2007-02-09 06:40:22 · 29 answers · asked by Steve F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I found the guys phone numbers on my wife cell phone and she wrote in a IVillage blog that the sex was great but she felt guilty. When I confronted her, she said she just wrote it as a "fantasy"
2007-02-09 06:41:32 · update #1
I should add that she says I am the crazy one and that she had no affair and that the only reason the guys name was in her cell phone is so that his 7 year old !! and our 16 month old could play together...
2007-02-09 06:42:31 · update #2
She has dug in her heels that she did not have the affair, yet, the blog i found talked in depth with 100% truth about "our" personal relationship, intimitacy details, yet the blog she wrote about the affair - she claims was "fiction". Should I give her the benefit of the doubt - I have callled the guy and he of course says that they "just talked"
2007-02-09 06:49:47 · update #3
POLYGRAPH MY BEHIND.. CAN'T YOU SEE YOU HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES..AND WHEN IN HISTORY DOES A SEVEN YEAR OLD HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH AN 18 MONTH OLD?? NEVER I TELL YA!! THAT KID TAKE ONE LOOK AT THAT POOR BABY AND SAY NO WAY IM TOUCHING THAT BABY SEVEN IS THE AGE WHERE THEY THINK KISSING THEIR MOMMA IS NASTY MUCH LESS A BABY WITH THE SPITTING AND THE DIAPERS.. OH NO HON, BUT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF KNOWING ASK HER TO TAKE THE POLYGRAPH TEST.. I BET YOU SHE WILL SAY NO AND GET REALLY PIST ABOUT THE WHOLE THING..YEAP MAN!!! SHE IS CHEATING.. NO DOUBT.. NOW IS UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU CANT TRUST. OHH AND THAT BLOG IS NOT A BLOG IS A JOURNAL OF WHAT SHE IS DOING.. SORRY TO HEAR THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU... GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-09 07:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Steve, There is no doubt that this is a difficult question and a most difficult time for you but you must face up to it. I think you should sit down with your wife and discuss this with her in a calm manner (losing ones temper in these situations won't help). If she won't admit to the affair then tell her of your proof. I would not ask her to take a polygraph as this shows distrust on your part. Whether or not your marriage can be saved depends on both of you. If you can forgive her and accept the fact that she was with another man and she can sincerely promise not to do so again, then you can try to amend your vows. I think that both of you need to see a marriage councillor to find out what caused this behaviour and to see if there is enough common grounds to carry on. If things cannot be righted, then you must seek an amiable divorce for both your sakes.
2007-02-09 14:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by Trail Hiker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get smart. Keep your mouth shut. Act like you believe her and get yourself a detective. Put a GP tracking unit on her car. Your detective can tell you about spyware for the computer and the cell phone. You can supeona the cell phone records and text messages when you go to court. Your detective can find out who the telephone number belongs too also. Keep your mouth shut and if she is cheating , she will continue to do so , and your detective will be able to prove it. If she is cheating she will never agree to a polygraph test. If you have an idea who this guy is you will be able to save a lot of money on the detective and give him his name and address he can watch him also. But keep your mouth shut till you have the proof in hand. Good luck and God Bless
2007-02-09 16:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The writing about the sex thing for a fantasy I could probably buy that, "so that the kids can play together" that is the sorriest excuse I've ever heard... but she took it to far you know what they say one lie leads to another.
She cheated on you so you need to think about what you want to do about it.. either you forgive her and tell her to cut off all relationships with that guy and never talk about it again, you get back at her, or you leave her and move on with your life!! but whatever decision you make think of your baby first!! good luck!!
2007-02-09 14:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by lorena 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Finding the number is one thing, but her openly admitting to him that she felt guilty sure doesn't sound like some part of a fantasy to me. Sure its ok to ask her, a polygragh however is a bit much and probably not necessary. Did you call the number and confront the dude? Hopefully she will confess and spill the beans. Good luck.
2007-02-09 14:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and forgive her you should study every word of that blog and copy it ! Make mad, passionate love to her ! I had an affair when my child was that age because I needed to know I was still desireable. If my husband had made an effort to win me back it would have beenj so great ! But he just kept neglecting me so we divorced. YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR A MARRAGE JUST LIKE ANYTHING ELSE WORTH HAVING !Touch her just in passing, really hear what she says,wake up ! Real relationships are so precious and rare. Why don't we invest more time and energy in gaining and maintaining them ? PEACE.
2007-02-09 14:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by Clover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHA!!! YES! Have her take the polygraph! I had to do the same thing with my ex-husband and I passed it with flying colors! They are very accurate if done correctly!! If she has nothing to hide, she'll glady take the test and prove you wrong. Even though he and I still got a divorce, I can walk away with my pride and know that he was just looking for a way out. I didn't give it to him!
At the time, it sucked and I felt like a lab rat out of the Maury Povich show, but I do not regret it at all.
2007-02-09 14:48:32 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Face 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's feeding you a line. Why else would she say "the sex was great but I feels guilty"?
It's real common for someone who has really blown it to try to turn around and be the victim. When she says you're the crazy one, she's trying to put it on you. Don't stand for it. If she's willing to take a polygraph, go for it. I doubt she'd do it but maybe the threat would be enough to put some sense in her tiny brain.
2007-02-09 14:47:51 · answer #8 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She says it was just fantasy ,yet there is a guy who you called.Don't be naive she had the affair and if you don't get out of this relationship you will get hurt even more
BEEN THERE my ex cheated on me never admited he did
his brother told me about it .Let her go.
2007-02-09 15:07:02 · answer #9 · answered by selma b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard i kinda experienced the same thing. What i advise to you that u print the evidence out and talk to her i know deep in Ur heart you wanna be with her ,you guys have a seven year old. If your to weak to let it go i suggest you talk it over with her and put her in your position. If that doesn't work i suggest you get counseling. If she is willing to be with a guy who knows that she is married with children let her go she will only end up getting hurt because hell do the same thing to her there will be no trust. You will be begged back guarantee.
2007-02-09 14:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by Jade Marrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋