ok am not gona breifly explain my problem as your answers will not be of use to me since you dont know the exact issue here. i am 23, muslim, arab girl, study law at uni, i respect my family etc. one year ago i met this guy who is morocan on the net, we connected just like that, evryday i admired him more and more. we got on so well, in the past i never thought i would get along so well with a man. we just fell in love, and now its been a year and he wants to propose for my hand. my mum when i told her she nearly got a hart attack. she said no way i can marry this person only becoz he is morocan, she hasnt even given a chance to meet him and see how wonderful and perfect he is. we have arguments all the time, she says its imposible to marry this guy becoz it will ruin the family's reputation (i.e morocans=bad reputation) am so upset for the fact dat he is soo much nicer than all de guys from my country and family. my hole family is agains me afat de recent phone call wd brthr, HELP
2007-02-09 06:27:55 · 5 answers · asked by sugar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
btw, yes i met him throuhg the net but ive been going out with him for 1 year. i spent more time with him than anyone else in ds life. we r best friends,and we love and very attracted to each other
2007-02-09 06:42:49 · update #1
in resonse to sheif's answer.
well we both live in uk. he recently called my brother and spoke to him on the phone. my brother hasnt acted as i expectd him to be. i hate my brother. my whole family seems to be against this. :(
2007-02-09 06:48:20 · update #2
to focus_ thanx for ur advice. well right now am very confused. i never wanted to get married in this way, but it not my fault that i fel in love with this guy who is not from my country. we have agreed to wait for each other as long as it takes, i want this to be done nicely, i want my family and esecially my mum to bless my marrige. i cannot upset my mum and go against her will but yet at the same time i cannot leave this guy since he is my life.
2007-02-09 06:59:43 · update #3
Ask him to come to your country for a visit, let him contact your family or at least one reasonable man in your family, trying to explain to him his feelings toward you, asking his help confessing your family, also u have to show your true feelings toward him to your family.
I hope this idea will help.
2007-02-09 06:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by Sherif S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're English degraded considerably towards the end there, but I will try to answer.
You need to decide whether you are going to follow your family's traditions or not. If not, expect little support from them. It's just the choice you have to make. You probably won't change their mind.
Have you actually MET this guy? You didn't say. Don't get caught up in a fantasy if you don't even really know him.
If you are going to make your life in the US or Europe, I say you are better off going with the man you love, rather than what your family wants. But if you live or will live in the middle east/arab world you probably will want to consider your family more - my wife's family has a lot of Lebanese people in it and I know that losing family connections in that part of the world can be very bad.
EDIT maya if they are anything like most old-world arab families I have known, they will NOT forgive that. I knew a Kuwaiti girl who married a white christian man in Canada and her parents and extended family were so upset they sent a family member to try and have her fired from her job, ruin their lives to force her to come home. When she did not relent, they went as far as to put ads in newspapers in the city they lived in publicly renouncing their daughter. None of them ever spoke to her again.
It is a move you make only if you are prepared for the fact that they might never want to speak to you again.
Sad Girl: I think you should do what you want to do. You are a grown woman (presumably) and you should be able to decide how to live your own life, especially if you are in the UK. It's sad, but keep in mind you will probably outlive your mother. A lot of us drift away from our parents. It happens.
2007-02-09 06:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey~ you gotta follow your heart! If you love this guy then run off and marry him! You 2 can be very happy together. Your family may not approve at firstbut eventually they will miss you and get in contact you. If not then at least you can be happy and have a good life!
2007-02-09 06:37:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.U kno may be ur parents right?According 2 ur letter umet only in net? Did u meet him in live?U kno people can write different good stuff so others will believe that they r the best!U don kno him actin in life.Don't hurry!
2007-02-09 06:35:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jidde I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get married with him without your family and later on they will forgive you
2007-02-09 06:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋