Do you think it is immature or polite to ignore people?

Question

I am tired of one of my friends selectively ignoring me. She's generally nice, but if she seems uncomfortable about something (almost always), she won't respond. This comes off as rude and snobbish to me but I don't push it because I believe people have a right to choose how to respond. Still, I think it is immature; I think that people deserve direct explanations. I get tired of her excuses and vagueness. So what do you think? Is it polite to ignore people when you don't want to deal with certain things or is it childish? Should people talk things out directly or politely ignore problems? I'm looking for opinions/related experiences. Thanks.

Honestly, I think I have a knack for choosing evasive friends. Once I asked a friend how her family was doing (I know her family) and she thought I was being nosy! I have to watch everything I say around a couple of friends. Luckily I also have friends who are more open. And I'm not even that outgoing. It gets frustrating though.

Answer 1

Although it all may depend on the subject, like if it is too personal to talk about or so, it is still rude of her to ignore you. No matter what the subject, it's just flat out rude. If she doesn't want to talk about something, or feels uncomfortable about something, she should just say, "Sorry, but I don't really want to talk about it." And that would be the end of it. There is really no reason to ignore someone like she does to you.

You're right about a person having the right to choose how to respond. Everyone does, including you. The next time she ignores you, this might seem childish, but to the same to her. Maybe she doesn't realize what she does, or how she hurts you, when she ignores you. Maybe she just needs a little taste of her own medicine.

Honestly, no one deserves to be ignored like you are being ignored. I think you should try to talk to her. Take her aside and talk to her. Tell her that if she doesn't want to talk about something that she should just tell you, not ignore you. If she doesn't listen or keeps doing it, then it might be time for you to find another friend or so. You never know, she might realize what she's losing if you do this and might change.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Ignoring someone is never polite, but sometimes it's how people deal with things when they don't want to be open about the truth (typically because they are uncomfortable about it).

If someone is keeping something from you that it is imperative that you know, then you've a right to be upset...however if the issue isn't that serious then why get upset simply because someone doesn't respon to you in the manner you desire?

Ignoring you isn't the answer, but a person is within their rights to tell you or make clear that they don't care to answer your question...just as you aren't obligated to answer those from other people.

Problems should be dealt with, but some people don't handle confrontation well at all. As long as your friend isn't being dishonest or deceitful, her behavior sounds more annyoing than anything else.

If it troubles you that your friend behaves as she does, then speak to her about it (don't accuse, just discuss). Perhaps you can gain some insight into why she behaves that way and even if her behavior doesn't change, you may be able to understand the "why" behind it a little better.

Answer 3

This is a childish way of dealing with things. In a situation where you are presented with an akward or uncomfortable topic, it is generally easier to change the subject or just flat out say that you don't feel comfortable with the subject. I wonder if maybe the subjects that come up are of a specific type that make this person uncomfortable. If so, then it would be polite of you to refrain from bringing these topics up around this person.

Answer 4

They are not your friends if they ignore you. There is nothing rude or immature about ignoring people. The unrealistic nonsense about 'being nice to everyone' ignores the the fact that not everyone has something in common or gets along. I am not going to move mountains for a stranger.

If you're a woman, you are inevitably 'mean, snobby, indignant or guilty of too much attitude'. I only have attitude if you really push me.

There are just certain people at work I do not care to associate with. Some are opposites--some are offensive. I don't appreciate racist remarks and obsessions over violence in New York and Iraq. He doesn't talk for five minutes but for twenty minutes. I go to work to work. Those topics are real bummers while working. We have to be pleasant and friendly while booking.

Just ignore him. Ask him to leave you alone. Tell him through someone. If they will not let up, tell them 'Enough!' and then threaten to go to management or else, just go to management.

Answer 5

She might be a middle child or something because it sounds like she has conflict avoidance issues. She doesn't want to appear to be taking a side. These people are uptight and take themselves wayyy too seriously. It can definitely seem immature and snobbish. In fact, I would say any form of conflict avoidance is, by definition, running from your problems and thus, immature. It's not something that's likely to change- don't waste time trying to find new friends! :)

Answer 6

Some people are meant to be ignored! It depends solely on you as to who you will respond to and who you will ignore.

Depending on the person you are ignoring, your action or lack of it will let them know of your intentions. To them it may seem childish or even rude. But by the same token, how many times have you responded by not ignoring someone and they thought you to be rude or childish anyway?

Answer 7

I don't think this "friend" in particular is a good friend. Sounds immature, like game-playing, or attention she knows she's going to get from you. Maybe you are being too nice to this person. She doesn't deserve your friendship if that's the case. You were concerned enough to write about it on here.

Answer 8

I think that your friend is mean. It is really stupid to ignore somebody just because you feel uncomfortable about something. Especially if she is supposed to be your friend! Maybe you should try talking to your friend about the way that she is making you feel. If she at least tries to change the way that she is acting then she is your real friend.

Answer 9

uumm it's the best thing to do really you dont esclate things and if you really dont agree with the other person its the best way of keeping them as a freind if she was to say somthing a fight could break out and would be way worse than just you thinking shes snobby really its the best way to deal with things with freinds
no it's not childish at all chilish is not picking your battles and saying everything that comes to mind your ment ot learn as you get older you shouldnt always blurt everything out someitmes being silent is a better way to go , or it could just be her it kinda sounds like its just her personality and if it bugs you maybe you shouldnt be freinds it maybe just the way she is so really i would let it bother you

Answer 10

I would say that she doesn't know how to cope with her problems therefore she just lets them go on their own. Unfortunately, I would also say that she is being immature by not dealing.