Recently divorced and feeling really down. Should I contact her or should I let it go?

Question

In the last few months of marriage I didn't feel anything for my ex but now I miss her...I tried dating but quickly I compare my date to her. I feel empty. So close to conctacting her but I know that we tried our best while married but we realized we couldn't continue. What should I do? I just want this feeling to go away...Anyone?!!

Thanks everybody for your answers. They do make sense and it was difficult to pick the best answer!!

Answer 1

let her go..bc u know all the reasons why it didnt work out..and dude, u got a divorce..that means IT DIDNT WORK OUT..
and ur just missing the idea of your wife..u know as well as i do..if u were to get back together ..after 5 mins together ud say..'oh yea now i remember WHY we got a divorce in the first place.' it happens and is perfectly normal! u will get over it...u just have to stay strong..

Answer 2

You will feel this way for a long time(sorry about that) but you would do best to not contact her.It's really tough the first few months and there's not much you can do to forget it all.I tried seeing other woman also but like you I compared them to my ex and it only made things that much worse.I decided to stop dating for awhile until I could find myself and figure out what I wanted to do next.I worked on my banking accounts and saved some money.I would spend more time with friends and co workers.My biggest relief was when I would just get out and drive around in the country.I didn't have a destination picked out but I would take a drive on the weekends and see what I could find.I also read allot of books so my mind wouldn't be idle.I build model cannons so that gave me an outlet to forget about the past.maybe you could find a hobby that will help relieve stress.

Answer 3

It is hard to let go of people we love and sometimes even though you are in love does not mean that you can live together...

Dating soon after a break up is not a good thing you need healing time

Feeling Empty is so much a part of parting....it is natural and something that time will heal although I know it does not feel like it now

Find things to do to keep yourself busy

Maybe you can be friends...later ....... if it was a amicable breakup....but later is the key

Do you think she feels the same?? That also is something to think about

Answer 4

I may not be an expert in marriage and divorce, but i dated a girl once for a year and half when we both said, it aint working. It hurts alot, especially when you think, in my case, you were going to get married. Sometimes contacting them and just talking can help, make you realize what you lost and that you still dont have feelings for them. Dont date right away, fill your time with a hobby, work, exercise, just have fun with your friends and co-workers. The feeling will always be there of "WHAT IF?" but you will be ok.

Answer 5

Tough it out and move on. DO NOT contact her. This is a terrible idea, even when it's just a girlfriend. Divorce is about as final as it can get.

Work on relationships with your friends and make an effort to meet new people. Don't compare them to her. She is in the past. Keep moving forward and before you know it, those feelings will fade.

Answer 6

It's normal to miss your ex. And, this soon after, to date, comparing the gals to your ex is normal. Please do yourself a favor, take a break from the idea of dating-for awhile. One thing you don't want is a rebound relationship with someone new-and then find out later it wouldn't work. There is a grieving time after a divorce. It's a loss of a spouse you had. Of a llifestyle you had. I request that you would please consider meeting with a counselor-to talk over these feelings, etc. you are going. thru. I wish you the best. Take care.

Answer 7

Do yourself a favor and do NOT call... What you're feeling are withdrawal symptoms of someone not being there.. You may feel you miss "being with someone" and not necesarily missing "her" ... think for a moment why it didn't work out... then remind yourself that it is just BETTER to move on...remind yourself that you are strong... the withdrawal feeling will stay around, but it WILL go away one day... it just takes time... and everybody goes through this and one day they're happy again... and you will be too... and you can then allow yourself to experience a better LOVE one day...

Answer 8

I am not sure you tried your best if you are feeling this way. Sometimes marriage is rough and you don't "feel the same" for your spouse but that is the part you have to work through and maybe you really didn't give it your best go.
I also feel you are lonely and that you may be reaching out for something familiar.

Answer 9

Move on. Contacting her will only bring up past feelings. Once you break up, the relationship is broken - you can't turn back. These feelings you're having are normal. We start to doubt our decisions. Just keep reminding yourself of the reasons it didn't work out the first time. Soon you'll start to think of her less, and fill that time with other thoughts. Be strong!

Answer 10

i think u know that u didn't do your best and now it is coming back to u, maybe u are now seeing that u miss her and that u made a mistake. if u love her i would call her, tell her how u feel, but she may have moved on, and if she has u just have to accept that, if not at least she will know how u feel. takes alot of courage to do it, could mean rejection but it could just as easily go the other way too. nothing tried, nothing gained. good luck