do so many people feel we have to buy things for our kids? I don't buy Valentine's Day gifts for my kids, but I do for my husband and he does for me. We also go out to dinner among other fun things ;) We both feel that this holiday is meant for lovers, not kids. Last Valentine's Day his ex complained that he didn't send his kids flowers, cards and candy for the special holiday. I tried to explain to his kids that this holiday is for lovers, not a kid holiday like Christmas or Easter when you get 'stuff' but their mother made it seem to them as if their dad didn't care enough to send them gifts! I refuse to send gifts to kids for Valentine's Day, am I wrong? I've never done it for my kids. They do have their little party at school which is also weird to me as their so young and don't even understand the holiday. So is NOT sending gifts to the kids ok or should we send gifts?
Please only serious answers =)
2007-02-09 06:08:44 · 15 answers · asked by Incognito 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Valentine's Day
Just to add, no, he never had any tradition of buying things for his kids on V-Day and really not even for his then wife. She was the one who bought everything and made a big deal out of it with the kids. I appreciate all the differences of opinion tho and advice, thanks!
2007-02-09 07:13:09 · update #1
The reason for the gifts push is purely market-driven.
The reason for the school activity is to help build social comradery, and it's an excellent theme to wrap around otherwise rather boring "learning stuff." It's a great arts and crafts theme, and it does have at least some social value in teaching kids to think about caring for someone beyond themselves -- until the greedy gifters got involved, that is. That brought the focus right back onto the kids.
The reason for the holiday is to celebrate love, especially between lovers. Yet, in this PC world run amuck, we dare not have anyone "excluded," as it might hurt our little feelings.
Here's a compromise: Send the kids a "Kid's Valentine," along with a few small candy hearts (picked out with appropriate messages on them), with a message stating that on this day you are reminded to tell them just how much you love them. But forget the gifts. That's over-the-top, and I agree with you -- we shouldn't be buying stuff for the kids on Valentine's Day.
2007-02-09 06:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of parents feel the "need" to give their kids presents if only to fit in. So they wont get teased at school.
My wife an i already are talking about xmas. We dont have kids yet but she doesnt celebrate the holiday. She never grew up with it (she was raised a witness and her father is muslim) and sees it only as a greedy holiday. Where i grew up with it and see it as a "magical and religious" day.
So stick to your guns. If you dont feel the kids should celebrate the day by receiving gifts from you than you dont need to. They are yours through your marriage and shoudnt be forced to buy or feel guilty for not buying gifts.
The other point (not sure of your kids age, but i am guessing young) is the ex may be trying to say "see i got you something and your father didnt". That happened to my stepsisters. Their dad(who had a ton of $) always bought gifts for them when he knew that their mother couldnt afford them.
2007-02-09 06:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by Bloodsucker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in school I dont think its a bad thing for the kids to exchange cards and candy because all they do is give it to their friends. Sometimes when people arent in relationships they do spend time with their friends. So I guess I dont see the big deal at school. Now on to them getting presents from their parents I really dont think so. I mean i would get and give a flower to my mom but she is divorced now. So I guess it depends on the situation. Maybe when the people are single they share that moment with their kids while others who are in a relationship dont. I think it just depends on the person because who knows when i have kids I might do the same as my mother.
2007-02-09 06:20:15 · answer #3 · answered by babi_gurl513 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you, I never bought gifts for my own kids because it's just not something I ever started. But, if your husband has always bought his kids gifts and now he isn't since he is divorced, then that is wrong because they are going to think that you are not letting him. If he's always done it, then he should continue doing it. It's a tradition he started long before you came along and the kids will be upset about it if the tradition is broken since he met you. Just my opinion.
2007-02-09 06:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by dorsie344 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Y ou're wrong.
These days, kids are making and sending Valentines Day cards to eachother in Kindergarten. They don't care about lovers or even being in love....what they care about is the Candy, the fun and the bright red hearts. Halloween has nothing traditionally to do with candy or pumpkins, but that's the part that kids love, so why take it away from them? Valentines day is just another fun holiday marked with red heart cards and chocolate candy. Yum.
By the same token, by not sending something to the kids, you basically said they have no place in your life and that you don't care about them on this day which says "Be My Valentine". Not Be my Lover", and certainly not "Be My LOVE" either. It's "Be My Valentine" which is to say be part of my live, those things I care about.
I always send my kids cards, candy or something on Valentines Day to just say I remembered them on a fun day. He should too and you should support him in this.
2007-02-09 06:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I guess it's different when they are your kids. Not saying you don't care about them but I do get my kids stuff (small things) for Valentines day because I don't look at it as a day just for lovers. I look at it as a day for the ones you love! It is a day to celebrate love in my opinion - not just for lovers
2007-02-10 12:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by Tricia B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you are wrong, persay, but I remember when I was little, but too old for valentines at school and I didn't have a "boyfriend" my mom would get me something little just to show that she cared. It was also a way to show me that I didn't need a boyfriend or be in elementary school to have a Valentine. She wanted me to feel special and I always did.
2007-02-09 06:22:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents have given me things on V-day, Easter, and all the other little holidays... maybe I'm spoiled, but its nice to know my parents think of me and my sister... maybe Valentine's day is for love AND lovers ;)
2007-02-09 06:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think whatever you choose to do is good! My parents always got us stuff for Valentine's Day. It was usually just a card and some candy. Nothing big, but I think they wanted to let us know that they loved us too.
2007-02-09 06:19:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I additionally went around shouting "happy unmarried understanding Day". surprisingly humorous surely. the guy's merely being relax and extraordinary. does no longer advise something enormous. I spend my Valentines day like another day, because of the fact rather, you may no longer choose a countrywide holiday to tell somebody you like them. lol sorry i variety of merely rambled there XD
2016-11-03 00:06:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋