My b/f and I have been dating for 15 months, moved in together after 10 months. He wants to move out and have his own space again. He thinks we moved in together too early. He has been separated for two years, and is in the process of finalizing his divorce. He is also facing a lot of stress at work (possibly losing his job), is worried about his elderly father with bad health, has regrets about not being there for his grown kids more when they were growing up, and is worried that he is a failure because he hasn't accomplished a major life goal in a creative field.
I asked him if he is ending the relationship, he said he isn't, he loves me and we will still be a couple, but he needs time to recover his identity (we made the mistake of spending virtually all of our time together after we moved in) and focus on his job and the creative project.
And the more the stress piles up, the more he shuts me out. I want to believe him, that we will be okay, but I am insecure due to my past.
2007-02-09 05:58:07 · 8 answers · asked by KLB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It looks like he is definitely going to move out. But we are going on a date this weekend (dinner and movie), and he just told me he loves me. So even though moving out looks like a big step backward, I think I have to try to take him at face value when he says he wants to continue the relationship and not imagine negative scenarios. Right?
2007-02-09 09:10:34 · update #1
It sounds like he's going through a lot right now, he's just completely overwhelmed by everything and trying to have a relationship while dealing with everything else is probably wearing on him as well. Be there for him, don't make things more difficult than they already are. Try doing sweet things to help him relax and to make his life easier (foot rub when he gets home from work, cook him a nice dinner) so he sees that having you around isn't adding to his stress, it's helping him through this tough time. at the same time do what feels right to you, don't completely sacrifice your own feelings to make him happy, tell him how this is making you feel. things will get better :)
2007-02-09 06:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by Becky! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not going to work out unless you both are into it. He may need his space give him what he asks for. Make sure you do your own thing. I wish you the best of luck I had a friend in a similar situation. Their relationship did work out but that is not saying that you wont. If he comes back around then great if not then you know how much you have to offer and if any man can't see how special you are then to heck with them.
2007-02-09 06:04:23 · answer #2 · answered by stefanibrown74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never have gotten involved with a man who was still married, even if separated. You can't make him stay, so you just have to let him go and have some space and see where it takes both of you. Should this relationship end-I hope you won't make the mistake of having a relationship with a man who is not free and clear.
2007-02-09 06:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that you and your boyfriend need to take a break from each other and understand that he has a lot of stress to deal with right now. When someone is under a load of pressure it is difficult for them to sometimes think clearly. I would not say you are not going to make it but you should be understanding of his position and feelings just as he should be understanding of yours. I think if you each talk to one another more you might find that things can be worked out in a better way and find each of you giving more support to the other oerson which will aid in each of you getting through his and her situations better.
2007-02-09 06:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a guy who really sounds like he does indeed need some space. Give him that space and hang in there. Time will tell.
2007-02-09 06:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him go hes a jerk your his girlfriend ig theres a problem he shouldnt shut u out he should talk to u about it and u should've made sure the divorce was final before movin in together....u better off without him
2007-02-09 06:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by PhotographyGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone love you. He needs space, so give it to him. If it's meant to be, it will be. If it isn't, let him go.
2007-02-09 06:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex went throw the some thing.. i no how its feels its hard to see them push you away when they really need you the most. we are still really good friends but we did not make it.. Good luck
2007-02-09 06:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by CRYSTAL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋