My husband and I are having some problems... and I'm starting to wonder if he only married me because he got me pregnant. Last night I was on his computer looking for somewhere we could go for Valentine's Day and I was searching it...well when I did that somethings he search poped up. While he was in boot camp he was searching "singles in his area" "women seeking men in my area" and things like that. So I asked him about it and he started crying. He said he was trying to find someone. He said he talked about sex to a handful of girls but one girl he talked to for a while. He said they text messaged each other alot and talked on the computer...Just like what he did with another girl over the computer that he knew from home. He said he did this beacuse he THOUGHT that was what I was doing...and because he didnt know if he really wanted to be with me. I feel like our whole marriage has been lies...
This was before we were married but I was 6 months pregnant...What should I do??
2007-02-09 05:24:01 · 12 answers · asked by NaVy WiFeY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just found this out! I didnt know it happened until yesterday and we are already married...
2007-02-09 05:32:11 · update #1
the bit were he said he did it because he thought you was doing it is the biggest loads of crap i have ever heard if you hadn't found out how far would he have gone if my husband was talking sex to someone over the PC I'm afraid he would have to choose his PC or me good luck i think your gonna need it x
2007-02-09 05:32:25 · answer #1 · answered by andrea.barrett36 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should first ask him straight up,Do you marry me because I was pregnant and you felt obilgated? Tell him you want the truth.
I was married to an average Joe not a military man,who told me after ten years that he married me because I was pregnant and he felt obilgated.He loved our child but never really loved me.Don't wait ten years to find out.
If you both can work it out and he truly loves you then seek some counseling.It is very hard to keep a marriage going especially military marriages.I hope the best for you,be strong!!!!
2007-02-09 13:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by miss-snoopy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You divorce him or at least seperate for a while. Move out or else he should (and yes he will probably run into the other womans arms) and once you do that do not speak to him about emotional things until you are strong enough to make an objective decision. It will also be hard for you to make an objective decision while with him for a while. he pretty much tells you he doesnt love you and is looking for other women. Why do you want to settle for that. Leave and tell him its just for a while..or else get him to leave.You need space and you need to figure out if you want to stay with someone who doesnt love you out of security and make you both miserable or just move on with your life.
2007-02-09 13:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing you have to realize is military men are loney. if you were the one writing him and talking to him everyday he wont need to look for someone to talk to. I'm not married to a military man but if I was, everyday he was in boot camp of over sees, he would have mail , a new picture of how you looked that day jut as if he was at home seeing you everyday. You husband wasn't right but at the same time you didn't make to much of an effort to help him thru his time of need.
2007-02-09 14:07:28 · answer #4 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk about what you both want out of life.
If you can be happy together, PLEASE do it for your child's sake. Do whatever you can to try.
If you just can't, ugh - here's a good reason not to get pregnant when you aren't married.
Trust isn't your biggest problem here. Your biggest problem is that he isn't committed to your marriage. That is an even bigger problem.
2007-02-09 13:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it obviously didn't bother you enough to NOT marry him!
has he promised to stay off those sites? has he told you that he's done with other women and wants to be with you? do you feel like this is a relationship you can be happy in, and set a good example for your child? these are all questions you need to ask yourself, before you can decide which path to take.
2007-02-09 13:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to show you how to trust him. He and time are the only two things that can fix it, well and you have to Allow him too. Its probably gonna take some time and alot of effort, but hopefully in the long run, it'll be worth it.
2007-02-09 14:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by chaa107 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seriously need counseling. He needs to deal with his problems and so do you. You are insecure because he makes you that way, get a good computer program that will show you everything he does online!! If he continues, get a good lawyer!
2007-02-09 14:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by bsoundog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello navy wife it sounds like hes has told you nothing but lies and you should probably get away from him for good before it gets to be a very big problem for you in the long run throught your married life
2007-02-09 13:48:24 · answer #9 · answered by harold g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. He's cheating because he thinks you are? Lame -O. Two wrongs do NOT make a right. You can't trust him. That's reason enough to move on.
2007-02-09 13:30:16 · answer #10 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋