I have just found out i am 8 weeks pregnant and i really do not know what to do. My boyfriend went mad and told me to get a abortion. I have agreed and i now dont know if this is the right choice, my appointment is 4 days away. I have just started a new job and i have no family to help. I feel so alone and confused. Please help me.
2007-02-09 05:10:36 · 30 answers · asked by Clara 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
thanks everyone for your advice. I did miss a few things out. I have been with him for a year and when i told him i am pregnant he told me i wouldnt be fit to be a mother and i cant even look after myself, he also told me his ex had a abortion, he didnt say whos choice that was. He is now acting like nothing has happened and being really nice to me.
2007-02-09 05:29:28 · update #1
If you have any doubt that abortion is the right decision, I don't think you should do it. I am pro-choice but, really, if you're not 100% sure, I'd consider a different option. It's not something that will just go away once it's done and over with. You could regret the decision for the rest of your life.
2007-02-09 05:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't make any quick decisions. You really need to think this out. First, dump the boyfriend. He has no right to demand that you an abortion. Second, make an appointment with a Planned Parenthood in your area or make an appointment to see your doctor. You can also try doing a Google search for pregnancy crisis centers in your area. You need someone to talk to and they can help you. Before you go consider all your options. Abortion, adoption or raising this child yourself. Can you provide for a baby? Do you want to have a child? If you choose abortion you really should have it done before the end of the first trimester (12-13 weeks). You may be able to go longer, but I think once the child reaches a certain size a different procedure is required (not just a D&C). Do not let your boyfriend pressure you into doing anything. You may regret it. Good luck to you and whatever decision you make. Remember this is your decision and don't let the anti-abortionists tell you otherwise. I'm sure they will leave me negatives, oh well!
I got pregnant when I was 19(in college) and had an abortion. I don't regret it because I know it was the right decision for me and the baby at the time. I went on to have three beautiful children and have not lived a life of regret like some people claim you will. I'm not heartless, I was just able to make peace with my decision. Whatever decision you make will be the right one.
2007-02-09 13:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave the boyfriend. How insensitive of him........ and how irrespossible of the both of you. I know you probably don't want to hear a lecture, but I just had to. Use protection next time if you don't want kids. This is going to be a tough decision for you.....the both of you. It sounds like he doesn't even want to be involved. Make sure you are going to do something you will be able to live with. I am a pro-choice believer, but I don't like abortions. This is your decision and no one else's. You already know how the father feels. Maybe you should consider adoption. There are so many couples out there who would love to have children, but can't. Maybe this is a way for you to help your baby, by giving him/her a chance at life with a family that will love or care for him/her. Children are the most precious thing in this world. And I know you are not ready for a child, but there are alot of people out there who are, and if you don't feel you will be a good parent, then give your child up for adoption. I bet you will feel better about that than just having an abortion. At least you know your child will be loved and safe. You should seek your options before you do anything drastic. You really should. I wish I were pregnant. My husband and I have been trying for 5 years. Think of the people who really want children and can't. You made a mistake, now you need to take responsibility for it. Giving your child up may be hard, but abortion is worst. Like I said, even though I am pro-choice, I don't believe in abortions.
2007-02-09 13:25:47 · answer #3 · answered by Meuy V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have an abortion. I know you are going to get many conflicting answers from everyone, but that is because this is a very controverial issue. Think about it this way: if you had an abortion, (which would be killing the little life inside of you) you would have to carry a lot of emotional baggage. You would be taking away a life that wasn't even given the chance to start. If you had that baby and 10 years from now, you asked him/her if they were glad that you let them live, I'm almost positive they would say yes. Life is a wonderful thing and please don't deprive your child of it. You can find many places that will give you support. First of all, your boyfriend needs to be dishing out child support. But, so you know, you are not alone. There are millions in your position. Don't be afraid.
Call this number: 660-429-3800
And visit this website: http://www.newbeginnings.upcsites.com/page/page/1715533.htm
This is info for New Beginnings Pregnancy Centers. They will embrace you and love you and take care of you in your time of need. Never hesitate to call them. I've seen what they do and I have worked in some of their offices for a "missions trip." They really care and they will help you.
You'll be in my prayers. And please remember that abortion is not the answer. If all else fails, your child will appreciate that you let them live even if you gave them up for adoption.
Who knows? Your child could be someone very important someday.
2007-02-09 13:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by juliefan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a while to decide--up to 24 weeks in some states. Why don't you think about it a while? It sounds to me that you need to do two things: examine how YOU feel about aborting the fetus. Then you need to decide if you are capable of pulling off being a single parent. It also sounds like your boyfriend is being unduly influencial over you...don't make ANY decision (to abort or not) because of him. This needs to be up to you! Find a trusted friend and discuss things. Let it all out--this will be very difficult. And don't let anyone on Yahoo! answers tell you what is right and what is wrong. Be strong!!
By the way, if you have a boyfriend and are sexually active, please visit a Planned Parenthood and discuss some birth control options, as well as have a yearly Pap smear and STD testing.
Once you Do decide what to do, please don't let it happen again.
2007-02-09 13:20:50 · answer #5 · answered by Waiting and Wishing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you decide not to keep the baby then I suggest adoption. I am a biased opinion though because my husband and I are trying to adopt and understand the joy you would be giving someone. If you decide to keep the baby then the baby could bring so much joy to you! It really is up to you and what you think is best! You can't undo your decision later on, some pros though are the fact that if you place the baby and choose an open adoption you can see pictures and letters of your child as they grow and know you made a good decision (with abortion you can't do that).
Anyway, I would love to talk with you if you would like to place your child in an adoptive home. We are working with an agency and have a home study.
2007-02-09 15:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by stitch604 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety dont listen to him. My ex told me to have an abortion and I didnt. I have the most wonderful daughter that anyone could ask for. Her (sperm donor) is not in the picture because he just didnt want any part on being a father. If you think about it it is not the babys fault. You 2 are both responsible for this and dont take the life of this baby because of him. My daughter is the best thing that has happened to me I would not trade her for the world. But please dont harm this baby just go through with it. Also if you have an abortion that lowers your chances at having another baby down the road. If he doesnt want you to have this baby and help you then get ride of him he really is not worth it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont have an abortion as I am trying to get pregnant again after having a miscarriage back in October which I am possibly having another one right now. I have to wait till I take a prego test. But keep your baby.
2007-02-09 13:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by Shannon H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly in this situation anyone would be scared and confused so the true thing you need to ask yourself is, are you ready for a baby?
Just becaus eyour bf doesn't want it doesn't mean YOU don't have to either. You both got into it together, you both had sex so it's not one but both of yours. He's made his thoughts clear already though. So relaly it's up to you.
Do you know how many families out there would love to welcome a new baby? If you can't afford to take care of him, or aren't in the postion to be raising one yourself think about this very carefully. Your doctors office, or even the local clinic or hospital would have wonderful resources to adoption agenices, that owuld get you into contact with people who can't have a baby themselves and would love to care for yours.
I think abortion is wrong, but it's not my place to tell you not to do it, but there are other options, that baby can have a wonderful life, and they are a gift, things do happen for a reason.
If your family is away, or you just don't have any family look to friends, if you dont' want to give up baby you may have some friends who's parents would be willing to help you out. A place to stay , a place for baby to be while your working.
Just as long as you understand there's other ways to deal with this instead of abortion.
It's alot of hard work, responsibilty but you shouldn't just throw a life away because it doesn't work for you. Talk with your doctors office or clinic, or hospital to get in touch with adoption services, or go to your friends and see if you can get some help when baby is born. They have families that one more than likely would be willing to give a helping hand.
Think of yourself and baby first, not your bf. He's already made it clear where he stands on this, right now it's just you and baby.
Take care, and I hope things work out for you.
2007-02-09 13:26:53 · answer #8 · answered by Bugster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please please please do NOT have an abortion!!! You don't need your boyfriend around, he sounds like a pitiful excuse for a man if you ask me. If you really do not think you can handle this baby on your own then think about adoption. There are tons of families out there that can't have children of their own and would love to adopt yours if you just don't think it's right for you right now. Once you have that baby and you look into his/her eyes you will fall in love and you will know that everything will be ok. I'm just about 20 and I just had a baby in December. I, myself was not sure if I could handle a baby just yet. My boyfriend at the time was very supportive and we were already planning on getting married. We are happily married now and our son is the greatest thing God has given either of us(besides eachother). If you don't think you are capable of loving your child then there is a family out there that will give him/her love. Do what you think is best. Good luck with your decision.
2007-02-09 13:22:14 · answer #9 · answered by Belle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think just about everyyyyone here giving u advice are very smart.
What you do need to get rid of is your bf. I understand you guys may not be ready for a baby, maybe u should get ready now.
I can't advice whether to have the baby or not, that's your decision, but listen to this,
my husband and I weren't planning on having a baby, and then I became pregnant, and wound up having a miscarriage.
..and now I don't want anything more than a baby, my very own baby.
Having a baby is tough. It changes your life, but it's for your child, who will be with you throughout your life.
Anyhow it's your body, your decision... but reading your question almost brought tears to my eyes, because I would love to have a baby, but I don't have it... and you have it but don't want it. =(
What you have is a blessing.
2007-02-09 13:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by Minute 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋