does this mean he is unhappy with me? I tell him to leave he refuses he loves me and fights tooth and nail to stay. I do not understand.. He wants sex with me all the time.. and to be close to me.
2007-02-09 05:09:21 · 18 answers · asked by lisarockshard123321 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He could just be pretty kinky, well hella kinky I guess. If that is his lifestyle then I guess the question is will you be happy with a crossdressing husband?
2007-02-09 05:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by kaspa_da_ghost 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Lisa,
I'm sure that right now you may feel a bit confused, and unsure where to turn. I want to assure you that just because your husband is a crossdresser, doesn't mean that he is unhappy with you.
It probably took a lot of courage and trust for him to share his crossdressing with you. I'm sure that he agonized over whether to tell you for a long time, unsure what it would mean for the relationship.
It seems clear that he's in love with you, but perhaps you haven't had open communication on the subject, which is something I would've hoped he could facilitate.
I'd recommend you create an environment of safety to try and understand him a bit more. Give him a chance to express his feelings, and listen deeply to understand. You should also expect the same from him, and share your thoughts and feelings on his crossdressing.
I know that if you both love each other, and tackle this together your marriage can grow even stronger for it.
I've included some links to resources on the Internet should you need someone to confide in. I'd also recommend speaking with a trusted friend, pastor or counsellor.
2007-02-10 14:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by vanessa.law1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an idea about how you feel, But trust me your husband is happy with you and I am sure that he loves you very much. He has probably been a crossdresser all his life, and for one reason or another, felt the need to keep if from you. Most crossdressers are heterosexual, so please don't think that he is gay. Also please do not jump to the conclusion that he wants to be a woman. The best thing that you can do is to find out all you can about crossdressers, communicate with your husband, ask him questions, I am sure that he will be open with you about it. Also come to a compromise on boundries that you two will be comfortable with, understand his very real need to dress, but also tell him what you can or cannot accept. I know that it must be hard to understand, and unfortunately, us crossdressers don't fully understand why we feel the way we do. There is a wonderful forum that you can go to and there are also other wives of crossdressers there that can lend you support and advice. www.crossdressers.com Good luck to the both of you, I really hope you two can work things out.
2007-02-09 12:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by JML 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you just found out about his crossdressing and want to end the relationship, but he doesn't? You said you don't understand he wants to have sex with you all the time and to be close with you.
Your husband's compulsion to crossdress has nothing to do with you. This compulsion has been with him for a long time. Chances are he has many insecurities and fears regarding his compulsion and has tried to quit or deny it on several occasions. He is not unhappy with you. He desires you and loves you. He most likely wants you to accept and embrace his fetish and by extension him.
I have a few friends that tried to quit crossdressing because their wives forbade it. They ended up doing it in secrect and their marriage finally ended. I have had other friends that had open-minded wives that accepted and even played along and got into the husband's crossdressing.
You get to decide what to do with this information. If you choose to end the relationship and he refuses to respect your wishes, legal action may be necessary. If you decide to give an ultimatum, understand that I have never seen one work for crossdressing. You also have the option of accepting his fetish, but choosing to not to participate or you can choose to experiment with him.
Kind regards
2007-02-09 05:30:06 · answer #4 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bless your heart.
He loves you. He has issues and desires that are fulfilled by women's clothes. As weird as it sounds, it doesn't mean he wants to become a 'real' woman. And, frankly, most of us have 'issues' that are sick and creepy, that we keep secret and aren't shared with anyone . At least your husband is open and honest with you.
That is a HUGE positive clue that things can be fine.
If it makes you uncomfortable, stay away when you know he is in drag. (I dont know if that is politically correct, but being PC is killing America so I don't care, forgive me if that offends.)
Go and see a movie or go do something 'naughty' like eat an expensive lobster or something.
Don't give him grief, don't give him an ultimatum. Accept, love, enjoy what you have. You did say, for better or for worse, right?
Stick to your promise and give him whatever support, help, he might need.
Good luck and good love.
2007-02-09 05:19:43 · answer #5 · answered by Avsky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
being a crossdresser doesnt change how your husband feels about you at all.Just because he likes to wear womens clothes doesnt mean he is unhappy with you or who you are,he was probably doing it way before you two met,just didnt tell you in fear of losing you.Are you open minded and able to accept him for his differences,Having a husband that likes to dress feminine isnt all that bad,you have to love him not only for who he is ,but what he is as well.Just because he likes to be feminine doesnt mean he is gay either,,most crossdressers are in fact straight,not gay.if it doesnt bother you to be with him when he dresses then let him dress in the way that makes him feel happy inside.Most important ,,be open minded,and honest
2007-02-09 16:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without having to completely reinvent the wheel, go to this web site and plan on spending quite a bit of time there reading the material. You may find that many of your questions about this will be answered there. It's CLEAN site so you don't need to be concerned about finding anything of an embarrassing nature. http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
2007-02-10 01:56:29 · answer #7 · answered by senorita_cd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he still loves you but also loves dressing in women's clothing. A man can be a cross-dresser and still be heterosexual. You need to find some information on cross-dressing to better understand it and perhaps there is an online support group for families of cross-dressers to help them sort through their feelings. Best wishes.
2007-02-09 05:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by §Sally§ 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's crossdressing has nothing to do with his love for you. It's just who he is. I really don't see what the big deal is, it's just clothes. He's the same person whether he's in men's or women's clothes.
2007-02-09 05:17:50 · answer #9 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who is a crossdresser and I really enjoy helping him dress and buy clothes.Try to understand him
2007-02-09 05:17:32 · answer #10 · answered by Pauline 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋