i have an ex-boyfriend and he is still really sweet to me. but my now that im engaged my husband to be dose not like me talking to him at all. and me and this ex have been though it all, good and bad. and everytime he hurts me i forgive him. but my husband 2b says i should not speak with him. whay should i do? i dont whanna loose what a good man i have nor a good friend how can i make both them happy?
2007-02-09 04:34:38 · 14 answers · asked by Bewbies 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You cannot have your cake and eat it too.
You fiance should be your best friend and your number one. In a marriage , there are no place for other "best friends". Cjeck your priorities and don't risk what you just so you keep on having your ego stroke.
Is not appropriate and is NOT ok. Make a decision.
Good luck
2007-02-09 04:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a difficult situation to be in.
I would recommend that you talk to your fiance and explain to him that you would like to able to remain friends with your ex.
It also sounds as if your ex has caused you problems in the past, but you seem to be a forgiving person. That is a plus in your favor.
It sounds as if your new fiance is very jealous. I don't blame him, but he's got to be made to understand that you can still remain friends with another man even though there is no 'boyfriend/girlfirend' thing with your ex.
If this fiance truly loves you and respects you, I bet he would be willing to try it your way. If not, perhaps you need to think about your relationship with the fiance. Is it really rock solid and ready for marriage if he can't understand your needs?
In other words, maybe he's not the right person after all!
2007-02-09 12:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by vgordon_90 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
truth is you cant make them both happy. If you love your soon to be hubby, then you need to be respectful of how he feels, even if it really bothers you. How would you feel if he came to you and said he was keeping a friendship with a serious ex GF. You cannot have a clean marriage if you keep this friendship. I had a similiar situation. I had a guy friend(one whom I had never dated) and my husband wasnt okay with me continuing on with it. I couldnt understand why so i started asking my dad, my hubbys dad and other family members that were men. They all had the same response- A man cannot be friends with a woman...even though to her it is a friendship, hes just waiting for the right time to swoop in. You continuing on with this is disrespectful and you know that deep down.
2007-02-09 12:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should listen to the future husband and respect his wishes. He isn't asking you not have friends, but is appropriate in you not having some sort of relationship with an ex. If you don't, he will likely not end up your husband. It is very likely that you cannot make them both happy. But, your loyalty should to to the future husband first. If it isn't, you should not marry the man.
How understanding would you be if he had an ex that he "had been through it all with", and wanted to talk and hang out with her?
2007-02-09 12:40:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first priority is yourself. Then, your DH2B. I wouldn't risk my marriage over friendship if I were you. But, you need to ask yourself, can you truly live without your ex's friendship? I let my DH2B know upfront that I have male friends (this is before we were a couple). I am not involved with, nor want to be involved with those guys for anything other than friendship. He knows this and is OK with it. Good luck.
2007-02-09 12:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by jessiekarma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth , you will find that you can't hold on to them both. If you are going to get married you must realize that you cannot disrespect your husband by continuing this friendship. I hate to tell you this but it is the truth. You can't have it all. Think long and hard before you get married. You have a choice to make.
2007-02-09 12:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order for your marriage to work you're going to have to give up this ex boyfriend, b/c having him in your life is going to cause marital problems with your husband(to be). regardless of how much you and your ex went through your husband is first...He's first before your parents, children, job, etc....And vice versa. In a marriage there must be sacrifices made in order to have a successful marriage.
2007-02-09 12:52:40 · answer #7 · answered by unknown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your fiancee's jealousy is cute
but it's a problem nonetheless
because if he can't trust you with other men
then this could become a huge mess
i would discuss this with him as best you can
because communication is key
explain that your love for your ex has changed
and that's the way it's going to be
you should invite your ex over for dinner
and introduce him to your man
it'll help absolve this jealousy
i think it's a decent plan
2007-02-09 12:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to look at it from your fiances point.
Would you want him talking to a girl that he was very involved with? That just isn't something that you do.
You need to tell your friend that you are getting married and you need to make him happy and if it means you not being friends with him then so be it.
2007-02-09 12:40:02 · answer #9 · answered by Boo8081 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband might act this way because, since you and your ex has gone through so much...he wants to be there for you when you are a lowest point...he doesnt want you to run to your ex for answers
2007-02-09 12:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋