Just wondering the types of things girls/women go through when their father left them at an early age....Types of faults or certain aspects of dating that this may have affected due to having just their mother all those years....Any info would be appreciated
2007-02-09 04:33:38 · 8 answers · asked by wjigga22 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Just wanted to add, this is about my g/f, and her father left her when she was about 1-2 yrs old. We've been together for 4 yrs, which has been wonderful, but sometimes she seems as if she doesnt trust me, and flat out seems distant. Like i said, we've been together for 4 yrs, so this isnt a HUGE problem. Just wondering ppl's input. Thx again =)
2007-02-09 04:55:18 · update #1
You hit the nail on the head youself. Trust. The most significant male in her life (even though he wasn't there, he and his absence had more of an effect on her than any other man ever has) walked out on the family and abandoned her. My dad was a cheater, and I have the same problem. I went to a family specialist for a while and this really helped. I was always afraid my husband would cheat or be interested (I don't mean just a casual glance, which is nothing, I mean really tempted) in other women. I figured out that because of they way my dad was (there was always a possibility he was at a strip club and lying about it, or out hitting on women; I even heard him proposition one of my mom's friends at my mom's b-day party!!!!) I always had this intense anxiety every time my husband even went to a friend's house to drink and I knew he was there. We could even go with him, and I would feel all anxious after I took our little one home and he stayed to play cards. Anyway, this is probably what she is going through. Please be patient, I'm sure she really does love you. Think of it this way, if you leave because of it, it will only reenforce her belief that all men will eventually leave. Don't do to her what her dad did (that will be how she sees it, anyway). She's distant because of a fear of intimacy, which also results from her dad's absence. She's learned you can't rely on the people who are supposed to be there for you, so don't get too close to anyone. (my husband's dad left his family when my husband was 5 and had pretty much nothing to do with him for 25 years). It wrecked my husband the same way. Stay with her. You can't just tell her you'll always be there and expect her to believe it. You have to show her. The advice my doc gave me about my husband was "be persistent, but don't push. If [she] acts like [she] needs [her] space, give it to her. Don't push [her] to "get over it" or get all upset." Eventually, she'll come to you after she sees that you respect her and trully care about how she feels. She'll feel safe and will open up.
2007-02-09 05:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents behavior always has an affect on their children. A father leaving may instill lack of trust in his daughter. A lot depends on how the situation is handled by the mother and also the age of the daughter. Just having a mother is another matter. That may be good or bad but chances are, it is a little of both. There are so many variables in the parent child relationship that can have lasting affect on the children that it is impossible to generalize.
2007-02-09 04:46:43 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When significant things (relative degrees of some form of trauma) occur at an early age, the child's lack of development leaves them without the abilities and coping skills necessary to deal with the loss. At an older and more mature stage of development, even though the loss is significant, they have more coping skills. Accordingly, the younger child does not get to resolve the loss, and may carry it with her. Her entering a relationship with you may be mixed with two psychological motivations: 1) a genuine affection for you and 2) an unconscious desire to fill the void of her early loss. Neither of the two should erase the other, and the two should be allowed to co-exist. You may just allow the same to occur as there are, in most of us, pockets of prior experiences that take our private times of thought about those experiences away from our partners from time to time without taking love away. A good, thoughtful question.
2007-02-09 05:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by dejrevilo@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the father is one of the first men that comes to a girl's life. the father-daughter link is very vital as it builds up some confidence in the child to go out and look for support even in men. When there is no father's guidance, the daughter may try to keep away from men or may not know how to act around men and may be gullible to being sexually exploited.
2007-02-09 04:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by Volvogirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They want a daddy to take care of them. You don't have to have a father that has left either for this to happen. If he's emotionally unavailble thats kind of like leaving. Some women then would tend to attract and be attracted to emotionally unavailable men
2007-02-09 04:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by elflocks62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father left me at a very early age it effected me so terribly it ruined my life.
2016-01-05 14:12:06 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes they get "daddy" complexes and they only find older men attractive...usually it goes away though.
2007-02-09 04:41:57 · answer #7 · answered by sarah s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All folks are different and react differently to similar circumstances. ;-)=
2007-02-09 04:43:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋