our first baby is due any day now and my husband still doesn't seem to think it is real. he still goes and hangs out with his male friends at the bar like its every other day. Does he not get that a baby will be here SOON! why doesn't he think it's real? will he change for the better after the baby arrives?
2007-02-09 03:56:44 · 11 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he has even admitted it doesn't seem real.
2007-02-09 04:11:07 · update #1
i have a kid and i am looking at him right now and it still doesn't seem real. its not that he's not going to be a good father he just needs to get used to the idea.
2007-02-09 04:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by pikachu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with your husband going out with his guy friends? And why does him doing that mean he doesn't realize the baby is "real?" Are you worried that he won't be available when you go into labor? Make sure he's carrying a cell phone or a pager so that you can reach him no matter what.
I think he's probably thinking that after the baby comes, he's going to be a little more busier being a dad, and won't be able to "hang out" with his buddies like he does now. He's probably getting the last bit of it out of his system.
You sound awfully insecure as well. He's not going to be attached to your hip day and night after this baby's born. The baby will be a wonderful addition to your lives, but you and he will still be individuals. You won't spend the rest of your life as "the baby's mother/father" (well, you will, but that will be among school teachers/principals, etc.) Ease up on your guy, give him some breathing room here, he'll resent the heck out of you if you try to keep him on a very short leash, and it will backfire completely on you.
Talk to him about your feelings here. I understand that you're probably more than a little frightened about giving birth. I know I certainly was. Explain to him how you feel, but without accusing him of doing anything wrong, because I don't think he has, at the most, he's being a little insensitive, but hey, what guy doesn't do that? I'm sure your husband will be a wonderful father to your child. I doubt you would've married him if you thought that he wouldn't make a wonderful father. You'll be fine, and your baby will be perfect. Just relax.
2007-02-09 12:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tricky question, it depends on several things, how was he raised? how old is he? Does he really want to be a father? I personally would not put up with a man hanging out at the bar with his friends, a bar is no place to be if you are in a serious relationship. Ask him what his priorities are, and tell him how you feel.
2007-02-09 12:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by sacredfaerie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has nothing to do with expecting the baby - the fact he goes out? Its whatever you've allowed in this marriage. If you want him to stay home, ask him. He will realize how "real" things are, the first night the baby wakes him up, crying!
2007-02-09 12:32:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men usually don't change. and it's unrealistic to think that you can change him. You chose him. This behavior should have been addressed earlier in the relationship, not days before a baby is due.
2007-02-09 12:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is self centered and will never care.You can't say that it shocks you.Did he want the baby or just you?They never change and no one can say they have changed any man,,,EVER.You are getting antsy and worried,that is normal.I wish you and the baby all the best...Your family will be complete soon.
2007-02-09 12:41:22 · answer #6 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hopefully he does but honestly if he is doin it now he may not change. i think that maybe u need to communicate with him. just dont sit back and take that if he is your man and u expect certain things from him then you need to let him know about that as soon as possible. possibly u should have told him about that before you get pregnant.
2007-02-09 12:12:49 · answer #7 · answered by Desire` 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully the reality will set in once the baby is visible. If it doesn't, get some help elsewhere so you don't get overwhelmed!
2007-02-09 11:59:50 · answer #8 · answered by Zebra4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was the same way, it took me going into labor for him to straighten up. After my daughter was born HE was the one who got up all night. He was great... until he left when she was 6 mos. old. Sorry had to share.
2007-02-09 11:59:55 · answer #9 · answered by newmom06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not real because he hasn't seen it yet. Wait until it is born and he sees it that will make all the difference.
2007-02-09 12:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by KAREBEAR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋