What can I do to get over the frequent feelings of self-consciousness/ anxiousness when I’m in an intimidating situation or around people…don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely social with everyone…but it’s the afterthoughts that bother me to pieces…I contemplate every single thing I may have said, every action, every single moment! I try to let go…but sometimes I get really caught up in trying to understand the true intentions of a person and that makes me really tense/ nervous around them…i hate thinking about how I’m perceived!
I guess it’s a fear of failure partly…how can I overcome these feeling and live a careless life???
2007-02-09 03:46:09 · 8 answers · asked by ? 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You just have to develop an attitude that you are you, and people can like you or not. You are unique and special and rare because there is only one of you in the whole universe. Not everybody is going to like you and that is their loss not yours. If you're just hanging around with friends don't worry about what your saying, just relax. Take deep breaths if you have to. Don't analyze about what you Think they might have said. You just have to train yourself to accept what they said at face value. Of course you must use common sense and a little wisdom too. This is just all the joys of growing up. Be yourself, think before you talk and after you say something don't worry about it anymore. You are the boss of your brain, not the other way around. Take control of it and whip it into shape.
2007-02-09 03:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, first off, you shouldn't try to live a careless life. 'carefree' would be much preferred. i only mention this because the rest of your usage of english is quite good (especially for this site) and i personally appreciate your correct spelling. it's just so rare.
that being said, i think anxiousness can often be aggravated by nutrient or dietary deficiencies or surpluses and problems with physical fitness, including posture. poor sleep can be a factor. viral infections and other pathogens sometimes play an important role. obviously there are ways of thinking that will make a difference, also.
probably your best bet is to see a good doctor. one of the worst ideas is to see a bad doctor. somewhere in between is looking for help from well-intentioned but uneducated people like me. you can email me if you want to discuss diet and fitness a bit more.
2007-02-09 04:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I used to be like that! I still have a little of it in me but not as much as i used to. I have never heard of anyone else that does that - of course i realise now that many people probably have but i had just never heard anyone say it until now when i just read your question.
Anyway i reckon the reason why i am a lot better is because i used to have low self esteem. I have worked on this a lot over time and I think a lot better of myself these days.
Try to look at what you are good at, what your good qualities are, what you enjoy doing, what things are you naturally better at? Concentrate on these things and work on learning to really like yourself and believe in yourself.
Three years ago I also realised that I was not including God in my life. I dont know if you believe in God or not - but I used to think there was maybe a God but didnt really think about it much or pray or anything like that. And then I went to a great church and had a personal revelation that God is our Father and wants us to include Him in our life. I started praying and asking for help and my whole life just improved immensely - including my confidence and self esteem.
But mostly you need to stop caring about the approval of others. Do something outrageous every now and then - not having a care at all about what others think. It is fun! And very invigorating! Eg. Just drive along and sing out loud in your car not caring if anyone sees or hears you! Or wear a real funky hairstyle for one day. So what if they think you are crazy! It is really good practice in just being yourself and not caring what others think! Be carefree! Baby steps is the way!
Good luck! Give yourself time and you will get through it! You will be a much more relaxed carefree person once you start doing these things. They are my main tips anyway!
And thanks to you I feel like I am not the only person out there with this tendancy!!!!
:)
2007-02-10 21:45:10 · answer #3 · answered by Nic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes not knowing is the worst thing. Anxious people tend to fill in the blanks and that's where they go wrong. They notice things that were never really there. If people would only tell you what they think, then it would be okay. But people don't just tell you things like that. You may have to ask. I asked someone about what he thought of me just this morning. It is true that I can't be sure what he said was exactly true (I think he may sometimes humor me or perhaps he's not totally conscious of his feelings), but I decided to believe that what he said was accurate enough.
2007-02-09 04:25:11 · answer #4 · answered by Susas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These feelings must come from somewhere. I would talk to a therapist or counselor to dig out the root of this issue.
2007-02-09 03:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so hard on yourself? Are you socializing with people you like?
You need to think over what you are going to say first before you speak up. Have some confidence in yourself. You can not please everyone.
2007-02-09 04:01:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kimora Miranda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im exactly the same way! and when people around me are laughing, i think they are lauging at me if i dont know what they are laughing about!! it drives me crazy.
Good luck. i wish i could help you out, but im the same way.
2007-02-09 03:54:59 · answer #7 · answered by <3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
see a consultant..a psychiatrist or a psychologist. see your gp. talk it through. get him/her to refer you
2007-02-09 03:54:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋