Gosh this is awful. I can only give you the benefit of my experience when, many years ago, I ended a relationship and my (then) boyfriend threatened suicide. It was truly awful. However, my mother and good friends told me to stick firm and to my guns and just not to give in to this. If you give in once, he will do it again. It is emotional blackmail and the guilt weighs heavy on you. It is likely that he is saying these words but wouldn't really contemplate ending his life but it's easy to say.
Be firm, say that you are sorry but you want to end the relationship. Do not give him any false hopes (that's easy to do, bearing in mind the guilt you're feeling) - it is unkind in the long run. Be firm, however difficult it is. Do not throw him a lifeline or any spark of hope as he will cling to it. Unfortunately in a beeak-up, one person always takes it worse than another and there is no way you can spare them the pain.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, and it really reminds me of the break-up I had. It was awful, I worried about this chap for ages, he always rang me and cried and it broke my heart to hear him like that. It would have been so easy to have got back with him but it wouldn't have been fair. In the end, he stopped ringing me. He never did himself any harm either and, in a few months, he found another girlfriend.
I hope my experience helps. Be strong. You are being fairer to both of you in the end.
2007-02-09 03:56:57
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answer #1
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answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5
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His life is his responsibility and it is very wrong if he is emotionally blackmailing you to get back with him. Feel sorry for him but make a clean break, which means not contacting or seeing him it will be better for him, and you, in the long run. He will get over it in time and hopefully move on but it is not your problem, it is his. Concentrate on your own wellbeing and getting through the break - I am sure you have made the right choice. Good luck for the future.
2007-02-09 13:02:05
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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He will be OK. In every situation where a relationship doesn't last, someone gets hurt. It is sad but, you must move on. Probably every person passed the age of 20, has been hurt because of a breakup. Be sure that what you tell him about ending the relationship is not hurtful and do not lead him on in any way.
2007-02-09 11:58:17
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answer #3
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answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7
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Well most the time people who say there going to kill themselves are normally lieing and just want some attention and why not were all human we need touch just reashure him you'll never leave him you just dont wanna go out with him, say we can be friends and "your a good looking chap you'll find someone else in no time at all"
give him dating advise
xxx
hope this helps
xxxxxxxxxxx
2007-02-09 11:50:22
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answer #4
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answered by Huggles [mozzafan] 4
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I am going through a very very similar situation now, weirdly enough.
I have been advised by a lot of people to take my boyfriend to Relate, or another couples counselling service. If he seems reluctant then perhaps lead him to believe that it is to patch up your relationship, and let the counsellor know privately what is really going on. They will hopefully gently guide you both towards what you want, and are there to help you not to shoulder all the guilt he is trying to force onto you.
Best of luck.
2007-02-09 12:55:10
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answer #5
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answered by eris348 1
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listen its hard but you gotta be tough I broke up with a guy and he was crying and everything ,he was phoning saying he was goona kill himself etc ,I spoke to a member of his family to explain what was happening and also told the member i thought it was best if when he rang to ignore him i was told yes best to do it ,it lasted a few days and died off as he realised i wasn't answering ,and his family were aware to keep eye on him.
Its not your fault he's vunerable and its is tough but he has to learn to move on .
I felt bad and i'm sure you do too but its for the best as if you stayed all you will do is resent him and keep trying to get out of it.
good luck xx
2007-02-09 11:52:00
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answer #6
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answered by Nutty Girl 7
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You obviously can't give up your life staying with someone you don't love simply because he can't deal with it. But I understand your concern... is it possible to pass the responsibility on to the people that remain in his life? i.e. let his family or friends know that they may want to keep an eye on him?
2007-02-09 11:54:47
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answer #7
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answered by selena n 4
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just be firmed with your final decision if u really want to do so, and avoid any contact with him. It will be sad for both parties, but time will heal the pain.
2007-02-09 12:06:30
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answer #8
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answered by snowynite19 1
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just make it quick and then stay away from him,u need a clean break,he shouldnt be putting you in this position.if its over then its over,if your still around he will always think theres a chance to get back together.
2007-02-09 11:50:00
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answer #9
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answered by Alfred E. Newman 6
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i've been in this situation..please don't give into his threats etc..his life is his responsibility. i think best thing you can do is cut all contact with him so he can get over you. good luck x
2007-02-09 11:48:38
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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