My wife would rather use a vibrator rather than have sex with me. She does not like oral sex or manual stimulation from me. I have tried everything to please her and even asked her to tell me and show me what makes her feel good enough to orgasim. She doesn't even like to use the vibrator during intercourse. Any advice or thoughts. Only serious anwsers please!
2007-02-09 03:40:00 · 13 answers · asked by frustrated_help 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What the??? Seriously....If you don't need sex from her, but do need it somewhere...ask HER to explain where it is that you are supposed to find intimate pleasure. If she can't give you a reasonable or acceptable remedy...if you can't love her without the sex, and she can't solve this problem (hers), then split the sheets and find someone who cares enough to work with you if they can't provide.
Old joke...yadda, yadda, why did you marry her? , well, when I met her ,she had worms...........and you know,.. I love to fish!
Sorry , just read a few responses...I read the question as... you can not practice fore-play as she doesn't like YOU doing it, she prefers a vibrator, and won't talk to you...if that's the correct interpretation of the question...refer to my original answer.
2007-02-09 04:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by twostories 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a vibrator is used too often then a women can get desensitized to stimulation and it will be much much harder for you to stimulate her enough. Does she even want to make love with you? If not I doubt it's because she believes you are not a good lover- it must be something else.
For a woman, getting "turned on" starts mentally- not physically. So get her prepared throughout the day for what she can expect at night. Give her many compliments, tell her what a wonderful lover she is (even if she's not- lie). Make sure that there is a lot of foreplay before actual intercourse ( this isn't always 'sexual' foreplay either).
If this doesn't work I would venture to say the problem is deeper and you guys need therapy.
Good luck! :)
Usually when you think about all the things you can give to and how you can make someone else happy- you end up getting and being happy as well!
2007-02-09 04:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Humble Proclaimer♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try this radical approach for two weeks, and see what happens.
1. Be very nice to her, but like she is just a good friend
2. Dress nice every day. Stay clean and put on some after shave she likes
3. Don't even mention sex
4. From time to time be sort of flirty
5. Sit back and let her come to you!
(Sometimes men get boring, and women feel they are 'needy'. If she sees you as this hot guy that maybe likes her, but doesn't need her, it will turn her on!)
2007-02-09 04:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm your wife need to go and seek proffesonal help, if u say that u asked her what type of sex excites her and none of them includes u then u have a problem. did she say why she does not want to have sex with u, the reason why i am asking is that if she rather use a vibrator then she does enjoy sex just not with u.
2007-02-09 03:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by GRUNT 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For ladies sex is not only about the action. It's about how they feel about you all day. I would try to give her complements throughout the day, maybe call her from work and tell her you were thinking about her. For-play during the day will go a long way.
2007-02-09 03:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Soulfulgrl 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried foreplay ? Women need stimilation. Try giving her a nice massage, and kissing her.Nipping her ear lobes. It goes a long way to putting her in the mood. Take it slow and gentle. See what happens, you might be surprised.
Good Luck.
2007-02-09 03:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps she feels in control without you. She knows exactly what she likes, what feels best.
My wife, due to previous life events, doesn't like to be dependent on anyone. She kept that a secret while dating, along with her low interest in sex.
Once she ate wedding cake her true colors came through.
She won't talk about sex, "Why we just don't do that where I come from!" Counseling was a waste of time and money.
She cares little about my needs but uses her vibe when she thinks I won't know. I do know.
Maybe you can come to an agreement that she takes care of her needs however she wants and you do the same. Good luck.
2017-03-19 04:15:11 · answer #7 · answered by inquiringbrain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the idea that spouses should not refuse sex to each other for futile reasons is a good idea. we can keep that kernel of truth for today and discard the sexism of yesterday
2016-03-28 23:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is the only one who can explain this to you. Maybe you should ask her why.
2007-02-09 03:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you say she doesn't like to have sex with you, but does she actually have sex with you? - Is she cutting herself off from you?
2007-02-09 04:44:33 · answer #10 · answered by unknown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋