I've always been about doing the right thing for my wife. First I married her but not under ideal circumstances. I got her pregnant so I stepped up to the plate and lived up to my responsibilities. Most guys don't even do that these days, they just cut and run. Second, I encouraged and helped her get through college. This ensured that she would be able to get a decent job in the event that I croak or leave. I did not want her to be the type of woman that cannot earn her own money and support herself if need be. Third, I encouraged her to get out there and get a job and in fact she got a better paying job than I have. Lastly, we were finally able to purchase a nice home in a great neighborhood. I am so proud of her!
The problem is, I never got a chance to live it up before marriage. In fact she is the only woman I've ever been with. Her, she had a previous lover.
Is divorce my only option to be able to "sow wild oats" now? Would this be the "right thing" to do for her?
2007-02-09 03:17:03 · 7 answers · asked by Billy Bob D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For those of you that say I'm being selfish: That’s the problem. I've never done anything just for me. It has always been about taking care of her and fulfilling her dreams.
I've been bending over backwards for her for a long time. Now, I feel that I am exhausted and have nothing left to give.
2007-02-09 03:55:58 · update #1
And no I am not blaming her for anything. Yes, I did all these things becasue I wanted to do it.
I do not want to divorce period. But at the same time, I don't want to regret not having "sown wild oats".
2007-02-09 04:35:08 · update #2
Question is: What is the right thing for you? Do you think "sowing wild oats" is worth losing everything you worked so hard for? And, it seems like you and your wife did some really hard work together building a relationship and lives together. That's a questions you really need to take some time look inward and think about. Good luck.
2007-02-09 03:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling a lot of resentment towards someone who you say you encouraged.
If it's wild sex you're looking for, why not find it within your own marriage? Trust me, every woman has the same parts.
I would suggest you talk to your wife about your need for new and interesting sex, but do not tell her you want it with someone else!
There are sex toys, videos and books all geared toward couples.
The one thing that stood out in your remark was this "This ensured that she would be able to get a decent job in the event that I croak or leave"
Sounds to me like you don't feel like marriage is a lifetime commitment. Sure you want to even be married? Look inward and stop blaming her. Anything you did for her you did because you wanted to do it.
2007-02-09 12:02:58 · answer #2 · answered by katalah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So basically what you are saying is that she is not good enough for you, that she does not meet all you need. Look, who cares if you slept around or not, what matters is that if you truly love her you would not be questioning this.
This is not a problem if you want to live it up, then live it up with your wife, try different positions, etc...etc...anything to spice up your life. And also talk to her about this, she probably has no idea, and you are just going to drop a big bomb on her!
2007-02-09 13:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by Zuly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would u want to jeopardize your life? would not be the right thing to do to her. if she finds out and they all ways find out eventually one way or the other, she may not see it your way at all, if u love your life i wouldn't chance it, i would control my urges because once u do it you will never see your wife quite in the same way again, and what if u fall in love with the other person and it causes a divorce, it seldom works out, in fact u may live to see regret, and shame for your choices. just say no to temptation.
2007-02-09 11:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the American dream, nice house, 2 incomes, kids, and you want to throw it away to screw another woman. The grass isn't greener on the other side. You will find it isn't so easy out there in single land. I think you need to have your head checked.
2007-02-09 11:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are tired of your life with a wife.Tell her what you have going on in your head.She needs to know.And you know what you are going to find out that all women are the same....We just are plain or kinky...If you want one or the other tell your other.......
2007-02-09 11:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with her and quit being a selfish jerk. You got her pragnant so I am sorry about your luck.
2007-02-09 11:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by jrhod263 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋