opinions on smacking bottoms of children.?

Question

when you go to far.
when you don't go far enough?

Answer 1

im all for spanking, if it was a dangerous situation, that could of resulted in someone getting hurt, like catching your child sitting on top the refrigerator, but if they broke a vase, i would never spank them for an accident. ... i was spanked, i turned out pretty good, never had resentment for it... had fear of my dad, lol, but in a sense , establishing a small sense of fear is good... just make sure if you spank them, they always know they can come to you when they have messed up..

Answer 2

I've had argued about this with my husband recently! and had been thinking if there is love behind it (smacking) then it should not be too bad. But my husband always says smacking is violence and it's not necessary to use it for discipline our children. Also he says if parents punish the children physically a lot then they will be violent person.
I do try not smack my children till the very end but have to admit that most of the time I lost my temper when I do it.
It could be much better not smack children if they are big enough to understand verbal warning because some children get damaged by those parents action. Actually there are so many parents bringing up children without it.
I did not agreed with my husband the other day but I will try my best after this. It was very good for me to read all those answers and thank you for asking this question. It made me think a lot!!

Answer 3

This is always a tricky subject... First off i believe in a smack in the bottom if it's truly needed... And only on the bottom no where else. And as for going to far you should not spank or smack you're child if you cant control when enough is enough . You will see if you went far enough or too far as for how you're child reacts to the punishment if you're child is more than willing to do what they have done wrong again and got a smack for maybe it wasn't enough....and if they don't try it again then it was enough.... But always before a smack or a spank or a hit of any kind try a talk and some time out first, I resort to a spank LAST...Good Luck..

Answer 4

I feel if you have to hit a child to get it to stop doing something, you haven't succeeded in establishing your authority.
People smack from fear, anger, frustration, to get a child to do something, or not do something. Is that the message to give to a child, that it is all right to hit anyone in those circumstances? If you are a person who hits out and loses control of their temper, then the chance of going to far is high and it becomes abusive.

Also. it is a form of discipline which has diminishing returns, because once a child gets used to it, they may realise you have nothing left in the locker. Also it only works on smaller children - try it on a teenager and you might get the same back

Another thing I notice with chronic smackers, they can be pretty vague about what they are hitting for 'messing about', 'starting' or 'carrying on' for example. Or just for whinging, which all kids do. All of this means nothing to a four year old. The message that can come across is that parents hit their kids.

OK, confession time I have done it (rarely), but on each occasion, there was a more effective remedy, if I had not reacted so quickly.

As for the idea that you may not go far enough with smacking, that is truly a dangerous notion.

Answer 5

I get so sick of people saying that a spanking here and there makes kids resort to violence. I was spanked when I was a child and I have never used violence, nor has my sister. Good parenting keeps kids from being violent. Most of the time I just have to nicely ask my son not to do something and he'll quit. When he was younger if he didn't quit I'd move him away from whatever he was doing..and now that he's almost 3 I will give him options. I'll say something like, "Okay if you won't pick up your toys then you can't play with them for the rest of the day." I know, sounds kind of corny, but it's taught him to be responsible and makes some decisions. BUT, if your child simply won't listen to something you have repeatedly asked them to do, a little pat on the read end never hurts..just as long as you aren't physically hurting them.

Answer 6

All children are different and as individuals cant be disciplined the same way as another child what works for one may not work for the other, I think to start a naughty step or spot is worth persevering with but in case of this not working a light smack on the bum is not out of order.
As a child i was smacked straight away with belts, slippers etc i would never go that far even though it never did me any harm

Answer 7

A smacked bum never hurt anyone, both my brother and I and my Other Half and his brother and sister all got a smack when we were kids and we played up. We haven't grown up emotionally damaged or violent and we knew our parents loved us.

Sometimes you need to break a child out of tantrum and all the words in the world don't work.

I was a little brat as a child and a smack was often the only way to stop me doing dangerous things like breaking away from my parents' hands and running in the road!!

Just don't use it as an alternative to communicating with your kids. If you can resolve the problem verbally then do so.

I hate all this PC crap about "Its child abuse". Theres enough REAL child abuse going on out there - wtiness the poor little girl beaten and starved to death in Bridgend by her evil parents or the three year old disabled girl who was made to sleep naked in a toilet and kicked and burnt by her parents (recently convicted and locked up). If the police and Social Workers want to stop child abuse maybe they should concentrate on stopping these real abusers before they kill their kids rather than harrassing a loving parent who gives their naughty little tyke the odd smacked behind!

Answer 8

Whenever I end up smacking my kids (which is only once in a while I hasten to add) I nearly always regret it. It basically means I've lost my cool and the situation has deteriorated out of control. On the one hand, I think kids should learn that people occasionally lose their cool and there are limits to even their loved ones' patience. On the other hand, I do agree that violence is never a valid response to a situation and there are usually ways of defusing the hysteria before it gets that far. I would say as a rule you want your kids to respect you, not fear you, so only smack as a very last resort (other parents may agree that sometimes kids can wind you up beyond belief, and smacking is sometimes the only way to jolt the kids out of their crazy spiral)

Answer 9

since working in nursery i have learnt to deal with "challenging" children without smacking and get the results i want. I also have put this into practise with my own 2 children and has worked well. I look back now and realise i only smacked my own children out of anger myself and if i continued i was meerly showing them that its okay to hurt others. I havent smacked my children for years now and do feel a much better parent for it. Smacking is a sign of weakness and is a quick fix not an answer.

Answer 10

I think spanking is ok but only if done correctly. The first answer is the same view that I have and my parents were the same with myself and my brothers. When parents smack their children for no apparent reason or if they are just crying then yes it is giving the wrong message and the children will not learn anything from it.

Answer 11

I don't believe in corporal punishment of children, and I dont feel that smacking is a useful tool for disciplining children. I have 'smacked' my children's hand, this is used only in situations where they have either been very dangerous, or hurt someone else. For example, if my young daughter were to 'pretend' to run out into the road I would take her hand in mine and tell her that what she did was very, very dangerous and that if she did it again then she would get her hand smacked. This has happened once or twice - I would rather that she be scared to go near a road for fear of a smacked hand than venture too far and be killed.