Why is it that people often find it easier to talk to a friend or stranger rather than the person they have a relationship with? Is it because we don't want to cause unnecissary ripples within the fragile confines of the relationship or is it because people on the opposing end get defensive when their partner starts talking about whats going wrong ... e.g. "i hate that we don't spend quality time together". The person feels its their fault that they don't spend the time together so they put up defensive barriers in the manner of explanations ...
Why also, is it that we feel that friends or strangers understand us better than our partners and hense manogomy presides us when this occurs ...
This question goes out to men and women alike as we all have the same problems and it is not gender specific.
2007-02-09 02:51:02 · 12 answers · asked by thesaxman50 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think its about egocentric attachment to each other; something that can limit the true communication process. We hang on to each other and believe that our own identity is linked with the other person's identity. It healthier to live with a lighter touch and I think when we talk to people outside our immediate emotional circle, thats what we experience.
2007-02-09 05:42:26 · answer #1 · answered by madresicilia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the scenario isn't fused with emotion and ready to blow with a friend or stranger. The subject, any subject, will have much less magnitude than it has with your primo - this is how it should be. Get rid of the high-octane stuff elsewhere, in the safety of a friendship, then bring the rationale element back to the significant one.
My experience is that friends and strangers do not understand me better than my partner. She knows where I am really coming from, whereas they fall for my 'justified' version. Have you noticed, you always go to your friends not theirs - you know it's true.
Get back in there, take your punishment...
2007-02-09 14:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by steveb9458 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just want to avoid the defensiveness or you want to be sure how you feel first before you broach it with a partner. Sometimes it is also easier to talk to a stranger because if they do judge you , it doesn't matter because you don't have to see them again.
2007-02-09 11:00:54 · answer #3 · answered by Jo H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to vent to people that understand them, and actually hear what they are saying or that are going thru the same situation. i.e.... I have told my husband several times how I feel, and it goes in one ear out the other. It is all about him, his likes, his problems, etc. My interests, likes, dislikes don't matter.
2007-02-09 11:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
strangers are less defencive of why your expressing a point to them as it will have little impact on them or their life.
i can't talk to my family or friends at all , so use a computer to do it. i find it helpful and easy. and most people on line want to listen.
2007-02-09 10:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by shadow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you talk to someone dear to you, he/she will act emotionally to your messages. Whereas, a stranger or a friend will listen with detached concern.
2007-02-09 11:02:56 · answer #6 · answered by Timeless - watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we feel like strangers know us better because they've had no past judgements of us so their opinion wouldn't be made soully on the things we had done previously, at least thats what i think, does it help??
2007-02-09 11:05:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes - yes and - yes and that's how iv made a living as a counsellor. there is often too much 'agenda' between partners.
2007-02-09 14:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by Freethinking Liberal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its easier totalk to a friend or stranger cause you can get an unbiased opinion form them. theyre not gonna get thier feelings hurt.
2007-02-09 10:57:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its because we get so used to each other that we think the other person can instinctively feel what we're thinking and how we feel.
2007-02-09 11:01:22 · answer #10 · answered by stoutseun69 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋