I live in a building with lots of senior citizens. Both men and women (not all) say that their spouses had affairs but they saw it as a stage and they stayed together. Also, they didn't discuss it or make threats. Both men and women usually acted as if he or she didn't know. Where he or she obviously did know, they went on with their lives. In some cases, the person did leave but it wasn't the norm as it is now.
2007-02-09 02:48:23 · 15 answers · asked by tia burk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I don't agree. I see no reason to waste my life, love and integrity on someone who would lie and cheat on me. I'm worth more than that.
2007-02-09 02:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I do. But I also think whether or not to leave depends on individual circumstances. You're talking about senior citizens - that is a generation who, for the most part, did not believe in divorce. Acting as if they didn't know was pretty common back then, but that's not the way to address the issue either. Who wants to spend their lives in a state of denial? That's ungodly.
I don't believe in divorce. I believe people should not even GET married until they've attended several counseling sessions so they have REALISTIC expectations of what a marriage is supposed to be. People make mistakes. I'm not sure what I'd do if I were in their shoes. In this day & age, temptation is MUCH stronger to cheat on a spouse, and since most people do not have the relationship with God that they should, it is much more difficult to resist the temptation. If it was a one time thing, the couple might be able to get counseling, forgive, and move on with their lives. If it's a regular thing and they've tried counseling, then divorce may be the only option...but forgiveness is STILL the key if they're ever going be able to move on and be happy with anybody else. Jesus said adultery is the only legitmate reason for divorce. (NO - I do not think He believes it's ok for anybody to continue to be a victim of extreme, even life-threatening abuse. In my opinion, that would be the only other exception to the rule.)
2007-02-09 11:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a beautiful gift that too many people take for granted. Selfishness is the worst sickness in this world, and every single one of us is affected by it in some way or another.
Affairs, cheating, betrayal, is NEVER okay. Yes, people do leave too easily now, divorce is easier and more common. When pain enters, hurt, betrayal, lying... people obviously are going to choose the way out.
An affair comes from selfishness, desiring your own gratification whether emotionally or physically. Marriage is never about ME. Otherwise two people wouldn't be involved.
Affairs are dangerous and self-gratifying which will only lead to disappointment, they should be avoided, not dealt with and pretended like they are okay and everyone should just deal with.
I don't blame people for leaving after betrayal, although the true test of one's love and committment comes when they have been betrayed and love the person anyway.
2007-02-09 11:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by crimsnclover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
back than i think there were affairs but they stayed in the marriage because of the kids, perhaps the spouse had no job, or any means to leave. but today i think it is much easier to leave, and the other person, the homewrecker,in the marriage is alot smarter and less willing to take just an affair, they now give ultimatums, and expect alot more from the person they are having an affair with, and actually insist they leave their marriage to be with them. and many years ago they could take the other person in the affair into court and sue them for alienation's of affections, not today, as most states have done away with that. so no longer do they have the consequences as there was years ago. today the other person has probably been in an affair before with someone who hurt them, so when they get into the next affair they are much smarter and insist they leave the marriage, so they won't be wasting their time and so they won't be the one who gets hurt.
2007-02-09 14:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Years ago more women tended to stay in bad marriages with cheating spouse for simple economics. Many women didn't work outside the home as they do today so the options to leave a cheating dog is a much easier decision because they can support themselves and have courts back them up financially with court order support when children are involved.
2007-02-09 11:00:41 · answer #5 · answered by DL13 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That may be a clever way to live..and then again it may not be c onsidering all the desieses that are out there now you certainly do not want your boyfriend messing around with someone else. I left a man because he wanted me to stay at home and be the hub while he went out and picked up attractive women to be friends with didnt awnser his phone and then lied about it after saying he would not tell me about these women and he would not stop. So he got the boot and I am glad because inside it killed me and I know that it did not fit my ideal of family life what so ever..it doesnt even matter that he wasnt sleeping around with them..three weeks after we break up he is seeing one of these girls as a girlfriend and I can only shake my head and say good riddance im glad to be done with him. So that is why it doesnt work it hurts to much.
2007-02-09 11:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person should go through that stage before they get married or don't bother with getting married. Don't put someone else through that. Your mate shouldn't have to act like they didn't know- that isn't fair to them, they should leave and find someone that has the same goals for a relationship as them.
2007-02-09 10:55:32 · answer #7 · answered by NLH823 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree....people these days are getting married and divorced like people used to date and break up.....it is a little ridiculous when people are not even married one year and are filing for divorce.....It takes longer to plan the wedding then most people are staying married. Marriage is not a walk in the park you have to work at it and put effort into your relationship with your spouse.
2007-02-09 11:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by JenS12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry if someone cheats on me they have broken all trust. Cheating isn't about a moment of pleasure, it is about the thrill of betrayal. It's evil. I want nothing to do with someone who would cheat on me. To stay with a cheater is to live a lie, that there is really any trust or commitment or partnership.
I would rather continue to be alone in the world than count a cheater as someone in my life.
2007-02-09 11:01:36 · answer #9 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is the deal breaker. Marriage over. Senior citizens had different thoughts and values when they were coming up. No person should be disrespected that way.
2007-02-09 11:02:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People have more options today. As recently as 30 years ago, women were financial slaves to their husband, so they had little choice. There is also not the stigma of a single mother that society used to have.
2007-02-09 11:00:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋