It all started last year when I was having serious problems at home with my husband. He also was having trouble at home and so we sort found comfort in each other's company. I decided to separate and live on my own. Then I tried to work things out with my husband again but there was no success. He sort of fixed things with his wife but continued the affair. I now realize I have fallen in love with him and know I need to let go....but I can't. And when I tried in the past, He always called me and tells me he needs me and loves me. He has kids and I would never ask him to leave home ( i am a mom myself) but I know that when I try again to stop seeing him I won't be able because he will not allow it. He is so sweet and gives me the strength to keep going. Sometimes I wish we could go back to been friends and for none of this to have happened. Now im madly in love, What can I do?
2007-02-09 02:35:51 · 32 answers · asked by RR77 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
P.S.
Im already in the process of divorce and it hurts. My kids are with me all the time( when im not working, I do have two jubs..), I would never leave them behind. And they seem to be happier too. Thanks for ur answers. I'vemade mistakes but who hasn't?...
2007-02-09 03:02:06 · update #1
Well, after reading everyone's response and some insults, i have just informed him that its over. I only hope Im able to go through with it, It hurts an awful lot. Thanks again for the reality check from all of you.
2007-02-09 03:39:10 · update #2
You know what you have to do. Dont be a home wrecker. Im sure his wife dont deserve that. You should of known from the beginning what you were getting yourself into. All I can say and break tie's completely. Dont matter how he feels for you the point is he is still using you. For sex,company,love,support whatever it may be in the clear he is using you. Dont you want better for yourself? If he is willing to divorce his wife and be with you then thats fine, because thats how life is. But if he is married and plans on never leaving her, stop wasting your time and heart on someone that will never be your someone. Good luck and I hope your heart doesnt get to broke. Tell him to leave the piece when he goes
2007-02-09 02:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by jdnsmama1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this your first time on this post? If so let me give you the best answer. Cut out this crap. How on earth can you possibly be in love with a person who is part time? You are not in love with this guy only your concept of him. You don't know him , not really. if you did you would be sexual with him and if that were the case you are a liar and a cheat. You really should make a decision to be married, forsaking all others, or give your husband some insuight into the the mind of the person he is with. Be honest with him about what is going on in your head and let him work it out with you ar throw you to the curb where you belong right now. there is NO EXCUSE for you hiding this from him any longer. Your behavior and longings for this other guy are despicable when viewed in terms of your husband who as YOU DESCRIBE as "wonderful". You also describe him as very close. How close is he really in your mind that you let this other bull crap get into your head? Answer this question, What has your husband done to deserve your attitude? If the answer is not much, you really must review your willingness to hurt him like you seem bent on doing. Karma will assure that you may not achive the happiness you think is out there because of the pain you inflict and the wrong you are doing. Perhaps the best advice was above, GROW UP.
2016-03-28 23:33:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to dump this guy and work on your marriage and home life with your husband. Seek counseling and help for you and this marriage. Tell that loser to go back to his wife. Since you are seperated and if you dont want the marriage anymore then file for divorce and once the divorce is final then date others BUT not until then. Run and dont just walk away from this guy. He does not love you at all he is just using you!!!! He has never even really loved his wife or his family for that matter. Neither of you know what real love is. What you are feelilng for each other is lust and you need to lose each other now!
2007-02-09 02:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Been where you are sweetie and its starts out so wonderful and fantasizing about being together and not a care in the world and all seems bright and wonderful BUT reality sets in and his childrens images flood your thinking and maybe even his wife about , does she know about the affair, I doubt it but may suspect something and what about if she found out , what would she do ? Would it hurt his children because his kids are his life???? Lots to think about . I weighed the odds and let the love of my life go and I'm sure his wife never knew about me and its best that way. My heart hurt sooo bad and I cried sooomuch missing him so very much but I feel it was for the best. Reality kept hitting me in the face about his kids and I knew it would destroy him to not see his kids like he does now and I really didn't want an instant second family especially that wild young one of his that I'd love to spank that I only saw at company get togethers. Anyway I told him I had to let him go and we said our goodbyes. I saw him a year later at the store where he works and he seemed so casual toward me and thought I had gotten married again which surprised me. He looked kinda withdrawn but was so glad to see me agin but I've moved on and haven't seen him in over a year but I still think about him because what we had so special but I loved him enough to let him go. I think he knew that also. At least I hope he did. Take care of you because no-one else will unless their the one for you. God Bless.
2007-02-09 02:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the reason u could not work on your marriage was that this man was present in your life. he has fixed it with the wife, maybe there was never any problems with the wife in the first place. u do need to let go of him, and try to mend your marriage if it was ever good. u have control over your choices, and things can go back just the way they were, it is your choice your life and u are accountable for the choices u make. up to u but how would u feel if u were his wife? he is using u my dear, and no good can ever come out of this, as it is just about lust.
2007-02-09 02:51:22 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As your name says Life Happens (to Losers) because live doesn't happen life is what you choose to make of it. (and it looks like you made some bad choices)
He will never leave his wife and even in the remote possibility that he does, he will eventually cheat on you.
The grass is not always greener and if it is it's probably the result of manure which is what you got yourself into.
You made a mistake, move on and don't make another one. Think of your kids and your ex-husband. Just because it didn't work out with him (after trying) doesn't mean you should break up another marriage.
2007-02-09 02:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is back with his family you have no choices but to suffer the consequences. I know that sounds harsh but he's being unfair to his wife and kids.
Since you can't turn the clock back, work on making better choices. There are some nice, respectful men out there that aren't married.
Know that you will never have this guy 100%. Even if he leaves his wife, you'd probably would have issues with trust. After all, you know he's capable of cheating. Good luck to you.
2007-02-09 02:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have nothing nice to say to a woman who threw away her family and expects her stud to do the same to his.
EDIT as for crazy,sexy,kool's assertion that "life takes you places" - this is your biggest problem - you are not taking responsibility for your actions. Life doesn't take you places. You take you places. You are a free thinking, deciding individual. Some things in life are chance, but bad decisions are bad decisions. You made bad decisions. They didn't "happen to you".
"Life happens" is NOT what happened in your case.
ANOTHER EDIT: anyone else find it funny how all these women are saying "oh honey I've been there" but if someone asks "ladies have you ever cheated on your husband?" most of these people say NO?????
ANOTHER edit: Yes we all make mistakes. But yours was a conscious mistake - you can't tell me you actually THOUGHT it was a good idea? I have never done anything that terrible to anyone.
2007-02-09 02:39:11 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are softheartedly letting him manipulate you into doing what he wants. Cut off contact with him. Get caller ID and block his calls, block his emails, burn his letters and don't let him come in if he comes knocking. Try and meet new (single) men, go out and enjoy your life and I guarantee you that in time, you will get over him.
And he, by the way, will get over you too, or find someone else to be his girl on the side. You probably won't be happier right away, but frankly you don't seem that full of delight now... and at least you won't have guilt to deal with.
2007-02-09 02:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by MissA 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is using you. He probably will not leave his wife- he probably really enjoys having the security of his marriage plus a little fun on the side.
Are you okay with being a part of something that is hurtful to his wife?
Do you understand that even if he did leave her, he wouldn't be any more faithful to you than he is to her?
Move on. You deserve better. If you cannot save your relationship with your husband, then it's better to be alone for a while than to be the "other woman" and to be with someone who doesn't respect you.
2007-02-09 03:06:34 · answer #10 · answered by Maggie E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋