I am kinda seeing this guy and before things go much further I want to find out if he's into drugs (because I'm not) and if we will be compatible in the bedroom. How do I breach these subjects without offending or making him think I am a sex maniac?
2007-02-09 02:33:13 · 6 answers · asked by Ronald 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am willing to compromise in the bedroom, but I don't want to "fall in love" with someone who isn't also willing to compromise. This is the question I want to know the answer to, so I don't set myself up for heartache.
2007-02-09 03:53:28 · update #1
Go out to a nice fondue restaurant, it is the perfect atmosphere for a great conversation and a great time. You will have plenty of time during dinner to cover a wide range of background information.
2007-02-09 02:42:00 · answer #1 · answered by unitedwestand7s 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Woah! He's only a "potential" boyfriend? Doncha think you're putting the cart before the horse here? Here's what you do...
Drugs: Ask him flat out. He'll respect the honest communication.
Sex: This is disturbing because it shouldn't matter yet. I assume you are wanting to know whether he's a top or bottom? So if he's not a switch hitter are you just not going to bother dating him? That would mean that in truth that you ARE all about the sex. What if he's your soulmate or whatever but he's not the top or bottom that you need. Would you be unwilling to compromise and learn to adapt for the good of the relationship? If not, you are missing out and have no business dating.
The solution is to date him and make sure you really like the guy before you get to that stage. If you have something good you will find a way to adapt no matter what curve ball you are thrown. If you don't like him, it never comes up. It's a win win.
Seriously, you are basically asking, "So are we going to be cool in bed or not because if not.... Sorry." That's a little shallow my dear.
2007-02-09 02:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by mufflerbearings1967 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think that if he was into drugs you would have already known it, or he would have asked you leading quesions about where you stood on the subject. there is nothing wrong with asking him if he ever gets or has gotten high. He probably wants to know where you stand on the subject also. As for the bedroom, why not just ask him what he likes or what he has done in the past. Find out if he plays safe in past relationships and what his expectations are for you. Asking a perfectly normal
question about sex should be a normal part of exploring a relationship. If you are just worried about who is top, bottom, or versatile, see mufflerbe's answer. I agree with his philosophy.
2007-02-09 02:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by Brent W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can broach the subject by being up-front and honest. He'll respect you for it in the long run. Tell him how you feel and that before things develop further you'd like to know his views on the topics you mentioned.
Receive his statements in a non-judgmental way, share your views IF he asks for them, and make plans for the future accordingly.
2007-02-09 03:21:52 · answer #4 · answered by Bobby Jim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him right up front and tell him your concerns. Nothing is ever accomplished by hiding. There are ways of broaching a subject politely without coming across as some sort of kook.
2007-02-09 02:48:17 · answer #5 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I love it when the experience is not 'enhanced' with drugs, it just feels more cosy and real...what do you think? I like to (let him) take charge and see genuine pleasure in his face. How about you?"
2007-02-09 02:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋