Does anyone have a family member who is dangerous to themselves and others?

Question

This was inspired by a question someone asked about suicide in the family.

My brother's wife (30 years old) is dangerous. She is a paranoid schizophrenic who does illegal drugs, drinks about 20 alcoholic drinks a day (I AM NOT KIDDING), and dissappears with her girlfriends for days at a time going to weekend-long parties and having sex with anyone she wants. My brother and her have 2 children, age 8 and 6.

They live in Ontario and there, unless there is physical violence the children will not be taken away from the mother. If my brother divorces her, she will get custody of the kids because the court system's attitude in Canada is that kids always need to be with their mother - even a crazy, coke-snorting alcholic mother. So he stays to protect and care for the kids.

I consider this behavior dangerous, but the law does not. I wish I could do something about this. Has anyone else dealt with anything like it?

She is unemployed - she can't work nobody will hire her. The few jobs she has had never last more than a week as she either shows up drunk, or has sex with someone, or gets in fights or does other crazy stuff.

My brother is a high school teacher and makes good money, but they are constantly broke because she blows all their money on drugs.

samwise I don't think you understand how liberal canada is. Drugs are not considered to be something that makes you unfit. She has been in the hospital for a cocaine overdose twice. There are police records of her drug use. They won't do anything. She could sing and dance in court about her being high and drunk and nobody would care.

Answer 1

There is no reason why she should gain custody of her children if they divorce, if there are tests done it will show she is a irresponsible mother, I don't think any court in their right mind would let children live with a mother who is abusing drugs and alcohol and can be easily proven with a blood test.
You cant have people put involuntarily into a psych ward unless they're very serious about hurting other or them selves (usually they have to even hurt others till doctors will even act) so I would tackle her on the drugs.
You need to ring a hospital and tell them the situation, tell them she has a mental disorder she is using illegal drugs and being very neglectful to her children and the husband cannot do much about it.
See if they can maybe get a social worker or have her committed as she is evidently doing to do harm to someone sooner or later the drugs will only make her schizophrenia worse along with the alcohol she is way too out of control you may even have to call the police.
The other option is have an intervention, talk to the whole family make sure they all know what is going on, drugs alcohol the children being neglected and the husband having no control over the situation. It has all gotten out of control and the family needs to make a decision to act, I would go for rehab as the best solution first or hospitalization (if you can get them to take her)
but rehab is something you may all have to do I don't see negotiating with her as an option.
I hope you find a way to get things sorted, it is horrible to children to have to grow up with a mother like this.

Answer 2

To prove her unfit he needs to set up hidden cameras and when she is drunk and high every single time make sure all the dates are on the camera.Hire a private investigater to follow her and video tape her partying and not home with her kids.She has medical records with her mental illness they can be shown in court if judge allows it.Then when he collects enough evidence he can really prove her unfit and kick her out of his and his chilren's life....He has to know that he can do it and be fully commited to taking alot of time trying to prove it then go talk to a lawyer and get advice if he has a chance at winning.....plus ask for a hair folical drug test once they get into the proceedings....it can be done

Answer 3

Maybe your brother should hire a private detective to document her erratic behavior. If she is doing illegal drugs, couldn't he have her arrested? Maybe tip off the cops when she is going to meet her dealer. Canada doesn't have any minor child endangerment laws? There has got to be something available to him. It's dangerous for the children to see this as they could get access to those drugs and hurt or kill themselves.

Answer 4

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