I'm going to take into consideration what most everyone said and not leave my husband. However I don't think him looking at porn while I'm away will be okay. I think if that's what he needs is the visual then I'll have to move outside my box and give it to him. Bottom line: my husband hasn't seen me naked since our son was born. Hate my body and I really don't want to show it off. However I want to save my marriage. Should I buy him flowers and take him to dinner tonight? I already got a sitter for the whole weekend.
2007-02-09 02:06:23 · 6 answers · asked by Angela M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont hate your body. It means you hate yourself and indicates a problem in the rejection department. Rejection of self has many causes and often comes from our childhood when someone has either abused one physically or said something that made you feel bad about your body. DOnt punish your husband for this. Men need to look and be turned on by women and you need to allow him to enjoy every bit of you (within reason of course). He should be allowed to admire you. He is not to blame for the past. You might not even be aware of what happened to you and suppressed the incident. Ask God to reveal it to you and get help. If you dont this spirit indwelling you and making you feel ashamed of your body will cause you divorce one day. You must not feel ashamed. God made you to be you and he accepts you as you are. So does your husband. Dont miss out on what could be so special and beautiful between the two of you. Give yourself to him unconditionally and allow your trust to build up in him. Trust God to heal your hurt, because it is there! I know I was like that too once. I got over it and we have an excellent marriage now! You are priceless, beautiful and special. Look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that.
God bless you and may things be restored to what they are meant to be.
2007-02-09 02:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously have low self esteem as you say you hate your body. Believe me we all have things about ourselves that we are not happy about, but l'm sure your husband loves you just the way you are. The only reason he has been looking at porn is probably due to the fact he has not been allowed to look at the real thing. Loosen up and learn to relax and love yourself, even just a little. He will appreciate it a lot l am sure. Yes l would take him out for a nice romantic dinner and show him how much you love him. You have a sitter for the whole week-end so make the most of it and enjoy yourselves. lt is probably all you need to rekindle the old flames. Relax, enjoy, explore each other and see what a difference it can make in your marriage. Best of luck and have a great week-end.
2007-02-09 03:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have issues you brought up here that tell more of the story.
Your husband is a human male. He hasn't seen your body in how long? Men (and women) have sexual needs. If the worst your husband has done is look at porn in frustration from your withholding yourself from him, consider yourself lucky.
I don't know what the deal is with your body. Very few women are perfect, and even fewer men demand their women be perfect. Your husband wants YOU. Sexiness is much more about behavior than looks.
You have a lot of work to do. I think you need to talk to a marriage counsellor about this. The problems you have described are problems with you, not him. I hope you can fix this.
Boink his brains out all weekend. Let him have his wife back. I'm sure he misses her.
2007-02-09 02:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes buy him a nice flower and a gift or flowers or something and take him out on the town. Get a nice hotel room with a jacuzzi in if if you have some extra money or when you get home take a bubble bath together and also give each other full body massages with massage or baby oil. this is fun and puts you in the mood. Buy some sexy lengerie for you and some nice sexy boxer shorts for him! You really should not hate your body but let him love your body and dont be ashamed of it. He obvioulsy loves you and wants to be with you. If you need to use low lights or candle light to make you feel better then do it. Hope this helps some and i wish you the best for tonight and always. Feed each other grapes or strawberries in bed too with lots of whipped cream:) You can even put creme on other parts of each others body and lick it off this is always fun. I love flavor!!!! have you guys tried sex toys or board games or anything like that? This stuff is fun too.
2007-02-09 02:28:23 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop hating your body. I understand what pregnancy does for you emotionally and physically, but your personality will make up for any issues you feel you have with your body. Buy some sexy lingerie or wake him up at 1am and jump him. he will appreciate it, if it doesnt spice things up, talk to him about it and see what the two of you can do together to bring the passion back that you once had. Don't give up on the marriage!!! And don't believe the "once a cheater, always a cheater crap that people right on here". This is just not true!!!
2007-02-09 02:38:56 · answer #5 · answered by finished 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a good idea, give yourselves time alone. good luck!
2007-02-09 02:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋