I have been married for 2 years, recently I found out that my husband had an affair from October to December, it appears he has stopped the affair but now I am always finding washcloths on the floor with the smell of semen and lotion hidden behind the computer, I also have found that he is going to a lot of porn sites early in the morning before I wake up. I dont know if this is normal, I mean is he doing this because he isnt cheating anymore or what? We have sex 4-5 times a week, he knows that if he comes through the door and says lets go that I will drop whatever im doing to give it to him, so why would he do this? I have offered to watch porn with him, we have a drawer full of toys we never use I just dont understand.
2007-02-09 01:57:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
Sounds like your bad in bed or you are just using the same old boring routine. For the affair part You should have thrown him outta of the house at the time. Once a cheater always a cheater.
Unless hes seriously wants you and realised he made a mistake and you forgive him. Thats up to you.. But it sounds like you need to add some spice to the love making with sexy dresses or foreplay or use the drawer of toys. or seek some couseling if that does not help.
2007-02-09 02:19:25 · answer #1 · answered by James S 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Because his sexual fantasies are an important part of his sex life. He can do all kinds of things in those fantasies that he can't, or won't, do with you. He may be working on bi-sexual or multiple partner fantasies, leather, bondage, scat, golden shower or any other number of fetish fantasies that he just doesn't feel comfortable sharing with you.
The fact that you still have a healthy sex life together is a sign of a healthy relationship. You should do two things:
1. Tell him if he has any interesting fantasies, you'd be willing to work on them together, and
2. Don't ever mention his masturbation time - it's his private relaxation, and it is not hurting your relationship, so leave it alone.
2007-02-09 12:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just fulfilling his own fantasy's... There is nothing wrong with him jacking off, as long as he is still having sex with you. As for the cheating part, you are a better person than I am, I would have kicked him to the curb. Just tell him to clean up after himself and don't sweat it. It's better that he's masturbating than cheating and it's not hurting anyone. Try to stimulate him in other ways and fulfill more of his dreams if you feel that your love life is stagnate... surprise him and do things completely different that should drive him wild. good luck!
2007-02-09 12:08:33 · answer #3 · answered by Jyse 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
San Diego - your husband has sexual fantasies that don't involve you. That's very common among guys. He used to deal with that in a destructive way, by having an affair with another woman. Now he deals with those urges in a constructive way, by masturbating.
Basically you have two choices - have your husband masturbate or have him have sex with another woman. Of those two, him jerking off sounds like a good option.
Just ask him to clean up after himself when he's done!!!
2007-02-09 10:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation is a very common behavior, even among people who have sexual relations with a partner. In one national study, 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated. Masturbation is the first sexual act experienced by most males and females. In young children, masturbation is a normal part of the growing child's exploration of his or her body. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.
2007-02-09 15:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by Komsat/sad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start a few new approaches he may like it or probably the man has a serious problem or it is his way of remenbering his past affairs which were better than what you are offering him.
2007-02-10 14:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by BLESSED 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can install NetDog Porn Filter on the computer,that help you to block all porn sites quitely in the background when he's surfing on the internet. http://www.netdogsoft.com
2007-02-10 03:50:20 · answer #7 · answered by beyondhelper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, HE has the problem, not you! Ask him why he is doing this and gauge his response. He may need more visual stimulation, have you tried dressing up? See if he has fantasies. Also, to be totally honest, if he cheated that early in your marriage, I would question if he took his vows seriously or not. Good luck sweetie!
2007-02-09 10:36:18 · answer #8 · answered by travel_girl_13 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree with total betty.hes a sex addict and he cant find anything to stimulate him.....not your fault. A lot of couples get divorced over this. Try to get counseling.
good luck
2007-02-09 12:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he prolly still cheatin on you . . . the best thing is to leave him 4 real 4 real he jus wants to make it seem lyk hes jus lookin @ porn but really hes off doin otha girls. . . . the porn n jerkin off is jus a cover up!
2007-02-09 11:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by mimi 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋