What do you think the secret to a long standing marriage is?

Question

I am interested in hearing from people who have been married to same person for minimum of 25years and up, or people who know or have parents, friends, etc. What's the secret?

Answer 1

My parents just celebrated their 35th Anniversary... here are some things I learned from them:

1) Put God at the center of the relationship
2) Always work together and talk things through
3) Never fight. Communicate clearly, but don't fight
4) Be willing to GIVE GIVE GIVE
5) Be focused on the OTHER person, not yourself
6) When dealing with children, be on the same page
7) Make sure you have your alone time... for my parents, it was right after dinner. We had to clean up the kitchen while they went to their room. I like to think all they did was talk... haha
8) Keep doing sweet little things... like Dad would write my Mom's initials in the snow, etc.
9) Make each other a priority over work, friends, fun, etc.
10) Pray together, serve God together, and raise your children in a Christ-centered environment.

I hope that helps. They're still going strong. :)

Answer 2

The secret is friendship if you and your partner are friends. there isn't anything you can't survive thru if that is what both partners want. Remember someone will give more than the other in relationships at least 75% of the time. You and your partner sometimes need change from your every day routine. Talk see if you both want the same life. I was married for 10 years and yes it could have worked if that's what i wanted but i didn't . Only he did. Always remember friendship and honesty is the key. Love isn't the only think that keeps a married together may help in enjoying sex better with love. Stay focus and never give up on yourself. Stay positive!!!! Learn to enjoy ever day life. Read Some of Joyce Meyers books . She is awesome for personal growth and marriage. It will help teach how to overcome obstacles no matter what the issue. I hope this helps. SAVE YOUR MARRIED

Answer 3

The secret is quite scary, honesty.
Most relationships can stay strong but never long standing with out honesty.
Many people will tell you things like:people change, people cheat, and people are greedy. Any relationship with honesty can survive these great challenges. All people change as they age, but they can change while still being honest with their partners and themselves. Cheating never really made sense to me, but if someone where to want to stray its because something has been lost in their relationship - typically the person cheating has lost interest in the love their partner shares. Greediness, it overcomes a lot of people. Money and the thought of being "wanted or needed" can make many people become greedy but the love and hard work that goes into a good long lasting marriage/relationship makes you realize its not worth loosing your "soul mate".
I am young but have watched and learned from the relationships around me. My mom calls me "her Dr.Phil"
I truly believe that if you don't have honesty then you don't have all the other wonderful things that follow it, which are happiness, health, a good love life, and a strong family.
I hope this small bit of my own thoughts helps you find the secret you are looking for! :) Good Luck & Best Wishes!

Answer 4

I truly believe the things that are the most important in a relationship are:

Trust
Communication
Respect
Not sweating the little things
Honesty
And just being who you are.

Trust b/c if you don't have that then you will always be on your toes wondering what the other person is doing.
I know for myself I trust my partner to the utmost, I don't fear him cheating on me, lying to me, nothing and that has got to be one of the best feeling in the world.

Communication is one of the biggest keys if you ask me. The way I look at this one is, when you both in your 70 what really are you going to do but talk. You can’t have a marriage without being able to talk to the other person and express yourself in every aspect.

Respecting each others boundaries is very important as well as just respecting each other.

What I mean about don't sweat the little things is that there is always going to be things that others do that are going to bother you. Some may need to be changed, some you work on to come to an understanding together, and other just let them go it’s not worth fighting over.

Honesty- Lies only hurt and make more problems then needed. Be honest about how your feeling, you thoughts, your understanding of things, things you like and don't like, things that bother you, things that you need in your life and things that you would like, etc...

Most of all just be who you are b/c if you try to hide it one day it will come out and the other person may not understand or even like that.

I did that once b4, I tried to make myself who I thought he wanted me to be and at the end of it. I hated myself for doing it, I hated everything I had become, and over time started to lose who I was. Never again will I do something so stupid, it’s so not worth it.

Answer 5

Marrying the right person for starters.

You have to be willing to give as much as you take and then a little bit more. Your partner has to be willing to do the same.

Trust is huge. My husband is my best friend and confidant. I can tell him anything and he never flinches. He can tell me anything and I still love him.

Honesty. We tell each other when we are wrong, We admit it when the other person is right.

We always share at least one hobby and then we each have our own things we like to do. We give each other space to grow as an individual and as a couple.

We both do special little things that we know will make the other smile and feel good about themselves. Neither of us cares about remembering birthdays and anniversary... we know we will forget so why make it an issue that will create hurt?

We fight now and then - but not for long - then we kiss and make up. We do not go to bed angry. EVER.

We don't let other peoples poor relationships seep into ours. Everyone has their problems and they can keep them.

When there is a problem we turn to each other - not other people. Together, we get it worked out.

Neither of us are quitters. :D

Answer 6

My wife's parents were married for 55 years when her Dad passed away. I asked him once what the secret was and he said it was commitment and unconditional love for each other. He also said that being able to forgive each other and move on was key. I think if more people would take their marriage vows seriously, there would be a lot less divorce.

Answer 7

My mom & dad were married for 50yrs and I have been married now for 5yrs.I believe the secret to a long marriage is TRUST and Committment.If you trust your spouse you will last forever.You have to beable to communicate and talk about anything & everything you must also have respect,compassion,and alway's be dependable.And ofcourse unconditional love.

Answer 8

Open communication. Trust in each other. Try not to go to bed with any unresolved issues, you won't sleep anyhow...talk. Don't use phrases like "you make me feel" , instead say " feel bad because..." The first 10 years were the hardest for me. I got through them and now I know in my heart I made the right commitment.

Answer 9

The secret for a long lasting marriage is trust, respect, and honesty. that's what i think a long lasting marriage is all about because if you don't have those things in your marriage than you really don't have nothing at all.

Answer 10

I think the key a marriage lasting is understanding that people change they grow up , their opinion on things change , their needs change and if you love that person and they love you these changes wont be the end of a marriage, they will strengthen it .