Okay, so I am 7 months pregnant with our (my husband and me) first baby.... my family and his family are really excited! But..... We have a dilemma going on about who gets to be in the room when I am delievering the baby. See, my mom and me are like siamese twins, best friends, like sisters and we are all we have ever had, its always been just us two. Then his mom and my mom are two different people, so they are "okay" with each other and to me she is just a typical mother in law, some days i like her some days i hate her. anyways, here is my question..... I have ALWAYS said i wanted only my mom and husband in the room while i am having the baby, I'm not real comfortable with a lot people looking at my "area" while a baby comes out! So, anyways, he says that if my mom gets to be in the room, then his mother should be able to go too, but i dont agree.... its my "junk" spread wide open and my mother! it should be who i am comfortable with. What should I do? let her too or just my hubby?
2007-02-09 00:55:40 · 10 answers · asked by yahoocraze 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Like today we are going for a 4D ultrasound that my mom thought of and is paying for us to get, and like i said my mom and his mom don't get along at most times, well i just found out that he invitied his mom, I wasn't really happy with this, because this was a special event/gift from my mom that she wanted to do for us herself, i KNOW some type of "drama" will go on... even at the 2D ultrasound, they got "into" it..... drama drama drama... haha
2007-02-09 00:59:14 · update #1
I feel like I am being selffish, because this is his first child and probably wants to share the moment with his mom too.....
2007-02-09 01:05:17 · update #2
Do whatever you feel comfortable with. you also could have his mother in there just so you have somebody to yell at. Ha! Ha!
2007-02-09 02:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by kc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just gave birth 4 months ago and you have the exact same dilema as i had. This is your first baby, it should be special. If you don't want his mom in the room, then she shouldn't be. I wasn't having it with my mother-n-law. She made my blood pressure go up and that was the reason i had my daughter early. No matter how natural people think giving birth is , it's not in all aspects. You're going to be exposed. If you don't want her looking at your privates she should just wait in the waiting room. Explain to your husband how special it would be with just the people you feel comfortable with, if he still insists on his mom being present you can talk to your doctor ahead of time and tell her who you want in the room during delivery. When the day comes the nurses will tell whoever you don't want in the room to step out. The best thing is your husband won't know you requested it. The doctor can make it seem like only 2 people were allowed during the birth. After your husband sees his baby for the first time he'll get over it. CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-09 09:14:11 · answer #2 · answered by favcoredb05 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok honey, first things first. The last thing you need is any kind of drama in the delivery room. You will need to be 100% focused on the task at hand and not worried whose going to start the screaming match. You must be completely relaxed and ready to do the hardest work you have ever done in your life. My mother passed away when I was pregnant with my second child and I would have given anything to have had her there. Daughters have a womanly bond with their mothers that men don't often understand. My mother and I were 2 peas in a pod, and I have been lost with out her, but would die myself before I would even attempt any type of bond with my mother in law. I understand exactly how you feel, and it is completly up to you and only you. Tell your husband that it is your a** up in the air not his and you will choose who you want to see and who you don't. I don't think you are asking too much of him, he should understand.
2007-02-09 09:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by tlc4irs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I would allow both your husband and your mother in the delivery room. They are the people you are comfortable with. My wife has given me three children, and I would do anything for her -- she has never wanted anyone in the delivery room other than me, but I would understand if she wanted someone else too. As for my mother, I wouldn't want her there unless my wife wanted her there. And I would hope that my mother wouldn't show up there if my wife let it be known that she didn't want her there.
In short, your husband should do whatever it takes to make you comfortable in the delivery room. If that means having your mother, and not his, that is what he should agree to. Birth is not a situation where you need to make sure your husband is comfortable; it is supposed to work the other way around.
2007-02-09 10:37:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not about your mother in law. This is about you and the start of your new family. If your husband can not understand that you are not comfortable with her being in there, just tell him he can stay out too. You need to be concerned only with labor and the health of your child at that point. Good luck! It's your decision, and the doctor's will respect it even if your husband says differently.
2007-02-09 09:21:30 · answer #5 · answered by sherry s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just the same way, I wanted my husband and my mom in there when I was having my daughter, however when I went into labor, my mom, husband and mother in law were in the room when I delivered. It did not bother me after the fact and she was up by my head the whole time and she was so happy to be in there. That I'm glad it turned out the way it did. Good luck with your decision and I hope you enjoy your ultrasound today the 4d is so neat!!! I had one done 4 weeks ago
2007-02-09 09:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by jgurl1979 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd explain to hubby this is YOUR time. YOU should be comfortable and happy with the evironment and the people in it while giving birth. If you don't want his mom in the room, tell her you're sorry but you just want your hubby and mom there. If she can't understand that, she's not a very compassionate person. Besides, any girl would want her mom in the room, it's a soothing thing.
2007-02-09 09:01:43 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This should be a special time for you and your husband. Cut your umbilical cord with your mother since you are about to have a child of your own.
Since the Mothers can't get along and you don't want them both in the room, you should have just your husband in the delivery with you.
2007-02-09 09:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think you better decide before you have the baby. i had my mom and husband in the room when i had my 3rd child, and i was very distracting. i think only one should be in there.
2007-02-09 09:00:03 · answer #9 · answered by pokey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO WHATEVER YOU THINK IS RIGHT
ITS WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE THERE
2007-02-09 09:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋