Me and my husband got a very good relationship.But bcz of my brother/mother/sister-in-law sometimes the relation got worst.We r not that much solvent.But days r passing nicely.But my husbands family wants money from my husband frequently.i dont like this at all.but previously i never said anythg to my him.My brother in law is a dishonest man.he took lots of money from us by chitting.My husband is a very polite man.He cant say NO to anythg.This time,when last week my brother in law asked money from my husband,i felt very angry.I told him,i am not happy that he is giving my to his family whereas he got no savings.he didnt talk abt this matter that time.then I mailed him abt the history of dishonesty about his brother.And told him to answer me what he thinks.He didnt replied my mail.I felt insulted.I mailed him several times regarding this but he just neglected the matter.Now i am feeling very upset abt this?.At home he also dont talk to me abt this.our relation is getting worst.
2007-02-08 23:41:22 · 10 answers · asked by angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You said your husband has no savings and is using your money, well don't let him. My husband and myself have a joint account to pay bills, and nothing extra is kept in it, then we each have our own accounts for spending money. We started this because I don't like the idea of us buying gifts for eachother using the others money. Maybe you should think about doing something like this. If you kept you savings in your own account then your husband can't take it. Perhaps he doesn't care because there always seems to be money there, and if it is not paid back that is fine because again you guys can afford it. That may not be true, but while he is giving away your money it has no effect on him. Tell him verbally how you feel and that this is what you are planning to do. Then he can lend out all he wants with his savings. No reason to discuss it with him so if he has no response then who cares.
If borrowing the money (which will be much less after you do that)
still bothers you then start to enmabarrass the brother. Confront him outright about what he owes you and every thime he borrows it. I would even mention it in front of others how you are worried that he is unable to support himself, it is a shame that he has to turn to you and your husband for financial support because he can't make it. Go after his "manhood" and embarrass him. If he won't stop because you ask him to, attack him where it will hurt. There is a reason that he only turns to you and your husband and not others, find out why and maybe others will start to talk to your husband also. He just may listen to them.
2007-02-09 00:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by w2kaad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without exception no person has the right to belittle another person or treat them in a disrespectful manner. Abuse is an escalating act that progresses to very serious encounters, even fatalities. Your friend is in harms way, without support or recourse. The husband and his relatives come as a package, and can't be separated. Together they will use tactics to break her will and spirit. She'll not be able to make or suggest alternatives. Hopelessness will turn to despair, and finally submission. A puppet, methodically responding to every command. Fortunately it has not reached that level yet, with prompt action she can be spared a life of humiliation. She will need all the support she can get in living accommodation and financial help. She must terminate her relationship with the husband and his relatives, and live with friends or relatives. She will need a constant companion for the first week to keep her mind focused in directions other than her last ordeal. Her husband is mentally unstable, but very conniving, she must not speak to him. Instead write him a letter explaining the decision to abandon the marriage. It is not an easy thing to do, but life is precious and every attempt must be made to live it to the most productive and pleasurable way possible. It's only a failure if you let it be. Good Luck - God Bless
2016-03-28 23:23:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say if you have a job or not. If you don't - then get one and start putting your money away in a seperate account in your name only.
Save up enough to get a good start away from him and leave.
He is not going to change and if you are already wanting revenge then it's over anyway. Go out and find someone to be happy with and get to know them better - especially the family relationships.
Your husband giving his family money is something that was going on before you met him and it will continue until the day he dies. It is just a part of his life. Live with it or leave.
2007-02-09 00:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by Collette L 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seeking revenge will not solve anything but will probably make things worse. Instead of trying to convince your husband that his brother is evil, why not take the approach that it is hurting you and your family financially and that's what upsets you. I think you need to talk with your husband and tell him that you would be fine with helping family financially if you 2 were more financially secure. He may respond better to this. I know I would.
2007-02-09 02:40:10 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering it's your money too, I feel you should get a say in where it goes. Your hubby is probably thinking that as he said yes before, he can't turn around and say no. Just to keep the peace. Don't lay into him, just keep it cool and calm, because chances are, he's probably quite cut up about this but doesn't want to show any of that because he's the man of the house. He wants you to know he has everything under control!
And mizzgrizz01: get a life! You divorced your husband because of something as minor as that?! You poor woman.
2007-02-09 00:00:53 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs Stevo 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My husband did some of the same things. I talked to him about it and told him that he was putting others before his family. He stopped for a little wile then started to do it again. I talked to him again. It didn't work. I got a divorce from him...7 years later..he regrets it..because he sees how happy I am without him.
2007-02-08 23:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by mizzgrizz01 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Revenge is not your answer ask yourself is your husband taking money that should be for sustenence and basic needs and giving it away if so that is a problem if not giving to the needy is a good thing
2007-02-08 23:50:54 · answer #7 · answered by shahid b 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband you have no intentions of anyone putting you and him in the poor house and if he keeps giving away hs money, that's exactly what will happen. From now on, he needs to direct these requests to you and let you handle telling these people no.
2007-02-08 23:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Open your own bank account just in your name.Don't let your husband have access to it, then tell him why you did it. Your money is for the two of you and not them.
2007-02-09 02:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit him down and make him listen, if he is using your money, without consulting you, put a stop to it, and tell him you will no loger have a joint account if you have one, as it isnt right that his family are using your partner, or indeed that its your money. make a stand and stick to it.
2007-02-09 02:23:22 · answer #10 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋