To make someone realise what your value should you stay away from them for some time so that they miss you?

Question

I am a married 27 guy,I have a very close cousin sister. We are best friends and she is 11 years younger to me at 16. We have been best of siblings. I call her everyday and we talk for a long time about everything. It is always me who calls her and I call her
without fail. I just cant stay away from her since i care abt her so much as a younger sister and child.Lately for the last 6 months, she has been different. She has taken me for granted. She does not show love and affection as she used to earlier. When i ask her
why she has been indifferent lately, she says " my family will always be there for me, i can take you for granted all the time, and right now my friends are more impt to me" i have been around for her always but lately she acts as if she doesnt care abt me at all.
I am wondering if i should stay away from her for a while? In life is it necessary to stay away from people you love,some times so that they realise what u mean to them? and hope she misses me and values me?

Should i not talk to her for a few weeks, so that she realises my value as a friend,brother and cousin and doesnt take me for granted?

I feel bad when I make sooo much effort to be with her all the time and care for her, but she acts indifferent suddenly.....possibly her teenage days getting to her....but i want her to realise that i am one of her most loved ones.

What do i do? Yelling at her hasnt worked at all :-(

i am also scared that if i dont call her and dont stay in touch, we will drift apart as siblings, but that seems to be the only way out ? i have tried pushing her to be caring and loving, but the more i try the more rebellious she is....... I have been calling her everyday for the last 3 years, and she has taken me for granted and thinks i will always be around and so doesnt show any concern now...probably since she is in teenage now and rebellious.......but i dont want her to drift away if i stop calling her....but that seems the only way out? worth trying?

:-) i forgot she turned 17 a few months ago , i still think of her as a kid !

Answer 1

She is still young. At her age, friends are the most important thing. It took me 25 years, and a lot of trouble to realize that my family is the most important thing in my life. I'm kicking myself for not appreciating them earlier.

Although difficult, explain to her that you will be there for her if she needs you. Maybe still keep in touch, but only once a week or so, maybe email every few days. Maybe set up a "get-together", like a brunch or something once every couple of weeks. Keep her close but don't smother her. If she finds trouble, it will be easier for her to come to you if you haven't been a stranger (by not talking with her). But in the meantime, even if you do call and email, you will be keeping touch, even if it does seem one-sided.

She's lucky to have you, I wish I had my brothers closer when I was growing up. But I realized their value eventually, and so will your cousin. Be there for her, help her if she needs it, and she will come around one day. Don't abandon her to "test" her relationship with you. She's too young to understand, and may fall into the wrong scenarios trying to "prove" she doesn't need you. Just take a backseat, and keep close tabs. She'll thank you for it later. Good luck, my heart goes out to you two. :)

Answer 2

Yeah, by all means go for it. Don´t call her so much. When you talk, don´t show so much concern. If she asks, tell her that you love her but you want what is best for her. You said she is a teenager. Around that point in somebody´s life, there are a lot of changes. Take care. Love and respect. Over and out. Roger (Wilco).

Answer 3

it sounds like she is growing up and making her own life

you are married for god sakes and she is a child yet

be the grown up let her live her life
she will come around
you have to remember you were 16 once remember how you were
get over it she is just sprouting her wings

let her be she will come around

Answer 4

i think a married guy has more responsibilities than hovering over a cousinb. every relationship has a line.i am afraid ur crossing it. she is wise enough. she has a life.she needs to make new friends.it is best to let her be before this turns obsessive.it is ur poor wife who needs all your attention.