what are morbid bleak thoughts a real symptom of?

Question

as well as racing thoughts which race through my brain constantly that cause me to forget what i was thinking about and make me feel jumbled up& disorganised. i have real scary morbid thoughts all the time, about horrific scenarios that could happen to me..or just the feeling im trapped in my situation & ill never be able to get myself out of it..im scared to go to bed sometimes and sleep because i have horrible nightmares.& i end up waking up in the dark of my room, scared & terrified to go back to sleep. i hve flashbacks to traumatic times in my life that are very painfull. the walls of my flat feel like their closing in on me sometimes, i live in a small flat on my own & the majority of the time i feel ' acutley 'alone & isolated. i have incredable anxiety constantly & have socially isolated myself. ive not been out for 3 weeks. i also used 2 have a poblem with losing my rage in public & just before an attack i would feel like im going into a trans & would strare at people & wouldnt

be able to snap out of it..and than just impulsevly explode, and want to lash out at people so as well as my anxiety feelings. this is what makes me scared to go out incase i lose control again..i also when out to would have paranoid feelings like all eyes are on me, like everyone new who i was, and i wouldnt be able to shake these feelings, this also used to happen just before i exploded with abandonment and rage in public....i constantly have low morbid moods locked away alone in my flat and feel intensly isolated, with horror type thoughts running through my head, im awaiting a second opinion because i was unhappy with the last diagnosis of a personality disorder where the psychiatrist also thought, i wasnt psychotic or depressed and didnt need medication i was extremely unhappy with this opinion as i think something, mental illness wise is wrong with me...what could be wrong with me, does anyone no what these symptoms mean or represent? as im worried i wont be able to get better

thoughts and horrible scenarios constantly run through my mind that seriously scare me, and my life feels like its closing in on me. horrific films i remember seeing to run through my mind. and freak me out. this is just some of the ones:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LG_-QsMtvSo

i want to find somebody to love. a nice girl. to achieve good employment. live in a nice home and emmegrate from england. but my minds tormented that i cannot achieve this.and this will never happen...im presently living alone in my one bedroom flat in the north west of the uk, on a council estate..and this is not where i wanna be...the picture in my mind is one of living in nice surroundings, emmegration to canada, living with somebody nice...but im terrified i cant achieve this and wont

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX_G8Ruge7g

omg help, i cant take this in my head!!

when your isolated and shut in, in a small dark flat.these intense morbid thoughts and images about my life can be unbelievably scary!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0J3NS9DHTU
i cant take it..how can i stop this intensity..can i ever escape this torment

Answer 1

if you could write so much about it
4 me u can become the doctor of it your self
face your fears this is the best way to over come them

Answer 2

Hello there my friend,

Firstly do not panic. There are other people you have very similar feelings and reactions as you are having. What you describe ticks a lot of boxes for borderline personality disorder or Bipolar. There are mental disorders.

This does not mean that you are mental, but merely means that you have a mental disorder. It can and will be a very difficult thing to deal with all your life as you are experiencing at the moment BUT on a positive note is a very very treatable !!!

A simply drug called mood stabilisoers (prescribed by your pycologiest) will help you control the situation better and also help the nightmares disappear and your self control return. A mental disorder does not dictate who you are but what you have.

You could be the most loving, caring, beautiful person and that is WHO you are, but the mental disorder will make you react in a different way than your own personality would. The drugs help the YOU be in control and not the disorder which you may have.

Firstly don't be frightened, embarrassed or afraid of what you may have but go talk to your doctor and things will start to get a lot better and very fast. 2% of the population of mental disorders it is very very common indeed. You obviously want to make changes by writing this question so that is half the battle. You are solely responsible for 100% of your actions, but it could be a mental disorder which is taking control, which you are also responsible for. So take this responsibility and go to see your doctor and get yourself better.

Much love and good luck the future is all good for you, just start to take control of your future with the help of professionals x x

Answer 3

So sorry that you are going through such bleak times, whilst I am not qualified (educationally) to offer a diagnosis, I can speak from experience, (identical to your own), night terrors, panic attacks and utter futility, I went to college (evenings) and did counselling level 1 and 11, it helped me understand and cope, If there has been tragedy or hard times in your past do not berate yourself for feeling the way you do it is a natural and justified reaction and anyone walking in your shoes would feel the same. Life does get better, sometimes what they say about hitting rock bottom is true, when you hit the bottom there is something to give you the impetuous to bounce back up, rather that look at how or where you have failed realise that you are a survivor to have come this far and see yourself as a survivor. All my very best wishes, thinking of you in your time of need. Mia

Answer 4

Unfortunately, many mental disorders often co-exist. This makes getting help harder. At first, it seemed to me that you have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The major sign of GAD is anxiety about multiple areas of your life. When GAD occurs it is very likely that something else is wrong too. Often GAD causes depression, but you don't seem to have the major symptoms of depression. You seem paranoid instead. It seems like you also have a Panic Disorder. It causes you to avoid circumstances that you think might cause you to have your next panic attack. GAD seems to go with Panic Disorder in your case. Less common mental disorders are schizophrenia and post traumatic stress disorder. I wish I knew more about post traumatic stress disorder. It is occuring more often these days. Have you been in a war? Even if you haven't, you should find out if you have it. The nightmares may be a symptom of post tramatic stress disorder. With GAD most people probably can't even get to the point in sleep where they can dream like that. Your psychiatrist sounds terrible. Maybe you should try another psychiatrist or a psychologist. Mental health professionals vary a lot in their abilities to deal with particular mental problems. Some are better with GAD than others. They tend to have special areas of expertise. They don't know everything. You need to do your research. I think that you may benefit from seeing a therapist that can desensitize you. Such therapy can control panic and worry. You need to learn that the things you think will hurt you aren't likely to.

Answer 5

I have no doubt whatsoever.
You are lonely & looking for the answer to that
(that's why your brain is going into overtime).
You also have a keen imagination
& due to boredom you are testing & allowing your brain to play tricks. (That's not healthy / good / advisable. Puts too much strain on you).
End lonliness by finding & making at least one good friend...
Not hard to do if you take the anxiety out of your situation
& logically put yourself where you can meet people.
Overcome shyness by not caring too much what others think of you.
& CALM DOWN.
Or you risk being classified as a dangerous loner.
Perhaps get therapy so you know how to deal with feelings of rejection (which conflict with your strong desire to make friends).

& check what you eat before bedtime.
Some foods cause nightmares.
Before you go to sleep, ask your brain what you want to dream about & instruct your brain not to have those horrible nightmares again cos you're sick of them. Doing that works, it's just a matter of training yourself.
Loosen up! There are a lot of uncaring people but don't concentrate your feelings on them or you'll be consumed with bitter hatred. Instead, focus on soothing things, that fill your heart & mind with LOVE.
You can turn your life around.
Think of that drawing by Michael Angelo - of God pushing away the darkness to help the light. (Do an Image search).
It sounds like hell, how you are suffering,
so steer yourself towards pursuits that make you feel good about life & better inside.
I wish you all the very best.
God bless

Answer 6

You sound very desperate, and I agree with Laundry Goddess that you need to have some professional support. Please ask for an emergency appoinment with your doctor, or contact the community mental health team at your nearest general hospital. You have mentioned traumatic, painful events in your past, and it may be that you are needing some help to come to terms with what has happened to you. I hope your appoinment for a second opinion comes soon, but in the meantime, it is not helpful for you to be so isolated. Another option is to phone the Samaritans on 0845 7909090. Many people think that the Samaritans are only there for people who are having suicidal thoughts, but this is not true. They are there for anyone feeling isolated and vulnerable, as you are.

Answer 7

There *could* be some psychological reason for thinking this way, but it could also be that your thinking is stuck in a negative loop - the more you think about it, the worse you become and you think about it even more.

There's a couple of ways of breaking out of this cycle - try physical exercise like a walk or run to take your mind off things, to get you out of the house, and to give a sense that you've done something positive during the day.

Alternatively, read some books on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to help find a way of breaking out of this cycle.

Answer 8

Go and see your doctor. It sounds like Panic Attacks or Panic Disorder.

Panic attacks are not always indicative of a mental disorder, and up to 10 percent of otherwise healthy people experience an isolated panic attack per year .

Panic disorder is diagnosed when a person has experienced at least two unexpected panic attacks and develops persistent concern or worry about having further attacks or changes his or her behavior to avoid or minimize such attacks.

Answer 9

It is not the average person that feels this way. I would suggest you see your doctor. It may be a chemical imbalance in your system or you might need a bit of counselling to find the answer. There is no online, quick answer to your question. You need to get a bit of help.

Answer 10

You have nothing better to do.
Think and do something else than thinking about morbid stuff all the time. Get a hobby or something to take your mind off it. Something, Anything.