My friend is depressed?

Question

My best friend is depressed. We recently went on holidays and she was in a bad mood the entire time. I came back exshausted and upset. It has been difficult coping with this at the moment as both my grandmothers have recently passed away. Also I am constantly tired and I think I may be anemic. How should I deal with her? any advise would be fantastic!!!!

I am going out of my way to put up with it all. I also researched depression so I understood it more. And Im trying to do as much as possible to do things with her like go to the movies and stuff! It is just so tiering and somtimes I do get annoyed (not that I let har know) just the way she speaks to me it dosn't seem like she appreciates it or even respects me anymore which also upsets me a fair bit!

sorry!! I should also add that she has been previously hospitalised for this and is reguarly seeing a Psychologist and is on medication.

Answer 1

depression is really hard to get over. it takes a really long time, and you as her best friend have a lot of the burden. what you must do is try to live your lives normally, as if everything was ok. I know this is not possible, but as close to normal as possible. She must will herself to feel fine, not think about things so much. Depression is a hard thing because it is an outlook on life. It is her view of everything, and everything seems wrong to her. Nothing is worthwhile, she feels desperate and cold. What you do, is you learn to sort of "ignore" feelings of loneliness or desperation. You choose to be optimistic (this is the depressed person, not you.) What YOU need to do is keep supporting her. I know it is tough, but you are giving her the most wonderful and precious gift anyone could ever give by dedicating your attention and time and love to her. Just be understanding, and be a constant. Let her know that you are a constant in her life, that you won't go away, and that she will always have your support. be with her when you can. just your presence helps her; the feeling that you are there in case she is ready to say something. you are so important in this, even if she may make you feel like you are not, EVEN if she may not realize how important you are, you really really really are.

I take my hat off to you, for your care and patience and especially your endurance after the loss of your grandparents.
kind regards, and my sincere best wishes for you and your friend
nam

EDIT: i just realized something else. You are indeed very important in helping your friend get better, but don't overburden yourself. In the end, she is the one who must make the choice to really get better. she must make the choice to make the very big effort to return to a normal life. It takes a lot of will power, in addition to attention (both medical and from family and friends.). I have also found, from experience, that when someone feels depressed, it is in fact really good for them to help other people with their problems. It starts putting things back in perspective for them, takes their focus off their own problems a little bit, and yet at the same time helps them think and talk through their own experiences. Connection with other people is what they really need. They need to feel that there is someone that really, truly understands them. You are both friends. You are her best friend and she is yours. Talk with her about your own penances, take her mind's focus off of her self for a bit, and help your own well-being.
anyway, I hope this helped.
kind regards.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU CONSIDER SUICIDE!!!!!!!! That is NEVER an answer, I know because my dad did that when I was a little girl. I don't know if you go to church or not, but that's a good place to find nice friends. Honey I'm an older lady now and I've had about five people in my life that I would call great friends. The rest like you say are fake. Friends are found in some unexpected places. I bet there are a lot of lonely young people in New York that would love to have you for a friend. You need to get off the computer and go take a walk in the park. Dump the people that treat you badly. Today is the first day of the rest of your life so GO YOUNG MAN!!!! I do care and I'll be praying for you Sweetie.

Answer 3

Get yourself some Iron Tablets take a nice deep Breath and relax.I know your holiday was a bit ruined and even though your friend is depressed and she probably realizes her illness put the dampeners on your holiday.Think positively as one day when her illness subsides she may repay the favor of your holiday by treating you to one.You seem like a really caring friend at least your still there for her that's better than any holiday.My mum suffered from depression and sometimes i felt like closing the door and never contacting her again but if the shoe was on the other foot would you want a great friend?The bad mood is part of her illness not apart of her.Chin up im sure you'll be fine there are support groups out there to give the friends and family advice on supporting depression suffers these may help. Claire

Answer 4

I've been in a similar situation with a friend but it was her drinking that was driving me mad. It seems that you are doing all you can to be there for her and that's all you can do. Its sad to say but she probably is taking your friendship for grated and doesn't think twice about it. Look, I'm not saying stop calling her or hanging out with her, I just think you need to take a step back and remember the real person you are not taking care of at the moment...YOU. If your health and state of mind isn't up to par then how can you be there for your friend. You just lost two important people in your life and you haven't had the time to grieve, that's just not right. Shame on your friend for not helping you. If she is getting professional help and its not working then honestly, what can you do that's any different? Get some YOU time in immediately and some real R&R, you need it. I'm sorry about your lost. Take it easy and good luck to you.

Answer 5

this seems like a very stressfulll thing to go through, but you have to understand that you have to give her alot of attention. she may not seem like she wants or needs it but she really does. maybe she just doesnt want to be forced out of her house, you should play a game of cards with her in her room, and if she doesnt like that then just sit down and have a nice talk with her. it might start off rough at first, but dont run, just stay in there and keep tlking to her. trust me the more friends that she has to tlk to, the more she will get off her chest. She needs to tlk about it. COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY!!! lol. thats what everyone says right, well it turns out that it is true. the more you cry the better you feel. let her cry on your shoulder, tell her that everything will be ok. she needs your support right now trust me i went through the exact same thing she did. my dad died when i was 12 and can you imagine losing your father at the age of 12, trust me i was depressed.
oh and the only way that you are going to b able to help her is if you are awake, so get some sleep and relax, it will b ok.

sincerely,
annonymous girl<<3

Answer 6

My friend is also depressed. Her parents aren't very supportive and she was recently raped. I found a way to help her though. I told her that God only tests people he likes. She also thinks that she caused two of her dearest friends deaths. She said 'if God takes away people I love then I don't want to be tested'. I didn't fill her with the 'God needed another angel' stuff. I told her that her friend is resting from the trauma of being dumped by her boyfriend. I also told her to find the positive in everything. And that got us talking about her crush and her new kids. She said they are her happiness. Try and find the good in everything. It helped her and it also helped me

Answer 7

It seems to me you are doing all you really can for her. from a friends stand anyway, like someone else i think said, it really is in HER and her therapists hands now, there really isnt much YOU can do to change that fact. If shes on meds, thats at least a start, just be there for her and if it gets to much let her know in a gentle way. If you need someone to TALK to, and just vent you can give me a holler, ill listen to ya. artchic1984

Answer 8

I don't think she's trying to get on your nerves. She really just isn't herself right now. I know it's hard to deal with, but you have to balance between being her friend and not letting yourself get depressed in the process. Just hang in there and you both should be fine. I'm just an IM or email away if either of you need to talk. I have depression and various forms of anxiety, so I know how it is.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Try talking and letting her know you care and that your there for her. If she gets worse go with her to get help. Counselor or doctor. Even your pastor or someone like that. Depression can really get bad and if you think no one cares than why should you. I know you care cause you are asking the question for a friend. Don't wait.

Answer 10

You should try to understand your friend. Always be there for her. You know, real friends share their sorrows. I know that life is so hard and short but try to be open to others and you will realize that your not the saddest person in the world. You can listen to the song "ALL WE NEED" by "SPONGECOLA". This song will truly inspire you and your friend.