How can I tell them to leave us for a while?

Question

I am due to have a baby on the 6th May and My fiancee and I have discussed the fact that we would like the first week or so just to ourselves to get to know our little one (our first born) and get used to being parents (and recover!). We really don't want to upset our friends and family (for his family it will be the first Grandchild, Great Grandchild, Neice/Nephew etc) but we anticipate that as soon as I get out of hospital there will be an endless stream of visitors. I am happy for them to visit me in hospital as my parents will be travelling 157 miles when I give birth but they have insisted they want to leave when I come out of Hospital and come back 2 weeks later when my fiancee has returned to work to help me out(they understand completely how we feel) so it really is just his family we need to discuss this with and friends. Are we being rude or did anyone else feel this way? Any advice would be great esp if you have any ideas on how we go about talking to them.

Thanks for the support everyone - I was nervous it was just us that felt this way!

Answer 1

Let everyone know NOW. That way hopefully feelings won't get stepped on later.

Answer 2

You probably dont really want an endless stream of visitors in hospital either, from my experience, next time I am going to limit visitors in the hospital to only visiting after 4pm otherwise, if the baby is up all night (which most are after a day or two) then you will want to sleep during the day when your baby is sleeping. Your fiance will visit at night so you will be up then anyway. Your friends will understand if you dont want them to visit for the first week anyway, especially if they have had kids or again in my experience people who have had kids forget alot of what it is really like to have a newborn. Friends of ours didnt even tell anyone (except parents) that they had even had their baby until 3 days later. The other thing you could do is set aside 1 or 2 days when you get home and say these are the days you can come around and just have a 'drop in day', but they must bring somthing - slice, biscuits, fruit, milk etc...

Answer 3

I felt exactly the same way and we had even told his mother to wait a week before she came to visit - BUT we were ignored...... Do you know how angry it made me, but I wasn't all pleasant and polite while she was there... Why should i have been i had just had a baby.... Sorry just venting some anger. It is up to your fiance to tell them as they are his parents, just get him to ask if they wait until u have eatablished a routine with the baby and your hormones have leveled out.... they should understand as they too have had babies. Its not as if they wont have seen or held the baby as i am sure they will be eargarly awaitng the babies arrival at the hospital....... The first week or so is the most important in shaping your babies behavioural patterns. If there are people around all the time having a nurse and so forth it will become used to it and then they all go home leaving you with a crying baby that wont go to sleep without being held..You are the parents and your wishes should be respected.

Answer 4

We had the same rule. It helped me get plenty of rest and gave hubby the opportunity to bond with baby without having to share bubs with visitors. We have two children and did this both times. My husbands parents live overseas and when we had our second they booked flights and planned to come and stay with us right after the birth, which I did not want so I ended up telling them they had to stay at my parents place wich was in the same suburb. Thankfully my parents were very understanding too! Just come right out and tell everyone this is the plan and explain why. The sooner you tell everyone then the more time they will have to get used to the idea. They may be disapointed but deep down they will understand. If they don not like it there really is not alot they can do, but if they protest try not to let it stress you out. Just stay firm and as it is your husbands parents you are particularly concerned about let him step up and make sure his parents understand and respect your wishes.

Answer 5

Sometimes you have to be firm. You have to make sure that they know that you really mean it and that you are not suggesting it. Both of you need to tell them together that you want some quiet time for just the three of you. However you will be suprised how many questions you may have. Perhaps having his parents around (in a guest room) will be of more use than you know. Being new parents is an exhausting experience. Just being able to rest while someone else gets supper etc is great.

Answer 6

I felt the exact same way. I just sat my in laws down and explained to them that My husband and I wanted a couple weeks to really get a hang of having a baby around and bond with her. They understood. I think that if you tell your family and friends that you want time to recover and they don't understand you should just let them be upset for awhile because it is your body that has to recover and your baby and everyone should respect your wishes. Don't give in to something you don't want to do! Good luck!

Answer 7

think of you obtain the incorrect concept. Did any muslim leaders surely pop out to invite human beings to desert their concept and convert to Muslim? subsequently you won't be in a position to end that. Terrorists consists of the be attentive to Allah to sway the assumption of the muslim yet purely people who they brainwash did they terrorize. i'm no longer a muslim yet superb here to make clean your doubt.

Answer 8

i no its hard 2 tell them when u just had a baby u like 2 be ya self and your baby and loved one. i think u need it sit down with the family and tell them. good luck love please sit down and tell them what in ya hart

Answer 9

u totally right
u just wanna be alone with ur husband and baby
tell em now tho

Answer 10

u might actually appreciate the help the first few days.

my opinion