It is at the end of my relationship, and while I can realize the relationship is pretty much over, I need concrete answers as to the why it is over. (as a side here, It both is and is not a standard relationship in question, but it was meant to be a relationship in all aspects).
The other person throws out pretty generic answers:
“Because I just don’t feel it anymore,” (responses of that nature)
My response is “Why, what changed?” “Give me a list,” (I need the real meanings, hurtful or not).
“What did I do wrong?”
“You did nothing wrong.”
“If I didn’t do anything wrong, then what’s the issue?”
I don’t think he actually hears me when I say I am a failure.
He claims I am making it too logical and analytical.
I say that if (hypothetically that is) we were in counseling or talking to a third party, the same sort of in depth questions would be posed, he seemingly disagrees with that.
He feels that he doesn’t need to validate any of his responses, I disagree.
He thinks that by saying he is really sorry, and he didn’t mean to hurt me, et al, that somehow I should just readily accept it. I don’t.
So now I come to y’all…and let me say this: While sympathy is nice and much appreciated, I do also need the “brute” honesty of your answers.
Am I in the wrong for needing more explanation? Should I just accept his basic answers, or should I keep probing?
Is he wrong to get flustered when I do probe for more, or since he is the one who wants to end, should he buck up and lay it all out?
2007-02-08 20:57:31 · 6 answers · asked by Just Cub 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just accept his basic answers -- A sad and unnecessary component of a relationship ending is when one or both of the people involved act in hateful, wounding ways.
No matter the circumstances, when a relationship ends there are kind and respectful ways to end it AND there are angry, reactive and hurtful ways to interact.
It won't make any difference if you "Keep probing".
2007-02-08 21:03:47 · answer #1 · answered by Kedar 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
After living 7 years with the 'love of my life'(at least until then) he left with no notice...nothing..never gave me a reason. It took me years to get over the hurt that I felt. In the end I came to realize that it really was him that was at fault..and I could have done nothing to prevent it. I won't bore you with the details of my situation ...but I had to accept that and move on. You say you want the brutal truth...and the brutal truth is --is that you may never get an explanation that makes sense to you or satisfies your need to know. That said, having been there, my heart goes out to you. In my case there is a happy ending..I've now been married to the same man for 20 years (but I never will forget the hurt that I went through).
2007-02-09 05:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Look to yourself, why do you need these answers? Are you over-analytical, too much of a perfectionist, too demanding or tiring?
He may be quite right that you are making it too logical and analytical. Since when did affairs of the heart ever follow a logical path.
There may not be blame to be apportioned nor a firm reason to be applied. A hard thing to accept, but it shouldn't keep you from moving on.
2007-02-09 07:34:19 · answer #3 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you're on the wrong side of the relationship this time.
He means he's just not into you anymore and he doesn't really feel like wasting the energy to analyze why. Move on. Life is too short to waste your time trying to figure out somebody who probably doesn't even have the answers if you could get them to talk about it.
2007-02-16 19:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your desire to know the reasons comes from your need to be accepted and pleasing to others. This is immature. Develop yourself to be the person you want to be and then look for someone who loves what you have created. If someone walks away from you, don't take it personally because they were too blind to see your value and uniqueness.
2007-02-09 05:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by teentitanliz 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
two guys were walking at a rever bank........one saw a pole and sed to other...........this pole in your asshole...he said thanx...he he thanx...............then they saw a drum.the other one said this drum in your *** hole.......he he hee.thanx replied the first one........then they say statue of liberty....................the both are standing there till date and fighting each other to offer him first........
2007-02-17 03:58:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋