I have a friend who's struggling over the guilt of dating a married man, she respects and loves herself, she's self-disciplined and she's struggling with this one mistake she made in her life,she knows it a bad thing she did,doesnt know what she was thinking, she managed to break up with him within 4 months. She's now in a good loving relationship and doesnt know whether to tell her boyfriend or not. But what if he finds out somehow??
2007-02-08 20:26:54 · 33 answers · asked by Phenomenal woman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She should tell him. This way, she can tell him her version of the story so that if he finds out on his own it won't come as a shock to him and he will be able to seperate fact from fiction if he picks it up from a second hand source.
If she is in a good loving relationship, her boyfriend should understand. There are very few of us who haven't screwed up in the relationship department. Also, the fact that she realized that it was wrong and the fact she got out of it seem like redeeming qualities.
2007-02-08 20:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to lie and deny. Actually this friend obviously has some serious issues if she's dating married men, so I would suggest that she seek out some form of therapy asap. Also she should take a break from relationships for a while and work on her self esteem. Sounds to me like she needs a man to feel complete.
2007-02-08 20:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This honesty thing is a nightmare. I was honest and told me ex everything and all she did was throw it all in my face every five minutes. I wished I'd kept secrets. If she has any doubts then I would not say anything. I know it doesn't seem the right thing to do but it might save some arguements in the future.
How would he find out your past unless she tells him? If she feels there's no worry of him throwing it in her face then be honest but wary of that. It ruined my relationship. Honesty for me was definitely NOT the best policy.
Good luck
2007-02-08 20:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife had seen a married man before we met, I do not agree with infidelity and have seen at first hand what pain for everyone it can cause.
I love my wife very much now as I did when I first met her, She told me about this when we first started out and I respect her more for being honest.
My reply was "what happened before I met you is your business and doesn't concern me, it's the future what counts".
To be totally honest, I wouldn't be bothered if I knew or I didn't.
I have a few skeletons in my closet and if I wanted my girlfriend/ wife to know I would tell her but I wouldn't be scared of her finding out neither, its not betraying them or being deceitfully, its just the past.
Good luck!!
2007-02-08 20:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tooly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend doesnt need to say anything to her bf she had a life before she dated him and if does find out she can say well it was something that was very tragic in my life and i didnt tell you b/c I wanted to forget it myself and move on with you and by mentioning it I thought it would make you think I was less of a person and I didnt want you to feel that way about me I regret that I ever met him everyday and pray for the lords forgiveness. GOD BLESS
2007-02-08 20:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should stop being so hard on herself. She did the right thing by breaking it off after 4 months. That is what she should focus on. If she thinks it would help her to tell the current boyfriend, by all means do so.
2007-02-08 20:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by lyllyan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not so hard telling him the truth. I'm sure that he would understand because a loving relationship is about being honest with one another. Not only does it take some pressure of her chest but also strengthens the bond in their relationship.
2007-02-08 20:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get over herself -- women date married men all the time. I'll bet her new boyfriend has a wife and kids in the town over. Marriage is soooo 1957 -- it's 2007 now, and NOBODY CARES.
2007-02-08 20:35:11 · answer #8 · answered by tjacobmill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi we all make mistakes in life sadly, its how we deal with them that matters the most , its never easy trying to put past guilt and hurt behind us, so learning how to live with it is a must just so we can all move on in ones life, allso only we can change the ways we think live, working to make life better with time is the right ways to move on, telling her new love about past hurts wont help her much as shes the one who is putting it behind her, if he finds out then deal with it be open with him just dont worry unless that happens go with all the great things that are happening in life today and remmber the past is over where we never get over the hurts things get easyer if we go on in fun new ways in life then they fade its for the right reasons for her to be happy again thats what matters more im sure.
2007-02-08 20:42:43 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Surely dating a married man is not the worst thing in the world? I would tell him and be done with. If he doesn't like it tell him to sling his hook, and go out and find another married man.
2007-02-08 20:37:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋