my wife is leaving me after ten years what to do? what to do?

Question

ive tried and tried to work things out but nothing works she has her mind set we have no children so thats not a problem but weve never had problems until last week she just all the sudden told me she wants a divorce and she doesnt want to work it out what should i do should i keep trying or is it realy over please help!

Answer 1

First of all she has been thinking about this for awhile, you just found out about it, so there is a little lag time in you catching up with her in accepting it. Thank goodness you have no kids, she will be out of your life and not teathered to you for life. Give yourself some time, after all you know you don't want to be with someone who does not want to be with you. Above all, don't beg or plead, be civil and divide everything fairly. It may seem strange but this will be the best shot at getting her back, it there is a chance at all. Once she sees (or at least thinks) you have moved on the more attractive you will seem to her (us girls are strange that way) Keep a stiff upper lip and good luck. Believe me things will get better. Especially after you see all the girls out there just begging to be part of your life. In the mean time get involved with something that interests you but you never took the time for because you didn't want to take time away from her.

Answer 2

10 years is a long time, at least in the 51% divorce rate of today. If you still want her, you have to chase her with a passion that you haven't felt for quite a while. I have a feeling that you remember how long it's been. Don't stalk, just feel. Either she's strayed, or there is something that you do that takes away from it all. Find it, whatever it might be, and overcome it. The children part of your question concerns me....not a problem by you,...but what about her?

Answer 3

There is nothing more unattractive than someone begging you to stay. If I were you, I would very casually (and coldly) tell her to get the hell out. You may even mention that you've been bored with her and that you're looking forward to meeting new people. If she has ANY desire for you left at all, she will be totally freaked out and rethink her decision. The last thing you want is for her to see you crying or begging. I know it's hard, but you're going to have to give an award winning performance and act completely nonchalant about this. She will go nuts wondering why you're so damn cool.

Answer 4

You mentioned that you've tried to work things out, what exactly is the problem? We may have a solution for you. What problems occured last week? Just that she wants a divorce? Have the two of you went to therapy? Communication is the key to everything.

Answer 5

Maybe your question shouldn't be ",,,what to do...", but rather, "What did I do?" You mention that you have no children--was this a mutual choice? Maybe she wants to start a family. Maybe she is burned out, and just wants to start a new life.

Did you and your wife have communication issues? This is the biggest reason why people leave marriages--not getting things out in the open. Most men tend to keep things bottled up inside themselves, instead of letting their wives know what is up.

Do you listen to her? Do you talk to her? Did you cheat on her? Has your marriage just gotten into a rut? Any of these can be cured with marriage counseling--if you are both willing participants.

Answer 6

This cvnt of a wife of yours obviously did not take her "vows" seriously. You know, I hear women on these forums rant and rave about what "vows" mean, yet it always seems that it's the women who cheat, or the women who want to end the marriage becaue they want to get a diffrent c0ck, etc.

This is what you should do, you should help her get her azz out the door because from now on your life is going to be a party without her. Just think of all that frebbie pvssy that women give a way these days, no marriage required.

So let the b30tch leave so you can start living it up!

Answer 7

After 20 years of marriage my ex walked in the door and said," I don't love you, never have." I begged him to go to marriage counseling and he told me that we had nothing to save. I packed what I could in my car, moved out and started over. I didn't find out until a year later about all of his internet girlfriends all over the country. I found a good counselor, did a lot of crying, and finally figured out that even though I loved him more than anything and had always thought he was my soul mate...you can't force someone to be with you if they don't want to be there. Take care of YOU.

Answer 8

Forget all the bull sh&t if you love someome set them free. I;ll bet a weeks pay that she has another guy in the works. I promise. Right now she'll tell you anything and what you want to hear so don't beleive her. Sorry dude but let her go and thank her for the favor. I know it;s hard but you can get thru it. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Sorry, sweetie, I really am, but if she is determined to leave, there is nothng you can do to stop her. It sounds like she may have lined up someone to take your place. The best advice I can give is to maintain your dignity and pride, think with a level head and don't give her everything thinking she will change her mind.
You might want to check with a therapist to help you get your life back together.

Best of Luck

Answer 10

Do go talk with a professional counseller - someone who can help you work through this. No one ever has an easy time breaking up - its hard to be left and hard to be the leaver. I was a leaver once and talking with a counseller really helped because counsellers are objective and she helped me get to the bottom of my own feelings which helped settle my restless mind twisting with a million and one thoughts.