I have been dating someone since mid-November. We are both very busy proffessionals with many responsibilities. We had an instant connection and both felt strongly about each other. Pre Christmas we backed off as it was just so intense. He joked it was like we were married, the comfort level was just that high and I think we both got scared. Neither of us we really looking or expecting that especially so quick. Assumptions and expectations were made which paralyzed us both somewhat.
We recently started dating again after discussing this all. We agreed to monogamous dating and to keep things pretty low key. Last weekend we had a few glasses of wine and he kissed me. Under his breath he said "I want to marry you."
I have not brought it up with him but noticed a bit of distance. We both want to be together obviously but is this self-sabotage, cold feet or what? The chemistry and connection are so strong. Do men naturally do this back and forth? Opinions please! All the best.
2007-02-08 19:28:06 · 8 answers · asked by Paradox 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To add: We have already done the lust & lock up thing. I was also prev. married. He is in his 30's, never married, not a player, is a doc and still lives with parents. My question should be do men really know what they want and how do you really know for sure? I get mixed signals and I dont understand men speak.
2007-02-08 20:11:12 · update #1
What you need to do is get the intense passion out of the way first.
I do not know you, so I am not sure if my suggestion is too serious for you or not.
You should take a mini vacation together and lock yourselves in a hotel room for you-know-what.
After that you should both be able to think more clearly about what you have.
It could be intense lust. If so, then you may as well deal with it right now.
It may also be that you have found your soul-mates. It is true, I have found mine.
Just have some fun and get as involved as you want, as long as you tell him no rings until you are ready. Why throw away a chance at true love because you are scared. And the worst thing you can do is stand back and say, "Whoa, slow down!" It will be telling him that you don't care for him. And if you are afraid of getting hurt, then that's natural. But is it less scary than waiting until it's too late and wondering if it was real or not?
Think carefully before you throw it all away.
2007-02-08 19:58:21 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always feel that this depends on individual decision.Some guys really know what they want in life. You may feel that the guy proposed to you under the influence of wine. However, both of you should have a conversation to clear the air and not keep each other guessing on what is on your minds. Coz once you miss this chance, it may never come back again.
2007-02-09 06:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok my take on things he said something under the influence of alcohol and now he dose not know how you took it and the fact that neither of you have mentioned it since is not helping. You need to clear the air make a joke next time you have a glass of wine ask him is he going to propose again... than just ask him what is on his mind and where dose he see you relationship going. If things move to fast move with them sometimes things happen for a reason.
Follow your heart. I hope this helps.
;o)
2007-02-09 03:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women r naturally emotional and men physical. So is the case with u. He would like to kiss u and would like u to kiss him. Thereafter he would like to go further. He is very much attracted towards u, but the attraction will last till he gets completely. Just take time. Keep little distance. Men tend to attract towards the woman who gives them attention.Test him when u need him. If u find him always ready to help u, even if nobody else is with u, just go on with him.
2007-02-09 03:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by mydelhifriend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I want to marry you" should be taken as an insult. He's basically saying: I wan't to own you and have you to myself forever and ever.
The problem is, people change and life is too short to be miserable in marriage. They should call it mirage instead because its just an illusion woman. Don't fall for it.
2007-02-09 03:47:11 · answer #5 · answered by Billy Bob D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm ... how did you react when he said "I want to marry you."? If you didn't acknowledge it he may be feeling a bit of rejection. I would back off too.
2007-02-09 03:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by Iceman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ditch the guy he is full of it and start shopping or better yet let the guys shop for you ..you dont need the BS in your life and having to think of all the crap does he or doesnt he its all crap. just let it go and move on
2007-02-09 03:37:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are talking committment/marraige, that should scare the living hell out of anyone.
2007-02-09 03:52:15 · answer #8 · answered by bestbet77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋