i was very much in love with the father of my son. and the last month of my pregnancy he left me because i wouldnt marry him before the baby was born.and so basically he told all his friends that i had cheated on him and the baby wasnt his. and then he slept with someone else because she was there when he needed someone. when i went into labor i did not call him because he didnt bother to call me at all the whole month.now he wants to be apart of mine andmy sons life.and he is trying to be there for both of us i dont know if i should give him another chance i still do love him.but i dont know if he will leave again and break my heart.
2007-02-08 17:03:15 · 27 answers · asked by enchanted_dreamer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
okay let me expand a let more we had already planned on getting marriede after the baby was born..you know who wants to be 8mths pregnant in her wedding dress. but he let his mother and sister get between us and let them change his mind so he was being was forcing me to get married to him because they told him that we had to. So basically it was their fault that it ended and he allowed them to ruin it.
2007-02-09 18:30:12 · update #1
okay let me expand a let more we had already planned on getting marriede after the baby was born..you know who wants to be 8mths pregnant in her wedding dress. but he let his mother and sister get between us and let them change his mind so he was being was forcing me to get married to him because they told him that we had to. So basically it was their fault that it ended and he allowed them to ruin it. so i haven't allowed any of his family members to see my son, because of what they did. until recently i allowed his parents to see him. at least his mother spoke to me but she didnt apologize for what she did and his father was a total jerk. now they are asking to see the baby again but they havent even apologized to me yet. do i let them see him again. i know sooner or later its going to happen but i just cant let go what has happened, because of his family my son doesnt have his parents together.
2007-02-09 18:34:35 · update #2
you did the right thing by not marrying him becaause now you seen that he's the type that runs away when he soest get what he wants
dont you even dare think about giving him another chance,girl.
there was a reason you didnt marry him
if he really wanted to marry you,he would have been persistent,and waited.
but instead he went and slept with another chick,he is not the one for you
2007-02-08 17:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'd give him another chance. After all he's the father of your son and if you really love him - you might regret not giving him another chance. Even if he does something to hurt you again - that's better than never knowing what would happen and I mean - he is dad to your son - having him around makes a big difference to your son and it will mean more and more as he grows older. Boys with dads who aren't around generally grow up with alot of challenges with self esteem and feeling loved and all that. Alot of guys have emotional challenges with becoming a dad and it sounds like maybe he has some insecurities in thinking you didn't want to be with him when you said you wouldn't marry him. I mean, you really complicate things by having sex before making the commitment so really - you need to be a bit more understanding about the whole thing.
2007-02-09 01:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as having a relationship with him, you need to do what's best for you. It will be hard to ever trust him like you once did and you might find out that he's not what you really want. Besides, I he should've been there for you when you were pregnant, you were the one who need the support. On the other hand, if he wants to be apart of your son's life I think you should give him that chance.
2007-02-09 01:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please take my advice seriously. I am quite knowledgeable in social studies, especially in this field.
Of course he will. He already took off and had sex with another woman. The REAL reason is because you couldn't give it to him. When you take him back, you are giving him permission to have sex with any woman he wants. And he will do it! There are three possible reasons he wants back in your life.
1. He likes to have sex with you.
2. He wants to be part of your son's life.
3. He doesn't want to have to pay child support.
Even though you weren't married, he still has to support his child. Ask a lawyer. If you want a husband who is going to have sex with every woman he can, then you can let him back in.
If you REALLY want this guy, then make him give you FULL access to his bank accounts, etc...
He must give you all of his money, and you can give him an allowance.
If he accepts, he might love you.
If he refuses, he is definitely just looking at you as "Convenient Sex".
2007-02-09 01:17:31 · answer #4 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"then he slept with someone else because she was there when he needed someone"
Sorry (I do pick up the hurt and dissapointment in your post) but where was he when it was you that needed someone. Dont make excuses for him.
Where will he be next time you and now your son need him?
If you both truly love each other then try. Dont settle for excuses. Measure it all. Learn from the lessons and let your heart decide. Children deserve stability.
2007-02-09 01:36:59 · answer #5 · answered by Paradox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad that boyfriends put girls into these situations, but on the other had he did want to marry you before the baby was born to do the RIGHT thing and you rejected him, so that is probably how he took it. I wish you both all the best and PLEASE see a counselor, most churches offer them for free. And no matter what get along for your son's sake. =)
2007-02-09 01:10:03 · answer #6 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer in second chances, but by god, make him work hard for it. that's was an a**hole thing to do, and he's immature and scared. Don't do him any favors or get too attached. because he sounds like trouble. If he REALLY means it, make him prove it. this doesn't mean a single token or expression of love. this requires on-going care, respect, maturity,understanding, and reliability. if you even think for a second that he'll leave you again over something so stupid, then don't bother.
2007-02-09 01:08:41 · answer #7 · answered by sprklngdimundz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You live, and you learn. From this I hope you have learned: get married before getting pregnant. It's so much easier that way.
Only you know this man. If you think he will be a good father, and he's someone you want to be with to raise the child, and you want to marry him, then go for it.
It's sad to me that you call him your baby's father, and that you have no real tie to him otherwise.
2007-02-09 01:06:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet n Sour 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually U answered yourself, there is a baby and you are sure that he is yr baby's father!
Sure the wrong was b4, but you are today's sons!
Better to be carefully, as your BOND is not strong enough , he made some mistakes ( titles of his essence) which most give you the power of control…
for more pls send e-mail
regards
2007-02-09 01:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by mic m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you both need to grow up! Yes you should let you're son's grandparents see you're son. You don't want you're son to resent you later in life. You need to act like an adult and tell his parents how you feel. As far as you're boyfriend you have to follow you're heart. Try praying and ask God to guide you. You and you're boyfriend should get involved in church go talk to a preacher. It's not just about you any more you have a child to worry about. FOLLOW YOU"RE HEART!!!
2007-02-14 16:19:59 · answer #10 · answered by Shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋