I hate my personality?

Question

Hi, i don't know what to do. People keep saying "just love yourself for who you are" but i just can't! I hate that i'm shy, i hate that i'm quiet, i hate i'm moody and have depression! I hate that i'm lazy and i waste my time on this stupid yahoo answers!

I'm 17 and i don't have myself put together, i didn't have this problem until i was 16. I don't know what to do? Do you have any tips?

Answer 1

First tip: Quit worrying. Your're reasonably normal.

Nearly all teens go through a little bit of a self-flagellation stage, and it sounds like you are a full participant. You got past the stage of being a little kid and you aren't quite a grown-up yet, and you aren't sure if you are ready to be one.

But you sound like a caring person who will get through it. I think we all have to learn how to love ourselves--and that isn't selfish, that's the first stage to getting over the things we may not like about ourselves.

When I was your age I was not a bad looking kid but I didn't know how to present myself, and I was shy and terrified of girls. (You would have really disliked me.) But I outgrew it. It took a few years, and it didn't happen all at once.

Cut yourself a little slack. Find some things that you can enjoy doing that don't require a lot of self-introspection and forget the things you don't like about yourself.

Life will all come together for you and you will learn to be happier.

Also, learn to laugh at yourself. I see signs of a good sense of humor. Nurture it and it will serve you well through the 48 years it will take you to reach my age.

Answer 2

First of all you are not alone..no one really has it together at 17. If your really hating that your shy, try to work on it. Make little goals everyday leading to a big..for instance one of goals for the day maybe saying Hi to a stranger first. That little bit..just made you a little less shy, and make that goal until your comfortable with it, now when your comfortable with that step it up a notch, and make your goal to have 1 conversation a day that you have started..whether its a short one with someone at a check out stand or whatever..still you did it.
It does start with loving yourself. Doing something about what you don't like about yourself is much easier when you "accept" it. Now, I don't mean you sit back and say oh thats just how I am....and leave it. I'm saying you look in the mirror and say I am shy, and I will change it..literally look in the mirror and say it. Its a realization thats sets in that is like no other.
If you have depression and are on a med..please see your Dr. and explain how you feel, you might not be on the right kind or dosage.
If you aren't on a med, also see your DR. There is no shame in taking an antidepressant if your Dr. thinks you need it. But, please be careful as some of the side effects from any meds can be tough.

Answer 3

So sorry to hear about your depression and that you don't feel good about your personality. I'm much older than you but I have to say I suffer from some of the same problems. However, I wasn't aware that I could ask for help when I was your age so I never got any. But you have an opportunity right now to get some help and support. You've already taken the first step by putting your worries out here. Good for you. On to step two.

I know it's really no help when people say "Look on the bright side!", "Think positive thoughts" or "You're your own worst enemy". How many times have I heard those platitudes?! So I'm not going to tell you to cheer up or that things will change as you grow older. They won't unless you find a therapist and start talking to them about you and your emotions. They will have the tips, and will help you learn what you can do. I can't say it's easy or that it won't hurt to talk about things, but mental health professionals can help if you're ready to let them.

Please, tell your parents you need to see somebody to "talk about some things" or tell them outright that you are depressed and need help. If going through them is not an option, make an appointment yourself and at least talk to a therapist. In most cases your initial visit will be free.

Therapists could be psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers or any other type of professional liscenced as a therapist. The link below can help you find providers in your area. Use it. Do it now. If you feel you can't do it yourself, email me at [e-mail] and we'll find a way.

Now go to it.

Answer 4

Oh gosh, please dear never ever "hate your personality"!!!
And your sooooooo young, you will indeed "put yourself together". I was just like you when I was ur age. I strongly suggest counseling/therapy to help build your sense of confidence and feelin' good about urself like you so have the RIGHT to do so!!! Unlearn much negative thinking by replacing positive thoughts. And learn for urself where these feelings/roots stem from. Many people are shy at your age. As you gain more and more life experience, I can assure you you'll not be so shy anymore at all!! I used to be "painfully shy", and just know that ur just placing waaaaaaaaaaaay too much focus on yourself. EVERYONE has insecurities of some type(s) and most people eventually get over them and learn to love themselves. It is not difficult to do at all. So you can start right this moment :o)
*I think many people sit around the computer during the wintertime, so don't feel bad about being on yahoo q&a. It's a fun interactive type of entertainment. And you can learn a lot here about others as well as yourself. I think it's quite nice they have it actually.

Answer 5

hun...im a teen, so i think its safe to say i kno how crazy life can get at times, n how sucky that feeling of being unhappy and unsatisfied with ur life is....its da worst!!! n its kinda overwhelming 2 =,(
perhaps its time 2 make a change?
about the fact that your shy n quiet.....why not gather a group of friends and join a club or start playing a sport....that way you'll get to meet people, n mayb open up to the possibility of new friendships. n believ me, new friendships r a gr8 boost to the confidence levels =) also, its important to be urself...dont try to be any1 else, coz wen ppl get 2 kno u 4 hu r, they'll luv u, n ul feel way mor comfortable in your own skin....n u'l learn 2 luv urself 2 =) laziness is a horrible trait....i kno that, coz i suffer from it 2 =P...hehe. but that has 2 b approached in baby steps. set daily aims 4 urself, n do ur best to acheive em. 4 example...say u wanna lose a few pounds, instead of setting an unrealistic goal of 3pounds in a week... make an aim 2 walk 30mins a day. if u wanna increase ur grades, dont set a goal of getting an 100% in the next test....aim a little lower, n ul get there =) i believ there is a point in every1s life, where u hav a turning point. u jus kinda wake up n smell the coffee, n u realise u cant be perfect, but being hu u r is gr8 enuff =) ul come 2 realise that in time....jus dont give up on urself k *hugz*

Answer 6

If I were you I would talk to a school counselor or even a therapist just to make sure you aren't suffering from depression. As for changing your personality, you don't have to change it but you can learn to show different sides of your personality. I'm sure that there are some people who you are comfortable and happy around and you can try to project that same side around others. Pay attention to how you behave around friends and try to duplicate that. Just relax, take a few deep breaths and speak up. You might also want to try taking a public speaking class if your shy; though I've never tried one I've heard that they help to boost confidence. As for being moody, try keeping a journal. I started years ago and its what keeps me sane today. Good luck and I hope this helps!

Answer 7

If you don't like who you are, change who you are. Try on a different you. Look at the people around you, your friends, your parents and brothers and sisters, family. Think about what you admire about particular people, and try on, in your mind, a particular personality trait. See how it fits.
For example, I loved the fact that my Dad could calmly look at a problem, think about it for a bit, and then logically and systematically go about fixing it, whether it was a leaking tap, blown up motor in a car, or his brother needing picking up from another state. I admired that quality in him, and have incorporated that personality trait in myself, or trying at least. I stay pretty calm in an emergency, stop and think and am able to find a solution to most problems, whether they be a leaking tap, or one of my kids having trouble learning to swim.

Pick the good bits out of the people you know. Make yourself a unique mixture of lots of good bits from the people you know. Throw away the useless or bad bits of personality that do nothing but make you and others sad - like if you have any perfectionism or tendency to argue or the bit my mother has where she tells me she hates me when she doesn't get her way. Make yourself the nicest person you know by giving yourself all the nice parts of the people you love. Shyness and quietness are not necessarily bad things, you know, but if it makes you unhappy, be a bit more outgoing, be a bit more noticeable, bit by bit, baby steps, until you're happy with yourself. You'll find that once you start opening up a bit, there'll be lots of people who were just waiting to be your friend!
And SMILE! It'll make you feel better (or at least make people wonder what you've been up to!)
Good luck!

Answer 8

Always make a list.

Make a list of goals. Be creative.
Make a list of you good qualities and your bad qualities.
(You have stated the bad ones already)
Work on the ones that need work.
Be creative in ways you can figure out how to solve something.
Try everything, even stuff you might not think will work.
At least you can cross it off the list when it doesn't.
Figure out what works and what doesn't work.
Keep adding and subtracting from the list, until you have acheived you short term goals that contribute to your long term goals.

Short term goals add up when you put them all together.

P.S. Edison wasn't a very bright man, but what he lacked in intelligence he made up for it in determination. When inventing the lightbulb, he tried all kinds of things. Things that may seem goofy, but he said "At least I know what doesn't work and I am that much closer to finding what does work."

Read the following link

Answer 9

If you don't like yourself, then perhaps you should change.
It's not easy, but it's doable.

And if you find that you can't do that, perhaps you should try to accept yourself. You don't have to love yourself, but there's no sense in worrying about something you can't change, either.

And how severe is this depression you speak of? You may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist. There's no shame in it, and you may have a real problem going on. Clinical depression shouldn't go untreated.

Answer 10

I know what your feeling, this is so similar to me.. it has to do with self esteem, looks like u are going through a low self esteem phace.. think positive stop thinking all this and think about that sooner or later this phace will go by. Good thing is.. It won't last forever so why waste your precious time puting yourself down? you deserve to have fun like everybody else, so be who you are and don't care about what others may think cause its your life and u can do anything you want!

all it takes is a little confidence... believe in yourself.. you are valuable and you deserve all the good things in life!

hopes this helps
bye;)