My gf's associates from back in the day are coming to visit Korea for a day or two. Apparently, these people are coming from Europe cause they are flight attendants. They are going to be in Japan for 2days for a lay over or something and my girl has suggested to them hanging out since they haven't seen each other for 15-20years since they were in elementary school. Anywho, she tells me that they will be meeting up next week and I can join if I want but they will be speaking in Danish and she doesn't know if I will enjoy it much. By the way may I mention all of these people speak English. She has told these people about me to them and etc. I got upset with my gf because she won't even take the time out to translate for me or to speak in English for me. I don't know am i being selfish here? I told her god I wish you would be more considerate. She thinks that I am trying to change her. Do you guys consider that changing someone?
2007-02-08 16:22:05 · 6 answers · asked by XX 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just because people can speak two different languages doesn't mean that they feel equally comfortable speaking both of them.
I think it's fair of you to expect your friends to speak in a language that you understand, even if it's a language they don't quite feel comfortable speaking.
But from your description, I understand that some of the people in this group are strangers to you. And I don't quite see why do you expect strangers to discomfort themselves for you?
I think that expecting complete strangers to discomfort themselves for you, when there is no real need for it, is a bit selfish and impolite.
Some feelings, perceptions, and ideas are very easy to express in one language and very difficult in another. Language and culture are a big part of how people relate to each other. And changing the language in which people speak to each other definitely changes the way they relate to each other too.
Perhaps this is what your friend meant when she said that you were trying to change her.
Relationships are a big part of who people are. And changing your friend's relationship with her friends is the same as changing her.
2007-02-08 17:26:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are someone's girlfriend or daughter or spouse does not mean that you have to do with and for them 100% of the time. We get to be one person at work, another person with our mate, another person with our friends - that is how it is supposed to be. Sometimes it's great when our worlds collide - like when we bring a prospective mate home to meet the parents and everything goes great - and sometimes it is hard.
Your gf is totally entitled to want to have som nostalgia time or european time or just practice her dutch language time if she wants it, particularly for a measly 2 days. It is not reasonable for you to want to kind of stand in the middle of her thing and say you need to do this my way. You wouldn't do it at work or in her parent's home - it the same sort of thing.
If you want to be a great friend yourself, lay low and let her do her thing. Let her come home and tell you all about and remember that it will go back to just the 2 of you in a couple of days. Your gf will feel respected and trusted and will have a great weekend - and you'll have given her the space to be everything and everyone she wants to be.
Peace!
2007-02-08 16:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur thinking too much. let her have her couple of days or whatever time to spend with her girlfriends..at least meet them if possible and let her go chat up the girltalk. Now, you might have a problem with it if she did that sort of thing...talk in another language all the time with people who live near and visit often.
peace
2007-02-08 16:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her some room Man!!! Let her enjoy some time alone with her friends. WHy do you have to tag along!! I think you are being immature and selfish.
2007-02-08 16:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by XYZ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its fair to you for them to speak in a language you don't understand. Makes me wonder if they're talking about you.
2007-02-08 16:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very curious about what they are talking about that she doesn't want you to know. She is being inconsiderate at the very least.
2007-02-08 16:25:04 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋