We live separately. We want to exchange our things for good. We made a "tape" with a home video camera about a year ago. He's demanding to swap everything but the tape, which he says he doesn't know where it is, BUT I asked for it back once before when we thought we were over for good (about 7 months ago) and he said “Too bad, I hid it.” I explained to him that it was important to me and he shrugged his shoulders and said with a smug look, “Well, you’re out of f’n luck.” For the past year he has never told me where it was even when 1) he knew how important it was to me 2) things were great between us and 3) we were happily engaged. What guarantee do I have now that he’ll look for it if he has all of his things back? None. So am I wrong for witholding the exchange of items (including the ring) until he produces the tape? What should I do if he doesn't produce it? Or should I just forget about it and let him watch it and miss me? Haha. Input please! Thank you
2007-02-08 15:50:52 · 13 answers · asked by CaliBlueBell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OH! By the way, he lost the video camera, I know for sure, so he can't watch it unless he buys a new $350 camera. I just don't want it on the net one day or anything...he's a MAJOR divorce attorney and that would kill his career, so I don't think I'm in danger of that happening.
2007-02-08 16:03:38 · update #1
I taped over "the video" as soon as I realized that things were not working out, and he didn't like that but I have always been glad I did it. I'm trying to imagine if I didn't do that, and I think it will only hurt him - like some new girlfriend is going to want to see that! Just decide how much time and effort it is worth and then when you reach your limit let it go and get on with your own new and better life. And maybe not make another video?
2007-02-08 16:02:02 · answer #1 · answered by UpanishadMorning 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is a lawyer.. I would just give him everything that is his, and walk away and forget about the tape. Let this be a lesson to you, why would you do such a thing? Even if you did you should have always kept it in your possession. Stop being tethered to this guy or something you can do nothing about. Once he sees you don't care about the tape and want him out of your life and are moving on it is very likely he will offer to you as a peace offering. That is the best you can hope for.
2007-02-09 00:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL, get one of his friends to get him out one night, go to his house and FIND THAT TAPE. A thing like that is lethal in the hands of an old boyfriend and he will have the upper hand forever. You could also tell him that you have a secret tape of the two of you and will post in on the Internet if you don't recieve your tape back. Then again there are always copies.
2007-02-09 00:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by mrskj007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you aren't going to get the tape back.. and the more he knows you want it, the more he is going to hold it over you... my suggestion is ask for it one more time, if he doesnt give it, then you are out of luck.
2007-02-08 23:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by emtb9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. You can make an even exchange. The ring for the video. no video, no ring. If he wants to take it to court, then so be it. But he has something of value to you, and what could be blackmail later down the road.
2007-02-09 00:19:58 · answer #5 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold on to his is stuff...you want the tape back or destroyed in front of you. Dont let him have to watch and get off on, or even worse show his friends/. make sure he finds it, make him look high and low...hell find it if he wants his stuff back bad enough.
2007-02-09 01:05:44 · answer #6 · answered by E L M S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it up woman. obviously it means so much to him. so you just tell him if you want to be mean. enjoy beating your meat to that. but if you want to be nice. just say you know what i am bigger than that and **** the tape you can keep it. im just done with this ****. its not worth arguing over. good luck to you
2007-02-08 23:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by stunt101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure I seen the video on ome of the ex wives post their pics.
2007-02-09 07:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the ring till he gives you the tape plus the copies.. i think its fair and he needs to respect that and respect that its over and he has no rights to that tape..
2007-02-08 23:55:33 · answer #9 · answered by funluvcaring 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
giving back the ring???
no way.
sell it!!!!
but don't tell him till he gives you the tape
2007-02-09 00:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋