I've known my man for 10 years but after I married we stopped talking to each other. Around the time I filed for divorce, I ran into him. I was given the divorce and my man and I decided to get back together. It turns out that I've matured a great deal and we can actually conversate for hours. I got full custody of the children and their father is not allowed visitation because I was able to prove that he was very abusive and could not be trusted alone with them as he had used our daughter as a sheild while breaking my ankle. Occasionally, I will let him see his children out of pity. They are his kids too, but he shouldn't have acted the way he did. My man asked me a couple of days ago if I wanted to marry him. We've both been through a divorce and I just don't want to out of fear of the future. Having to have that pinned to me for the rest of my life and all the hassle of possible bad endings. What does everyone think? My mom thinks it's great, but she's old school too.
2007-02-08 14:48:25 · 13 answers · asked by Proud Muslimaah-Beautiful Islaam 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He loves my children. My daughter is 3 and my son is 1. He knows about my son's seizure disorder and always wants to walk around the house holding him. He absolutely loves cooking for them. My daughter will look up at him and say "Egg". He says "Egg? Ok, let's go make an egg". She really likes his cooking. It's like spiritually, he was always meant to be the one there for them.
2007-02-08 16:11:11 · update #1
My bf is the one proposing, not the ex husband. I wouldn't take the ex back no matter what he did. He just isn't worth it.
2007-02-08 16:12:37 · update #2
Only marry when you are 100% sure, if you have been together in a dating realtionship for over a year and have very few problems. Marriage is a very bad decision unless you are very sure, very much in love with each other, are best friends and have the strategeies to handle calmly and cooperative issues in life, and have been doing so for AT LEAST a year. never marry out of fear, lack of security, finances or fear of losing the other. Your children suffer from this more than you do, and will benefit as much as you do from a positive realtionship.
2007-02-08 14:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by drjen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy. You want to marry him again so he can bash you up again. He just wants to control you, do you not see that. Please don't get back with him, If a man loves you he should never ever lay a finger on you and he has done that, he obviously can't control his anger. My mom divorced my dad 11 yrs ago and its the best thing she ever did, take it from a divorce child who's mom was abused I turned out very strong and know what is acceptable and what is not in a relationship. I know that I will never let a man do that to me. So if you think you want to get together with him because of the kids please know they will be ok without you 2 living together, do you want your children to witness abuse again. I hope not.
2007-02-08 23:06:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Being scared of an uncertain future is natural. Getting married a second time is even worse. You have known this man for a long long time. I don't think he is anything like your ex. If he is I don't believe you would allow him into your life. If your not comfortable with it right now, then tell him so. Just don't make it a lifetime goal to never consider it. Who knows, maybe in a year you'll be telling us the wedding date.
Good luck to both of you.
2007-02-08 22:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alright...it's a tough call. But i mean you should go what ever in your heart. You made one mistake by marrying one guy. WHo said the worse isn't going to be as bad? But you just have to remember there are some good guys in this world. And the good guy could be the man proposing to you!
2007-02-08 22:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by You know it....Shanon 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never be afraid to let love and happiness in, in fear of what could be down the road. A life lived on could's and should's isn't a happy one. Be brave and be happy you have found someone wonderful again!
2007-02-08 23:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by Gatorgirl27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow pretty crazy story for a muslim lady. Who is him? I'm presuming"he" is another guy; you dont really make it clear. A second marrige is the American thing to do. But you have to realize what that will mean for your kids, and will your "Man" accept them as his own. Sounds pretty awful..wish the best for ya sista.
2007-02-08 22:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by pago 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is a gamble. How much are you willing to risk? How is he with your children? What are you willing to bet that it will all work out? Do you want to take the chance of missing out on what it would have been like? Will regret it? Its all up to you.
2007-02-08 22:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs Baker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love this guy and he really loves you then go for it!
As for your ex, if he's abusive as you say he is then he shouldn't be anywhere near your kids.
2007-02-08 22:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by m k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what, it does not matter what anyone thinks. What does your heart tell you?
2007-02-08 23:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by FireDragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds good, go for it
2007-02-08 22:54:35 · answer #10 · answered by ¥¥Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋