Is it ok to let my 2 month old baby cry for 10 minutes until he falls asleep?

Question

I have cheaked to make sure he isn't hungry, doesn't need to be burped, diaper is changed, ect. He also has been up for 6 hours, sometimes we have a hard time getting him to sleep during the day, and he will only take 20 minute naps, and is very cranky. I never let him cry for longer then 10 minutes, and it is only sometimes I do this.

Answer 1

I strongly disagree with all of the people who say it's fine to let a 2 month old cry themselves to sleep! Even many sleep experts do not recommend sleep training in the form of crying until at least 4-6 months old.

Even if a child is changed, fed, not sick, etc.. a baby still cries when it is scared, lonely, afraid of the dark, or just wants to know that it's mother is still there and still exists. There is no way for a mother to check these emotions other than to accept that your baby needs you and respond to it's cries. You also don't know if your baby is starting to teethe, or maybe starting to get an ear ifnfection, having gas pains, a tummy ache, or who knows what.. and then they are crying and not getting comfort when they are in pain. If you become de-sensitized to nighttime crying chaces are you will not be there when baby DOES wake up in pain and needs you.

Why is it so hard for mothers to let their babies "cry it out" or cry themselves to sleep? Because nature intended it that way. A baby's cries are supposed to be distressing to a parent so that they will respond to them! It is a physiological response to a baby's cry that is intended to make a mother respond and therefore let the baby know that it can count on you to be there when he or she needs you.

Letting a baby cry themselves to sleep is not teaching them that "hey, this is cool, I can put myself to sleep", they are learning that "Nobody cares when I cry, mommy doesn't come anymore, I can't count on her anymore, so i might as well not try and just cry myself to sleep or just go to sleep sad and alone and scared"

I know someone who says that she grew up never feeling like she could trust or count on her mother for as long as she can remember, and that they told her later that they didn't want to spoil her so they just let her cry herself to sleep from an early age and she always felt that this was why she didn't have a strong bond with her parents.

They are right, letting him cry it out might make YOU happy that you went that route when he puts himself to sleep and never needs you anymore, but I think that's a rather selfish reason to let a little baby cry on purpose.

Children will eventually grow out of needing help to fall asleep, each at their own pace, and while it takes patience as a parent to get through it, I have never know a grown adult that is still rocked to sleep or has to be sung to by his wife or else he cries lol

I rather think that what you need to do is work to establish a napping schedule. 6 hours is far too long for a baby to be awake at that age and it is no wonder that he gets so overtired that he can't go to sleep. Try rocking, white noise in a dark room, a pacifier, swaddler, sleep positioner, or any combination of these things. My daughter gets tired at about 2 hours on the dot, sometimes sooner. Try to watch for the early cues, a small yawn or a rub of the eyes means try to put him down for a nap before he becomes obviously fussy.

I used to have to rock my baby to sleep in a swaddler in the sleep positioner with the vibration mode on the basinett, and she would only nap in my arms or the swing during the day, but when it came time to transition her to the crib I worked very hard and slowly at making tiny transitions at a time and over the course of about a month she now puts herself to sleep in her crib wearing a sleep sack and a pacifier for nighttime, and only the pacifier for naps, and i was able to do it all without ever letting her cry uncomforted.

It can be done without crying, so the question is wether you want it done quickly but at the expense of him being nurtured to sleep so that sleep is a positive thing, or take it slowly and try to correct his sleep schedule with small steps and teach him that you are there for his needs.

Answer 2

First of all relax. An infant is very in tune with your emotions if they sense that you are stressed even a little they can pick up on it. Second yes it is just fine. Dont you sometimes get cranky and out of sorts when you are tired. I still let my two year old when she is needing a nap but doesnt want one have a fit until she falls asleep. she just wants things her way. and sometimes she'll just pop off to sleep with no fuss at all. As he gets older it will get a bit worse if he knows all he has to do is squeak and you'll come running and then no nap. bad habit to get into I promise. Also for the napping I know it is hard but maybe see if there is just too much activity at nap time. I try and keep my house relatively quite with only quiet activities during naptime and even leave a note on my door on bad days that say its naptime please do not know or ring door bell. Most people are considerate enough not to stop by or call at nap time. Sleep is very important to everybody old or young. I am not super mom but my kids are in bed by 8 or8:30 every night as they have school in the morning and need that amount of sleep to have a productive day. That baby is just smaller and actually needs more sleep. Check out a book if you can called "what to expect the first year" it is fantastic

Answer 3

Given that you've checked on all the usual causes, and it only happens fairly rarely, it's fine. Some babies do just cry a lot!

Also, by now you should be getting used to your baby's cries and learning which ones are serious and which ones are just whining. This will help you decide whether or not to intervene, which may be necessary if your baby gets a touch of colic, for instance.

Also, I don't know whether you are breast or bottle feeding, but make sure your baby is getting enough to eat - our second was quite cranky and irritable for the first couple of weeks; we (including the staff at the hospital) thought he was breastfeeding well, but he was actually losing weight - so we put him onto bottle feeding and once he started getting enough to eat, he was a much happier little boy.

Of course, now he's three and a half and a mischievous little terror, but that's the way it goes. ;-) (Really, he's a good kid. Most of the time...)

Answer 4

I say yes. We always use the 10 minute rule. Usually, our little one is out by the end of 10 minutes. It could be that he is having a hard time getting to sleep because he is overtired. I know that if our son is overtired, getting a nap in is nearly impossible. If he is overtired then he doesn't sleep as soundly during naps and they tend to be shorter. We had a sound machine that played different sounds (womb sounds and nature sounds) sometimes that seemed to help settle him down.

Answer 5

Other mothers are asking if it is ok to let their child cry for half an hour or more. I'm very surprised to see someone asking about 10 minutes. You must be a very loving, caring, comforting, sensitive mom!! Kudos!! You're also a very lucky woman if your child will fall asleep on his own after only 10 minutes. As long as it's just fussing, and he isn't working himself up to the point of being sick, I definitely wouldn't worry about it. In fact, I'd be scared to change that, because if he will fall asleep on his own at only 2 months, you've got it made, you won't have to battle to teach him when he is older(and stubborn enough to cry for hours)!!

Answer 6

Who in the heck are these people that say it's fine? It is sooo not.
Studies have proven newborns up to 3mos. only cry for certain reasons tired, hungry, burp, gassy, uncomfortable, or sick. I guess if all else fails the nurses in the ICU at the hospital I just had my baby at said to put a little sugar on the pacifier and usually that works. I tried YES it worked.

Answer 7

It is ok to let your baby cry for a few min until he falls asleep. But if he does cry longer than a few min then maybe check his temp and be sure he isn't sick, and also check to see if he's teething, both can make him very irritable and not sleep very well. But if you can't seem to find anything wrong and you know he's not sick then maybe you should bring him to the doc, just to be sure he's not colic, and yes it is possible for him to be teething at 2months!!! hope i helped :)

Answer 8

I think 10 minutes is OK. Sometimes it takes them a little time to settle down and get to sleep on their own. I do not believe in the "cry it out method" but you do need to give a baby a chance to settle down.

Answer 9

I had to do the same with my son, as long as he doesn't get to upset I feel it's okay. A little tip- I invested in one of those video monitors for my son. It has been the best thing I've ever bought! I can watch my son while he is crying or sleeping and always feel assured that he is fine. Good luck!

Answer 10

Yes It is fine the choice is totally up to u but if u choose to let him cry it would come out better in the long run cause when he gets older they can fall asleep on their own without u rocking him or singing But sometimes babies just like attention and mommy baby time (bonding) prolly just wanna be near u

Answer 11

No, it is not ok. A baby at this age only cries if he needs something: e.g. hungry, tired, cold, wet, soiled, or he may just need his mommy. By leaving him to cry himself to sleep, you are destroying the trust he should have in the people who care for him. Babies this age do not know that an object (aka You) still exists even though it is out of sight. Therefore, if you don't come to his cries, you no longer exist. Evolution says that if a helpless mammal of any kind thinks its mother is gone, it will not thrive the way it should.
A baby cries because they need something, if the need is not met then they baby loses trust in others, the world, and himself. "Why don't my cries work? Why won't my mommy respond to me? What am I doing wrong?". Falling asleep to this is a terrible thing to do to a baby this age. I hope you reconsider.