babies last name?

Question

i recently found out i am pregnant. me and my boyfriend aren't married, and when we started discussing names he asked if i would give the baby his last name. i always just assumed that if the mother wasnt married that the baby would have her name. how does this work, and what is everyones opinions about the childs last name?

we havnt been dating long enough for me to know if marriage is in our future, and if its not then i would want my baby to have my last name. how do i go about telling him that without hurting his feeliengs??

Answer 1

I was the opposite, I always thought a child just automatically had the father's last name. I ended up doing that cuz I was with my bf, and I didn't think it would be weird, cuz a lot of people and their kids have different last names nowadays. Now, 1 1/2 yrs. later, I wish I hadn't. It's weird for my daughter to have her father's last name, when she's more a part of my family since I'm the one who takes care of her, and me and her father are no longer together. I know a lot of guys who automatically want the child to have their last name, it seems like a sense of ownership or pride or something. But half the time, those are the fathers who don't stick around. From my experience, I would use your last name, and if your child disagrees with it and wants the father's name in the future, he/she can change it themselves when they are old enough. Your other options are using a hyphenated last name, or maybe including your bf's last name in your child's name, still using your last name as your child's last name.

Answer 2

Back in the day, if you weren't married, the baby got mommy's name. Now it's more common for the baby to have daddy's name. I think you two should disscuss it. Write out a list of pro's and con's and weigh out your options. What if daddy disappears and your child is stuck with the last name of a man he doesn't know or hate? (Hopefully this will not happen and daddy will stay around, but there is always that chance.) Kids are cruel (Why is your last name Smith and your mama's is Johnson). If the baby gets his name, how will you feel not having the same last name as your "family" (your boyfriend and your child will have the same name and you won't). I think it's a decision you have to make on your own. One option is to hypenate the two last names. Do some research on child support laws in your state to see if the last name will be a factor. Who's insurance will the child be on? Will the last name be a factor for that? I know it's a lot of questions and I'm not advocating for either side, but you just have a lot to think about! The good news is you have months to think about it!

Answer 3

I just had a baby in December and I am not married to his father. We are planning to get married in the future so I gave my baby his last name. If you don't know if you want to marry the dad you can always give you baby your last name and if you do decide to marry then you can always change it later on. I think if your not sure marriage is in the future maybe he feels the same, I would just be honest with him from the start, communication is what makes a great relationship! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

It's less confusing for the school system when your last name is the same as your child's. If he wants the baby to have his last name is he willing to pay child support and actually earn the right to claim this child as his own? Will he be a continuous part of this child's life or will he fade away and leave him/her with this strange name? As a compromise you could also agree that if it's a boy it gets his last name and a girl will get yours? There is no right answer, you know weather he'll be a responsible father. Good Luck in whatever you decide. Best wishes for all of you! =)

Answer 5

That is something you and your boyfriend need to discuss. If the mother isn't married then she can not give the baby the father's last name without the consent of the father. So when you fill out the birth certificate if he isn't there then you have to give your baby your last name. If he is there and does sign the birth certificate then the baby can have his last name.

Answer 6

This is what I would do, Either give the child your last name and if you & the Dad are together later and it's all cool add his last name and then yours becomes a second middle name so your child won't have to learn a new name, just his Dad's added last name OR have your last name as his middle to begin with so bub has family history from both sides of his family.

Answer 7

Um, why are you having sex with someone who you're not sure you want to marry?

Anyway, we have a 12 year old who stays with us during the school week who has no one in her life with the same last name. Her mom has 6 kids with 4 different dads and they all have their dad's last names. There is currently not two people in the house with the same last name!

She obviously doesn't have my last name, and I haven't had any problems when I contact the school. There are so many variations of family out there right now, everywhere from women who keep their maiden name to step families, foster families, unmarried couples, that as long as your name is on the school records, there won't be any problems there.

Personally though, I think the children should have the name of the person raising them.

Answer 8

I strongly feel that your child given your cirsumstance should have your last name, In a few years if you and your boyfriend are still together, and are a definate family then I would either hyphanate, or change last names. I can understand the bf wanting his name on the birth certificate and I would do that.

Answer 9

I let my son have my bf's last name. My son is the only male grandchild who could continue the last name. If not for that, he would have MY last name. Be aware, in most states, just because they have the same last name, they are not considered legitimate and the father doesn't have rights to the child until he goes to court to make it so. Unless you consent, the father must get a DNA test to prove he is the father. Your child is just that - your child.

Answer 10

You could always give the baby your name for now and if and when you get married you could always change the babies last name.