do you think its right for someone to have a baby at 20?

Question

its my best friend, she's not with her bf anymore but knows he will be a great dad and surport her.

Answer 1

If she feels she is ready to have a baby then it does not mater how old she is. I truly hope though that the dad does support her as it is a tough job to do.

Answer 2

O.k. Let me climb up on my soap box....

#1 She should have thought about that before having sex, the only 100% birth control is what? ........No Sex.

#2 From personal experience I say do not have an abortion period. My mom aborted a kid that would have been a little over a year older than me and I blew a gasket when she told me.
plus now I have fertility problems and so to get my baby I had to adopt. That may have been a side effect of the abortion that she had so I hold a grudge against her for that.
not tomention I have type 1 diabetes and a couple other minor medical problems any of which could have been cause by my big brother or sisters murder.

#3 If she wants the baby the man doesn't matter. a baby can grow up happy and healthy with just one parent, and If you are worried about finding a boyfriend or husband after having a baby, It'll chase off a lot of the immature, sex crazed losers which is actually a good thing. your odds of finding a keeper are probably actually increased because you might not have to waste so much time on idiots.

I am not trying to be mean but My husband and I tried so hard to get pregnant did all kinds of fertility treatment and as I said ended up adopting the best baby in the world. It just kills me when I hear of people who don't understand what a gift it is to be able to have a baby even if your initial reaction was "oops".

Age doesn't matter.

my aunt aborted a baby ,her boyfriend made her. about 12 yrs ago. she still cries and feels bad and cries every year on what she thinks the birthday would have been.

If you don't think your ready....Adoption is a good option. I am sure the baby would rather be born and go to someone who loves him/her for the not only because of genetics or to never be born at all. so sad...heck I'd adopt another in a heartbeat.

whatever the decision that is a little person not just a fetus and anyone with maternal instincts would have a hard time living with themselves if they harmed him/her.

Oh by the way I started fertility treatment @ 21 years old. now I have a toddler and he is perfect.

Good luck with the baby and remember Jesus loves you and your baby.

Answer 3

Age and maturity don't always come hand in hand, so it is a very relative situation.

If she's ready both financially and emotionally for the responsibility and 24-7 hard work of having a baby, then she should go for it.

A complete family would be ideal. The boyfriend marrying her would be best. Being a great dead and support her would be cool. BUT... tell her not to count on it. It's a big N-O, no. Things change and people change. If she's not positively ready to be a single parent, then don't do it.

The good thing about having a baby at a younger age is that when her baby turns into a teenager, she would still be young enough to be his/her friend, not just a mother. It would make a lot of difference in the young boy/girl's development, especially when the baby turns out to be a girl.

Wish your best friend a good life, whatever her decision is.

Answer 4

Alright hun, I have a personal story to share with you. I was 18 when I got pregnant. I was dating this boy for less than 3 months at the time. He was a drunk and that is the only time I could stand him. (when I was intoxicated too) I had my "angel" when I was 19. I had not graduated high school yet and was working in a bar until I was half through my pregnancy. I was not ready to grow up yet. The minute my daughter came into this world, I was a mom. It was time to wake up! And that is exactly what I did. I had my doubts about the father of my daugher too, but after the 1st year, he has come around. Things are going to be tough, being seperated and all. But, everyday that your friend wakes up, she is going to look at that child and forget about all the problems in the world. Give the guy a little while to get used to being a dad, because men do not have the insticts like us women. As for your friend, she will be a great mom, it is in MOST of our blood. Hopefully she has a great mom to help lead her through like I have. Just be very supportive of all of her decisions, she needs you now more than ever!

Answer 5

hi there, I was 17 when i had my first baby i am now 27 and have 2 children. The age issue really does not mean anything you can be 17 and a faniastic mum or 40 and not cope at all vise vereser.
as long as ur friend has love and support she will be fine. Although it is a life change and bigger to some than others go with the flow and fate will decide the rest Good Luck.
Ps i am happy in life and am so glad i had my kids when i did

Answer 6

I got pregnant at 19..and had baby at 20. There are so many p.c. ways to do things now. Meet someone..get engaged.get married..buy house..have kids. I don't believe in any of that stuff. As long as its what she wants and she has support..theres no reason why not. There is so much help nowadays for single parents..its almost a better choice than being married! Im 23 now and expecting my third baby. Both my sisters are reaching their thirties and i think its dangerous to have kids past thrity-five....your body is most capable when it is at its peak of fertility...if your worried she is ruining her life...she will have 18 great years with a child, putting all her time into it..then when she hits forty..she will know what she really wants in life, and can go and get it when everyone else is tied down with their own families..in my opinion...doing it in your twenties is the best time! you still have time for a life after the kids have grown-up!

Answer 7

A good friend of mine got caught pregnant to her now ex-boyfriend when she was 16. She knew the dad wouldn't be around because he is a complete idiot who cheated on her, took drugs and was in and out of prison, and to be fair she knew she didn't want her baby to have him for a role model. She's now 19 and having brought her gorgeous son up pretty much on her own so far bar help from her mum and friends, she has the happiest, brightest polite 3 year old you could wish for. I'm 22 and expecting my first in September and if I'm half as good a mum as my friend Stacey, then I will be proud. In answer to your question, I see no reason why your friend should not have her baby and be able to cope, whether the dad sticks around or not.

Answer 8

Right? Who are you to decide what's right for her? She's an adult. She can make her own choices. As for my opinion on the matter, I got pregnant at 18 and had my son at 19. So, no, I don't see anything wrong with it. And just because the dad isn't with her anymore doesn't mean she should give the child up or anything. People break up. It happens. There are plenty of single moms out there who are doing just fine without a man.

Answer 9

I don't see anything bad about becoming a mother at 20, as long as you are emotionally and financially stable, then why not? My mother got pregnant with me when she was 19 but at the time it was not good for her because she had to stop school and didn't have the chance to finish her studies anymore. Like I said there is nothing wrong with it as long as you are ready and financially, physically and emotionally stable. Becoming a mother is not a joke as you will have a whole new different life when the baby is born. If your friend is ready then tell her to go with it. Young parents make intelligent babies, hehehehe........ Tell your friend Congratulations!!!

Answer 10

Tell her to have the baby, love it, take good care of it, and don't look back. If she's already pregnant, then there's nothing left to do but get her self together and be a mommy. No matter how responsible or irresponsible she thinks she is, what the dad does or doesn't do, or what anyone else thinks or does, she's got to grow up and handle her business. It will be hard, it's hard for every mom, but she'll find the strength.

Answer 11

Well, if she decides not to keep the baby then I suggest adoption. I am a biased opinion though because my husband and I are trying to adopt and understand the joy you would be giving someone.

Some pros though are the fact that if you place the baby and choose an open adoption you can see pictures and letters of your child as they grow and know you made a good decision (with abortion you can't do that).

Anyway, I would love to talk with you if you would like to place your child in an adoptive home. We are working with an agency and have a home study.