what do you think of my poem?

Question

i don't know where this idea came from; it just flew out from nowhere.... (so it isn't perfect, or anywhere near perfect, but...)

i failed math;
came time for the
notebook check,
all Teacher found were
a tangle
of h e a r t s;
(all) with
your.name
in the center

Answer 1

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Added 2/9/07:
You asked my opinion, I gave it. Why did you then threaten my life? I am pasting the e-mail you sent me here. I will consider notifying the police as well.

From: ohemgee474

Subject: hi i love your answers

Message: AND YOU SUCK ****!!!!
MAJORLY!!!!!
**** YOU, I HOPE YOU GET TORTURED TO DEATH AND I"VE SENT A MURDERER TO YOUR HOUSE JUST RIGHT NOW SO THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN, ALRIGHT?
HAHAHA
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
YOU'LL BELIEVE ME WHEN YOU'RE DEAD TOMORROW!!!
HAHAHAHA!!!!
PSYCHOLOGICAL FREAK!!!!!
DUMBASS!!!!!
SON-OF-A-MEGA-*****!!!!!!
OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE, ALRIGHT?
BECAUSE REALLY, YOU ARE JUST A MAJOR WASTE OF SPACE AND I WISH SOMEONE WOULD THROW YOU INTO SPACE.
I BET A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THAT TOO, BECAUSE I ASKED THEM.
AND THEY ARE HELPING ME PAY FOR THE MURDERER COSTS. HAHA.
BUT REALLY,
I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL.

Answer 2

This is NOT a poem. And it isn't very good whatever it is. Apparently Jeanne B takes umbrage with my answer. It is NOT a poem unless you want it to be one, which I guess you do. It's not good, but why even bother saying that, because what you really want is ego stroking by your peers, and anyone who dares to NOT STROKE the teen set today, will incur their toddler-like tantrums. Apparently, you all want to hear that you are brilliant beyond words, and if some of us don't heap praise on you for every little thing you say and do (including, I suppose going to the bathroom), then everyone is in an uproar. OK, if what you want to hear is that you are absolutely brilliant and this "poem" is the living end, and that the world has been waiting with bated breath for your utter brlliance to emerge, then so be it. Hope you're happy in your little world.

Answer 3

If there's one thing I don't see enough of in poetry it's the semicolon. You have two of them.

When I first started writing poetry, they started our fairly short as well. I have since gone on to graduate with a degree in English and a minor in poetry. I learned that all you have to do is start somewhere and keep going.

I especially like the "(all)", framed within the paranthesis emphasized the sense of being framed by the "tangle / of hearts"

Answer 4

As a teacher, I see notebooks like this all the time!

Well done!

Let's see if we can fix your poem up a little.

I failed math;
when time came
for the notebook check
all the teacher
found
was your name
framed
by tangles of hearts


What do you think?

Answer 5

Work on it, I see her there! I write poetry too!

Failed math;
came time for
book check.
Teacher found
**a tangle**
of h e a r t s;
***with***
your name
in the center.


(take out the aterisk and center which I can't do on here)

Happy Valentines Day!

Answer 6

In the center of my Note Book surrounded with my notes of colorful hearts and flowers sharing my thoughts of how I wish I would have studied a little harder to have made a passing grade a grade that one would be proud of, But instead I set here imagining what life would be like in the center of my note book surrounded by flowers. The End

Answer 7

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably ought to rhyme regardless of the indisputable fact that it needs to hit my thoughts. i imagine readability of expression is major besides. i do not decide on to 2d wager what i'm studying about. I continuously search for what I time period "poetic gemstones"contained in the textual content.

Answer 8

Kittyroge...said this is not a poem, but, indeed it is. A college poetry class will tell you the formal name of the type of poem it is. It's good. I like it, it tells the whole story without spelling it all out word for word. Keep writing.
But pay attention in class.

Answer 9

I enjoyed the pathos inherent in your poem

Answer 10

good start... post the finished product