I got an invitation to my childhood friend's wedding. As a child, daddy would let me go over there and play with her and we would have the best of times with our dolls. We both had these huge doll houses that our dad's built for us, and we used to pretend that one of our cute guy dolls and cute girl dolls were having a garden wedding in the "backyard". It was so cute! Now, that she is really getting married, it is like a dream come true but my husband told me that since the wedding will be over at her fiance's parents house he doesn't want me to go. I asked why and he told me it was because her fiance's family doesn't destroy the earthenware vessels if their relative dies inside their house. (He found out her fiance's grandfather died there) He is thinking that they will use some of those vessels during the reception. I know that is bad, but I REALLY want to go to her wedding. Do you know of something I could do or say to make my husband change his mind? :(
2007-02-08 13:07:40 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him he doesn't have to go and hope he enjoys watching the game while you have a great time living it up with your friend at her wedding. Sounds like your husband is very controlling and was looking for any excuse to make you not go. Don't give him the satisfaction.
2007-02-08 13:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I guess I don't understand about the earthenware vessels. However, I wouldn't miss out on the wedding, especially because it means so much to you and your friend. I would tell him that you are going, with or without his blessing. I don't believe in asking permission when I am a grown adult. I would tell him I understand where he is coming from, but that this wedding means a lot to you, and that you think he should consider your feelings in this matter. If he still doesn't want you to go...tell him you're sorry he feels that way, but you must follow your own heart in this decision.
2007-02-08 13:16:19 · answer #2 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, I am not a person who openly is emotional. This...wow. I do understand, and you really provide strength for those experiencing similiar in life. I left the country, and though having returned...I wonder if one day they will find me....and so it may not be how much can one forgive when they love....but what can two forgive. Though you are at not falt, they had many years to be alone when they would have been better with you...even if they did it to themselves...it was to the both of you. They have to learn to forgive themselves, and then ask you...the courage is amazing for both. Impressive. It must be difficult, and in a sense beautiful. At very least they are no longer an addict. Since your love loyal and genuine entirely....you probably are most relieved that the one you once loved and once loved you and themselves....fell hard, and it too broke your heart....but they had the courage to turn around and face the one they know they hurt...when probably the entire time, they loved you dearly but forgot how to love themselves. Just a thought.
2016-05-23 23:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand about the vessels, it is a wedding what does "the earthenware vessels" have to do with it. You really need your husband's permission to attend a childhood friend's wedding.
2007-02-08 13:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find out if they will be using those vessels, and tell him. Be honest. Tell him how much it will mean to you, and how it will hurt you and her not to go. Tell him, also, that his opinion is important to you, and be prepared to stay home if he doesn't relent. Which is more important...your childhood friend or the man you promised to love, honor and respect? When (if) he does change his mind, do something very special for him to show how much you appreciate his gesture. It may seem childish, but it's a man thing. Make him important and he will give you what you want (unless he is seriously mentally ill).
2007-02-08 13:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by janejane 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. You are an adult. Unless this will cause a financial burden I can't see the validity of his objection of "you" going.
OR
Assuming this is a religious issue and recognizing I'm not to knowledgeable of the restrictions.
You go and assure him that you will not consume food that "may have been" prepared using the earthenware/porous vessels of that household.
2007-02-08 13:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by yorlooksmybiz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LET you go to the wedding? Is your hubby now replacing your daddy? You're an adult, right?
I understand wanting to be on one accord with your husband, but really...
Plus, what sort of tradition is the earthenware vessel destruction part of? Never heard of it.
2007-02-08 13:16:23 · answer #7 · answered by toplessone19700 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do you REALLY honor and respect your husband? I want this, i want that, gimme gimme gimme gimme is all I'm hearing from you.
So waht that this is your friends "dream come true" aren't supposed to be living yours?
Even though his superstistion may seem silly to you, he has his reasons. The only thing that could possibly change your husbands mind is saying that you respect his wishes for you to NOT go to this wedding and that you will not go. He might see that as a show of respect and allow you to go, If not, that just shows how much you really honor and cherish your husband.
but, if you want to be whiney and bratty and b*tchy, then by all means nag him to death about going. Then he will see that you don't give a crap about any of his beliefs and that you will disrespect him any chance you get. And please, if you think that I am wrong, show your husband this responce, i'm sure he will agree with me 100%.....(unless you are scared that he will get upset that you are asking STRANGERS about what to do in your marriage instead of keeping these things SACRED and private...)
Also, who do you love more....
Your beloved husband whom you have sex with, have built a life with and prolly have kids by? Or your childhood friend that could have changed over the years...
2007-02-08 13:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by Pandora 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
tell him, that you are going to a wedding, not to a vessel ceremony or something. he can't burn the bridges between you and your friends, especially the dearest ones.
He has to understand not only his wishes, but yours too, and if you want to spend some of YOUR lifetime at your fiends wedding, he HAS to let you go. And he doesn't have to show up, if he doesn't like it
Good luck!
2007-02-08 13:16:07 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet_summer_breeze 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
are you really screwing around with people in this forum? if you are, why? we dont need to have you get your jollys off of trying to make others look foolish. anyone who spends the time to help another person is never a fool,only the people who try to exploit them
2007-02-08 14:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋