Why do so many marriages fail?

Question

Isn't anyone willing to work at their relationship anymore, when things aren't going to plan?

Answer 1

I wish i had the anwser to that

Answer 2

Some really do work at it sweety, to a point where they forget to love themselves. They finally give up after years of struggling,thinking it will get better, because at times instead of situations getting better they get worse.

In terms of abuse, adultery and no longer getting the love, respect, appreciation you deserve.

It is emotionally draining. Would rather be alone than unhappy. You???

Those who manage to make it, communicate about any challenges facing them and both parties implement whatever the solution they have reached, depending also on who's wrong in the first place. Marriage is still a two way thing, if the other one is not willing to cooperate, the other one might decide to divorce or if possible just live with it.

Answer 3

Marriages fail for a lot of different reasons. Some couples shouldn't get married in the first place. (my ex and myself) some marriages are based solely on "outside" influences such as finances (my ex and myself). Some couples get married too soon in the relationship, before they actually get to know the REAL person and then sometime after the wedding are surprised to find that the person they're married to is not the person they married...or thought they married. There are those who marry someone they really can't tolerate expecting that person to change into "Mr.right" or "Ms perfect" Some couples just grown in different directions. While things may have been wonderful in the beginning, children coming along, changes in employment, loss of employment sometimes plays a major role in the breakup of marriages.
The fact is that each person in a marriage is an individual, getting married does NOT make them one. Life changes in a heartbeat and sometimes it's not so easy or even advisable to stay in a marriage to "work at it" would you advise a battered spouse to say in the marriage and work at the relationship? I know a woman who did just that...her children are now in foster homes because their father beat her to death and is now serving a life sentence in priosn for her death and frankly I don't think her plan was to be beaten to death...

Answer 4

I think it has to do with not communicating properly in all aspects (sexual, social, financial, goals to set, etc.). It is important to be on the same page ,as well as, having a sense of maturity. I've been married for 2 1/2 years and it is not the easiest thing but we have learned to work things out together.
This is why marriages fail:
1. You have to learn to forgive (and I am not talking about cheating which to me is unforgivable. But in some cases it does work)
2. Learn that your spouse is not perfect. There is no such thing as perfection,therefore you don't expect it.
3. When it comes to children (which I don't have yet), be on the same page when using discipline. Or else, it can be held against you.
4. Take time to be together, as well as, personal space.
5. Learn to respect each other in all aspects.

Like I said, I am not an expert but i've been with my husband for 6 years (living 5 years together) and we are very young and people get shocked when they know our age. Hopefully, my own advice will help me because so far it has. Time can only tell. If not, then I don't know what it is then.
Good Question!!!

Answer 5

The young people today are taught if things don't go their way, get out and find greener pastures. It is a shame that family values have declined so much today. Very few are willing to work at a relationship. They want everything their way or the highway. Too many inconsiderate, uncaring, spoiled brats going into marriages all for the wrong reasons. SAD, to say the least. There is too much negativity in The US today concerning morals, families, compassion, and fidelity. I wish there were an answer but there is no easy one.

Answer 6

Because marriage in todays society is outdated. It is possible for women to survive financial on their own. It is possible for men to obtain perks such as sex and female companionship without submitting to marriage. The stigma of children born out of wedlock has faded considerably.Ergo the traditional reasons for
two people to stay in a marriage once the inevitable problems
appear are reduced.

As a woman, why should I stay with somebody who makes me miserable- if I have, as I should have, educated myself and made it possible to survive alone and perhaps seek out a different more suitable partner in the future? Why on earth would I ever stay with a man who abuses me or doesn't treat me with the level of respect I believe I deserve- whatever level that might be?

As a man, why should I submit myself to an institition where, if
things go wrong, there is the distinct possiblity of me bearing the
lions share of the financial price, and, usually, the presumption of
being the guilty party? I know many men who, after the marriage
ends, are reduced to being a child support check and a weekend
visitor to their children after the courts decided, capriciously,
to believe their ex wives version of the marriage over theirs.
Who needs that? If I really want children, to carry my DNA
forward, I might be better served simply hiring a surrogate
womb like Michael Jackson did. What advantage
does marriage give me?

In an increasingly connected world, with increasingly
sophisticated methods for finding partners, why should anybody
waste any of the limited time they have available to them on this
planet with a partner they have judged to be unsuitable? Why?
It is simply not worth it. There are millions of potential partners,
but we dont even have a million hours to live.This might sound
selfish but the fact is that each of us is handed a limited amount
of time to use when they arrive here and they should be the
ones who decide how to use it, not some outdated idea of how
society worked in the past.

Rather than asking why so many marriage fail, rather we should
ask why so many bad marriage stay together.

Answer 7

Well, there are two reasons:
1. Most people who are married now weren't raised in a household where their parents stayed married. Because of that, they didn't have a very good example to go by.
2. Lack of commitment.

My mom always told me growing up that the only difference between a marriage that makes it and a marriage that doesn't is COMMITMENT.
She was definitely entitled to pass judgement like that. She and my dad were married for 34 years. The night before he died, they held hands in the ambulance.
That's how I want it to be for my husband and I; I want to be holding hands with him at the very end.

Answer 8

Very good point here Penny. You are so right we need to work at and on our marriages instead of wanting out over every little thing and problem we may face. If people would just work and and on things in the marriage and stop wanting to run and want out over every little thing our marriages would be much more successful and happier. there definitley would be alot less divorces. Great question by the way.

Answer 9

Two things usually break down: (1) trust and (2) the lines of communication. If you do not have these two things up and running the marriage will continue to fray and come apart. You have hinted at the truth of yet another thing - many people simply are not willing to work at putting things right again. It is easier for them to fold their tent and try to find a different desert, which is a bleak but accurate analogy.

Answer 10

There are lots of us out there willing to work at it... but we're seriously outnumbered. Today's culture is one of instant gratification, focus on self, and entitlement. We 'deserve' to be happy, OUR satisfaction is more important than anything else, and anything worth having is worth having NOW. Divorce is so common, people think there's nothing wrong with walking away from a lifetime commitment. There's no longer any shame in divorce, and the financial devastation of divorce isn't what it used to be.
All we can do is teach our children to stick to what they start. Unless there's abuse, addiction or adultery (and that one's iffy), there is NO justification for walking out on a marriage. Rough spots, or falling out of love, or meeting someone new - too bad. grow up, deal with reality, and work for the marriage you've always dreamed of.
Lack of religious beliefs, or acceptance of divorce by religion also affects the divorce rate - those that believe that God intended marriage for life tend to see divorce as not being an option.

Answer 11

Allot of us are willing and have even tried to work it out but the other wouldn't have it. In today's society it is easier to get a divorce than it is to get counseling and it's cheaper.What most people want now is a quick fix to a problem then move on.Relationships are a dime a dozen to most people these days.