Can Infidelity Improve A Marriage?

Question

My sex drive has always been considerably higher than my wife's. This has caused some problems in what has otherwise been a very good marriage.

I run a successful business that was just me for several years. Three years ago, I employed a woman about 5 years older than me. We had a totally professional relationship - indeed, we have little in common, or so I thought

Seven months ago, I took her with me to a trade fair. This involved an overnight stay. We had a meal together and the wine loosened our tongues and libido. We made love that night. Afterwards, she told me that she had a much higher sex drive than her husband.

Since that night, we have had sex in the office on an almost daily basis. Sometimes twice a day. We do not see each other socially at all.

The sexual frustration that caused a small amount of friction in my marriage has disappeared completely. The woman reports the same effect in her marriage. Are we wrong to continue?

Gosh ... has Yahoo answers become the last stand of the moral majority?

Answer 1

you do whatever makes you feel happy bro

Answer 2

Well, when you ask "are we wrong to continue", the only person who can answer that for you is your wife. If, as I suspect, you know she would say "yes, it's wrong", then you are betraying her trust and making a mockery of your marriage. I can see your argument, and I understand why you want to have your cake and eat it too, as it were, but there is more to consider here than you getting your end away on a regular basis. You say this other woman wants the same as you - are you absolutely sure about that? You have nothing in common except sex, is she worth losing your wife over? Women have a tendency of saying what a guy wants to hear - you may find further down the line she wants more from you than you think. Also, if her sex drive is so high, is she having sex with anyone else? Imagine passing on an STD to your innocent wife. Or explaining that your mistress has "accidentally" become pregnant? Surely you would be better trying to rekindle things a little with your wife - it's Valentine's Day coming up - take her somewhere nice, buy her some lingerie. Or, get yourself a personal DVD player, some porn DVDs and a box of tissues for your office.

Answer 3

Ask your wife!!!
The reason that you don't ask her is because you know how she will react and you know that she would be justified.
You sound as though you have almost gotten to the point where you are really having an affair for her benefit, to improve your marriage.
What you are doing is selfish, dishonest and dishonorable and trying to rationalize a justification for it is self delusional. You knew the answer before you asked the question but you were probably testing the excuse for believability.
You should stop now and try to be a better person for your wife.

Answer 4

Your words: My sex drive has always been considerably higher than my wife's. This has caused some problems in what has otherwise been a very good marriage.

Imagine what would happen if your wife knew. Or how would you feel if you found out she's allowing another man to fill in the much need attention she felt she wasn't getting from you. if you can pose these questions to yourself and feel no remorse for your actions or you're ok with somebody eles spending "quality time" with your wife and family. Then perhaps you no longer need to be married to your wife.

Answer 5

I beleive in fidelity 100%. Is sex really that important??? There is nothing more painful than having someone betray you in that way. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? You made a committment to your wife and that means working things out during the tough times. You don't have to cheat to get sexual pleasure. Is it worth your marriage or the pain brought to your wife? She loves and trusts you and probably would never think you would do this to her. You may think of it as just a sexual thing...but to your wife, that is the worst act of all. Is this worht it, ask yourself that? I think you know that cheating is wrong...everyone does. You can try to rationalize it all you want, but you would not have posted this question if you thought it was ok.

Answer 6

No i do not feel it can... It hurts the marriage and the people in it and it is not worth it! you should not continue to do this and no i do not feel what you are doing to your marriage and spouse is right at all. Does your wife know about your affair you are having and your cheating? I think she has a right to know about this dont you? How would you feel if your wife was doing this to you? Your wife should leave and divorce you and find someone who treats her better and loves her better than what you ever will. You do not deserve your wife! You also need to let your poor wife go and divorce her as she does not make you happy and give you all your selfish desires. She can do way better then you pal!

Answer 7

Certainly not. What you are doing is disgusting and vile. I bet you must also be having unprotected sex with “this fraudulent woman”, and with so many incurable diseases all over the world such as HIV/AIDS … my advice to you would be, stop what you are doing NOW, and cease your work and sexual relationship with this “other” woman. You may still be able to save yourself from a lonely and miserable life when your wife finds out and KICKS you out of her life (taking the kids as well if you have got any).

Answer 8

In some instances infedelity can improve a marriage but in your case you can kiss your marriage good-bye simply because of the frequency of your "romps". One time can be overlooked and a second chance often times possible.
If you value your marriage and love and respect your wife you need to tell her and take your punishement so to speak.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Look at all .... you all have some problems with your sexuality
and sociability.. you must not care for your wife in a sexual way or at least you thought you did .. did you ever think she is not attracted to you that's why it is not fulfilling to both of you.... there is more to sex than the act ..and sometimes when when we can not perform physically.. we create emotionally to connect physically .. quit hurting your wife she will probley be happy with the honesty ...just screw like pigs and leave the inocent alone.. they are not attracted to you

Answer 10

Okay......here is a twist on your twisted look at marriage....suppose that you found out that your wife's "Low sex drive" was because SHE was getting herself some from.....Oh lets say the guy next door while you were at work. You okay with that? Personally I hope she finds out.....takes you for everything you have....and finds herself a REAL man. Hmmmm....maybe your sluts husband will find out too and Kick the crap out of you.....then end up with your wife.....now THAT would be sweat.

Answer 11

You might think your right and safe to continue now but somethings going to give, one of you is going to want more from the relationship and then there will be tears...How would your wife, her husband feel if they knew..it's a dangerous game that someones going to lose in the end.