I been married for 3 months and have a newborn, the man i married and the fatyher of my child has put his hands on me when we were fighting and will throw things across the room such as glasses, and dishes. I dont know if i should leave i'm scared i wont be able to take care of myself and my child alone. i dont know how to talk to him about this, he will always say it was my fault and i desvered everything i got( being pushed and thrown around). How do you talk to someone like that, what would you say?
2007-02-08 12:45:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get Out! There is NEVER.....and I mean NEVER ANY reason for a man OR women to put there hands on the person they SAY they love....in any other way than love. If he has done it once....twice.....it will only get worse. Trust me...I grew up in a house like this....leave now!
2007-02-08 12:53:18 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are married to an abusive man. If he has already come to a point by pushing you, throwing you around, and throwing other objects around and breaking them, he is considered a violent man.
You need to get yourself and your child to a safer place. You as a parent should protect your child. If this is a pattern for him and he does this every time he gets angry, then he may need some help and you need to find a place for you and your child to stay.
Right now you are afraid to talk to him about his behavior, but if he is willing to hear you, then you need to tell him that you are concerned with the way he is treating you. That maybe he should get himself some counseling. If he becomes defensive when you two talk, then you need to leave him alone. When he is gone to work, pack some clothes for you and the baby and find a place like the nearest women's shelter or a nearest relative.
Not sure how you are in the marriage, but it does take two to tangle. So hopefully you will do the right thing here.
He is having a hard time dealing with his anger and he needs to learn how to control it, because it is already controlling him.
2007-02-08 13:00:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i found out i was pregnant with my little boy who is now 2 and a half my partner was not happy. he too told me that the baby cant be his and how he couldnt possibly have got me pregnant..! i spent days crying and feeling very alone. He was 25 years old an d i was 21 however he thought he was too young? The best thing that i did was to talk to my parents.. i needed support from someone and once he knew that other people knew he wasnt as quick to bully me. He tried to convine me t abort the baby and i looked up on the internet some information about abortions, i am pro choice and abortions have there place in society. i myself am not the sort of person who could go through with it and forgive myself. Please think long and hard this is his baby but it will effect you in ways you could not imagine. If he truly loves you he will come to terms with your decision to keep or terminate the pregnancy but if you are not 100% dont do it. He has a responsibility to you and his unborn baby to support you in the decisions you make about your body. Good luck. I really feel for you xx
2016-05-23 23:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's more of an infant than the newborn! Get away from him ASAP, before he hurts u &/or the baby. Look in the phone book for a shelter for abused women & call them- they'll help u get away. They'll also help u to find a job so u can support urself & the baby, & he'll have to pay child support, too. These types of shelters have all kinds of help for women like u, legal help so u can file for legal seperation, counciling to help u w/low self esteem. He's physicaly & verbally abusing u & no man has the right to do that. IT IS NOT UR FAULT!! Do u have any family at all, that can help u? Friends? U DO NOT DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT!! Good Luck! ( Please, let me know how u're doing).
2007-02-08 13:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by louise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you will be able to talk any sense into a person like that. He'll always say he's sorry once he goes too far and then treat you good for a short while before the cycle repeats itself again. You can do what a friend of mine did and check yourself into a women's shelter for the abused and then look for some legal help to protect you and your child. The state has programs where they help single parents and their children who are in situations like yours, get by til they can find stable jobs that are sufficient in providing for you and your child. It's a very difficult situation that you and your baby are facing now, but it's up to you and you alone to do something in order to avoid further abuse and possibly worse.
2007-02-08 13:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by lonelypuppy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your town there will be a shelter for abused women. When he isn't home or out of sight take the bus or walk out of there with your baby. No one under any circumstances should be living like this. If you were to call the police or a friend I'm sure they could take you away from this terrible situation. Make a plan to get out, don't wait until he really hurts you or the baby! Abusers like this always put the blame on the other person. If that were me I'd call the police and have them take him away. Act Now, save you and your babies life. he will never change. He needs anger management sessions. Cocoa
2007-02-08 12:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by cocoa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is physical abuse you need to get you and your baby out of there now! Like as of yesterday! Leave now and dont look back. Protect yourself and the little one. Do not tell him where you are going either. File for divorce once you are out. You will also need counseling and help once you are out too to help you get past the pain of all of this. There are agencies that will help you and your baby out with money food and clothing. Talk to social services as well and he will have to pay you child support and maybe even alimony. Is there any way that you can stay with family at all?
2007-02-08 12:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start right now planning your way out. It can only get worse unless he gets professional h elp.. You will be helpless unless you are able to support yourself and your child. I will never let myself get into the position whereas I don't have a resource to draw from. Learn a trde, something that will be useful in h elping you to support yourself and your child. If he hits you now,he'll continue to do so. You can't stay in a marriage where you are afraidof your spouse!
2007-02-08 13:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Not tomorrow but now. If you don't you not only put yourself at risk again but you are also putting your baby at risk.
There are shelters for abused/battered women and they will take you in and help you get an attorney to help you also.
Just leave him and call the law if not for you then do it for your innocent newborn babys sake.
2007-02-08 13:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by n0s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I'd be ready to jump back into the single life, and find someone who can respect you and your child for who you are, without the physical danger.
You need to tell him that you are leaving, and when you do it, do it with at least one other person there. (He'll be less likely to threaten physical harm, and there'll be a witness to it if he does lose his temper.)
There's so many good people in the world that are looking for someone just like you, regardless of being a single mother.
You not only owe this to yourself, you owe it to your child.
Hope this helped, and good luck.
2007-02-08 12:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by W3TOD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋