WHY do people ask personal questions...do not say ..."oh, they?

Question

are interested in you....or they just want to know...."...i mean i would not ask PERSONAL QUESTIONS OF SOMEONE UNLESS I KNEW THEM WELL OR was about to marry someone...WHAT I MEAN IS REAL PERSONAL ....

Answer 1

To have something to exploit & possibly manipulate with later.

Answer 2

Naivety is my excuse if I really need an excuse. I genuinely love people and, for example when I see someone, male or female (though men are more touchy) in the street switch off their mobile 'phone and cry, I sum up the situation and (I'm sixty and could be considered a "dirty old man") offer my kindness.

I don't actually ASK anything but I just reassure people that I at least (and I'm not at all religious or anything like that) care. That in itself usually gets a happy response. I guess that the smile I get is just to please me but it's hard to smile and not please yourself a bit.

How personal is "personal". Some stories of rape, physical abuse and just being taken for granted bring tears to my eyes. But, and this is important, I don't actually ask any question, not even "what's the matter?"

It's their call and if they want my compassion and sharing they get it. If they don't and tell me to "F**** off" that's OK.

Personal questions should always be for the benefit of the receiver not the giver. If you don't trust someone don't answer. If you do, and even it's a person on the street that you just know you can trust then fire away.

Another advantage to this is that, unless you want it to, your question remains relatively secret. In general get people around you that you KNOW you can trust (even if they are strangers -it's often in the eyes you see this!)

Answer 3

They ask personal questions because they are not aware of the boundaries of polite conversation. Most parents teach their children the difference between polite inquiry and trespassing, but it seems that either the children aren't paying attention, or the parents are getting a little lazy in the teaching department. I was taught that when asked a personal question, the best response is, "Why do you want to know"? Whatever they answer, just smile and say, "I see", or nothing at all.

Answer 4

Are you talking in person or online? If online, people tend to forget their place and become more open, even to the point of making the other person feel uncomfortable. If in person, then maybe they just don't have the same standards as you in the sense that something they're asking isn't as personal to them as it is to you. Most of the time, they are just trying to get to know you better. If you're uncomfortable with what someone is asking you, just politely let them know. If the person is respectful, they'll back off. If not, then they're probably not the type of person you want to get to know anyway.

Answer 5

The next time someone asks you a real personal question, respond by asking "Why do you want to know that?"

I think some people feel the need to fill silence with talk, but they can't think of anything so they blurt out something they shouldn't.

Answer 6

Some people develop an attitude that it is OK to ask very personal questions regardless of the level of the relationship. They can get this from one or both parents (remember the "busybody" stereotype?), from TV talk shows which get into very personal topics, or just from a lack of good home training about what is appropriate and what isn't. Many of us seem to want to know a person's age, their ethnic background, their sexual orientation, their marital status, for no good reason other than idle curiosity.

Answer 7

That bugs me also.
Luckily I have a job where I work on my own.
But it really irks me when the second question people ask(after learning your name) is ...."
are you married?"...
and I have had occasions where....when I replied in the negative...."why not?".
That is when I want to say ..."none of your GD business." But I restrain myself.

What is really weird is when a GUY asks another GUY if he has girlfriend.
That is creepy.
Usually foreign guys ask that stuff.

But that is usually where the intrusive questions start.

I don't like personal questions right out of the gate.
Or overfamiliarity.
Or a wiseass.

edit: I forgot the "why".
I think it is because they are dense....so dense that if you criticized their intrusive question they would look at you with an uncomprehending look of DENSENESS.

Answer 8

i'm confused... you say you wouldn't ask personal questions unless you knew them well - uh, how did you get to know them well if you didn't ask questions??? Hmmmm.

Anyway, in all seriousness: some ask extremely personal questions of others because they are nosey! or perhaps they have not been taught that it is rude to ask. Then again, perhaps they feel closer to you than you do to them.

Answer 9

probably they are so very inquisite about the others details ( you know the gossip mongers)
some on the other hand just love the feeling of putting the other individual in a delicate situation( a sort of know it all feeling comes to them)
aperson who really cares will not try to put the other person in a very unpleasant situation

Answer 10

Because they choose to ask them? Your question has all kinds of skips in it. Perhaps that is why the need for the personal questions? I need to ask one now. Are you okay?

Answer 11

I do have the same problem, so you are not the only one
But ask for different reasons, could be jalousy, could curiosity, could be knowing you, could be interested in you, could be liking you but they need to know well in order to get something from you at the same time.
so people are mean.