MARRIED PEOPLE: Is your first year really the hardest? Do you regret anything? 10 pts????

Answer 1

First year was the hardest...yup...13 years later and things have gone down hill. lol

Answer 2

I don't think the first years the hardest becouse your still in the "honeymoon" phase. I'm on marriage number 2 my first marriage ended after 8 years and I've been with #2 10 years. I think there is something to be said for the 7 year itch. That was when my first marriage really fell apart and at about the same time in the relationship hubby #2 and I had some tough problems but we stuck through it and worked hard and got back on track. I think that is a difficult period becouse you've pasted the "honeymoon" stage and all the newness of married life like creating a home togeather and maybe a family and are settling into routine yet you are not so connected yet as to be totally comfortable togeather like an "old married couple". There are a lot of things I regret from my first marriage , like being true to myself and more vocal about my needs rather than passive,but I learnt from those mistakes and thats why #2 is still going strong.

Answer 3

In most relationships the first year is always the hardest! For me though it was good, but I think my reason was because I lived with him for 4 years before we got married. If you don't live together first I think it's the hardest because the first year of us living together it was hard actually the first two or three years was kinda hard really because we was into partying a lot. Which for me meant a lot of cheating. I still feel bad about that and he knows it. I was just lucky that he forgive me every time and we stayed together. So yes I have regrets but not since I have been married to him. Well I guess that answers your question!

Answer 4

Its been six months so far for me and each month has
sucked worse than the previous one. Even the honeymoon
sucked- we fought almost every day. What a waste!
So yes, I would definately say the first year is the hardest.
As many people have also experienced on here, Im finding out
many things that I should have investigated before I got married- I just ignored them because I thought they could be
*worked out* after marriage, (I know- stupid stupid stupid).
Now, many of the warning signs I ignored are now becoming
more and more obvious with each passing month. I definately
regret not listening to my gut feelings and for rushing to get
married for the wrong reasons, (Im 39 and didn't want to pass
40 without being married). I listened to my logical side and
also to the advice of my friends, ("You guys are such great
friends- you'll be great as a couple"- I know- stupid stupid stupid),
rather than to my true feelings. Now I spend most of my time
either trying to work it out, (and usually ending up fighting) or
avoiding my spouse and spending time alone, (as now
on this board) dreaming about my life before I went down this
road. Hopefully Ill come back to these words a couple of years
from now and laugh, but the way it looks now, I doubt it.

I expect its different for everybody,
but yeah, for me the first year of my marriage is the hardest
and most difficult Ive ever spent in my life, (and that includes
the year I spent two months in the hospital).

Answer 5

Been married for 51 years this month. Have 3 kids and 6 grands. Our first year was the easiest by far. The second wasn't bad. Then, I was drafted and sent to the Marine Corps. That was a rough time until I reached the rank of Sgt. It got better and when I was promoted to CWO, it got a lot better, We have travled the world for free and our kids were all born in diff states and that was free also. We spent 25 years in the corps.The first year should be a breeze for you. No regrets because we were, and still are in love.

Answer 6

I'm in my first year (although we had lived together for a year before getting married) - and if this is "hard", I'm really looking forward to the "easy" part! So far it's been nothing but enjoyment, I love spending time with my husband, and we hardly ever argue. I don't regret a thing. I feel that we have a great marriage.

Answer 7

My first 4 were hard. The only regret I have is not finishing college first. Maybe waited until we were a little more mature. I was 20. I say 25 is a better marrying age. We are conservative an d probably a little old fashioned - so it finally worked itself out. Imagine learning a roommate. But you never get to leave. :) That's how it is, so you find out what works and deal with it.

Answer 8

For some people, the first year is the hardest because they are still adjusting to each other and finding out things about the other person that they should have figured out while they were dating or engaged.

For my husband and I, the first year was awesome. Since we are waiting to have kids, our first year was completely kid-free, so we had a lot of freedom to spend time with each other and focus on our relationship -- a very good thing!

Answer 9

YES! The first year is the hardest, because you're dealing with the real person. I regret that I made concessions...I'm being too hard. He'll change. NO!!! I should have been honest that he was working my nerves! Instead I created an atmosphere that everything was OK, and I dropped hints of change. After 17 years I blew, kicked him and his junk out and never looked back.

Answer 10

The first year is said to be the hardest. But, I think that if you are going to have a lifelong relationship, there may be a year or two out of 20-50 years that are damn hard.

Answer 11

The first year? Not at all...we were having too much fun playing around! LOL. I'd have to say the 2nd and 7th - 9th years were the hardest. The 2nd year...because we finally came out of our sex induced "comas" and the 7th - 9th years because we were getting bored with each other.

No regrets for me!!